I want to ask a question to the majority of female friends, are you a well-behaved woman? Or was she once a well-behaved woman?
Whether it is or not, in life we find that "well-behaved women" still represent the personality of most female groups in Chinese society, even in the context of the entire Asian and traditional Oriental culture.
Recently, there was a Japanese movie that focused on a well-behaved woman, focusing on her life and different experiences and growth stories from the female friends around her.
A film that is gentle and delicate enough to allow all kinds of women to automatically substitute emotions:
"Tokyo Noble Woman"
1
The story takes place in Tokyo, Japan, where Hanako Haruna is a typical well-behaved woman.
On New Year's Day 2016, a large family's New Year's dinner was originally the day when she took her fiancé to meet her parents and discuss marriage matters together. But she just broke up with her boyfriend on this day.
Seeing that the marriage was not blown, the parents at the table could not wait to start the marriage, everyone was tongue-tied, and the development of the situation naturally moved from forced marriage to blind date.
Huazi was born into an aristocratic family, but the family was full of girls, so the elders of the family urgently needed a son-in-law as the heir to their own hospital, and they hit Huazi with the idea.
For the matter of marriage, although Huazi did not have a clear opinion, she just instinctively rejected marriage and wanted to find an ordinary person, but she could not resist the persuasion of her family, so she had to agree to a blind date.
After seeing Huazi nodding her head and agreeing to the blind date, everyone finally breathed a sigh of relief, and the atmosphere during the banquet became cheerful again.
As a result, blind dates were put on the agenda intensively.
But where is it so easy to find the right marriage partner?
The No. 1 blind date man is a strange coffee, and the No. 2 blind date man is a prodigal son who wants to settle down, and he is also macho;
Seeing the No. 3 blind date man in a chaotic tavern, the other party rudely shouted cute, so cute, scared Hanako pulled her legs and ran...
Until I met man No. 4, it was on a rainy day. Koichiro Aoki, a talent introduced by his brother-in-law, is a lawyer. What is rare is that he is also careful and considerate, and is a rare ideal object.
Hanako fell in love with him at first sight, and the interaction between the two people went smoothly, and everything seemed to be getting better.
Hanako had a good sister named Yoshiko, who was a violinist who had returned from Germany to develop.
Through her friend Yizi, Hanako learned that this Yukiichiro, with a strong family, can be described as a real tycoon.
The two were like a dream, the two met each other's parents, and with the approval of the parents, Koichiro proposed to Hanako.
Just then, a text message from Koichiro reveals a secret: He has a woman. Hanako flipped to the woman's social account, her name was Miki Isoka.
Through her friend Yoshiko, Hanako meets miki privately, and miki also takes the initiative to admit that she will no longer associate with Koichiro.
After clearing the obstacles, the two were successfully married.
Life after marriage is lackluster, and the way two people get along is respectful and respectful, and they always lack some warmth.
At home, Huazi has nothing to do, but her husband is busy not seeing anyone every day, and she has to face the pressure of her mother-in-law alone, which makes Huazi feel empty.
In fact, this marriage brings More wandering to Hanako than happiness: as her husband Koichiro inevitably embarks on the path of politicians, this makes Hanako feel that the gap between the two is getting bigger and bigger;
After a long period of hesitation and struggle, she finally made up her mind to divorce...
2
This "Tokyo Noble Woman", Douban score of 7.5, wins in the simple plot, delicate emotional portrayal, observation of the living conditions of single aristocratic women, and also has a clear position expression and criticism of the social form solidified by the Japanese class;
However, the ideological pain and struggle faced by women before they finally embark on the road to awakening are not expressed enough, so they are slightly scattered and trivial, and the themes are not deep and clear enough. Fortunately, it is still a good film that expresses women and pays attention to women's themes.
Although in our modern society, the demands of women are no longer three from four virtues, and we no longer emphasize the virtues of "gentleness, courtesy and frugality", but we have to admit:
"Well-behaved woman", this specific label, because it has been respected by traditional social culture and mass education for thousands of years, is still an inseparable personality trait in some female groups.
Meek, obedient, sensible, and well-behaved women's three major character advantages. The performance is that at home, do not let parents worry, please the teacher at school, and reassure the boss in the workplace.
The so-called simple and pollution-free, although it looks perfect, but in fact, in doing their own life problems, the group of well-behaved women is facing the most difficult road.
Because from childhood to adulthood, the family environment of cultivating well-behaved women, the school atmosphere, and the personality of well-behaved women, they have long been accustomed to trying to meet all the requirements and expectations of all outsiders and people around them for a woman, but they only ignore their own psychological needs and inner feelings.
They are always habitually burdened with heavy responsibilities, morality, the expectations and demands of others, even some unreasonable demands, they must bear it alone, endure it silently, and even submit to it, never daring to put forward their own ideas, let alone resist.
Under such a self-expression of personality and the suppression of inner thoughts, how easy is it to be yourself?
For the well-behaved women, the biggest difficulty in self-awakening is actually the first step: to achieve self-awareness from the depths of the heart, first to clarify the direction of the heart: to discover the true needs and desires of the heart, to find the self in order to talk about being yourself.
Just like the heroine of the film, Huazi, when she was 27 years old, in the face of her family's urging to get married, she never really asked herself: Does her heart really want to get married? What kind of life partner does she need? What kind of marriage and family relationship does she want to establish? Does marriage understand the requirements and responsibilities that a person needs to assume? Is she mature enough to make sure she's shouldering it? Is she mentally and physically prepared for marriage?
The 27-year-old Hanako is clearly not mature enough. She agreed to go on a blind date, but in fact, she was only influenced by the traditional social concept of "female eldest marriage", mainly due to the pressure exerted on her by her family.
And so is her family, in accordance with the values advocated by this society, the general public, the so-called life of other people, emphasizing the so-called "what to do at what time", as if that is the only correct answer to life, everyone is afraid to squeeze on a road with trepidation, lest they not keep up with the crowd or be thrown away by the crowd.
In the end, everyone on this path is blurred and their personalities are eliminated, leaving only dogmatically rigid souls, saying to their descendants the words they have been brainwashed into, and then passing them down from generation to generation.
3
Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go around.
If the heroine Hanako is a typical well-behaved woman, then the female second Miki belongs to the "bad girl" who walks the world.
In the context of class-solidified Japanese society, should women with poor births and backgrounds lie flat, or should they actively change their destiny through their own efforts?
Miki TokiOka, the second daughter in "Tokyo Noble Woman", answered.
Miki is from the Japanese town of Yuzu.
Unlike Hanako's rich family background, she came from a commoner family, and by her own efforts, she was admitted to the University of Tokyo and studied English and American literature. She strives to get rid of her poorly economically disadvantaged family of origin and work overseas in order to achieve a class leap.
She studied hard, and the only time she intersected with "inner student" Koichiro in college was when Koichiro borrowed class notes from her.
But no matter how hard she tried, she still couldn't withstand the harsh reality. Fate changes often in an instant. Because her father was unemployed, the family could not afford to pay the tuition, and she had to drop out of school desperately trying to get into college.
In order to make ends meet, she chose to work in nightclubs and wanted to do her best to complete her studies. But it still failed, and the money from the part-time job could not afford to pay the tuition. Fortunately, as luck would have it, she met a guest who introduced herself to a large company and her job stabilized.
Even if they come from a humble background, even if they are admitted to college, they are affected by their original families and have to withdraw from school. But she has always been clear-headed, always fighting for herself, striving upwards, not willing to bow to fate.
The most rare thing is that she has always had a clear understanding and identity of herself.
She clearly knows that there is a huge class gap between her origin and the male protagonist, and she does not fantasize about crossing the family gap at all, falling in love, and marrying into the rich.
The realistic environment in which she grew up made her understand that for women like her, in the eyes of high-society men, she was only a temporary adjustment and pastime, and there was no great love. Even if this illusory love exists, it cannot compete with the harsh reality.
Therefore, she simply believes in herself, relies on her own strength and hands, and strives for a clear and visible future for herself that can be grasped in her hands.
Therefore, when Hanako talked to her, she did not have much mental struggle and agreed to cut off contact with the male protagonist in the future. Her inner feeling is nothing more than the loss of one of her most reliable guests.
In her heart, the most important thing is career and self-development. She has been waiting silently and is good at seizing every opportunity.
4
In this film, the two people who finally let Hanako truly realize her self-awakening are women: one is her good sister Yizi, who is also the strongest and most thorough person in the whole film, and her influence on The awakening of Hanako, a well-behaved girl who has been under the pressure of family education, is huge and far-reaching.
She learned the lesson that her original family brought to her mother: even if the living conditions are superior, those who do not grasp it in their own hands do not count. So she understands that as a woman, financial and spiritual independence is paramount.
The other is the female second Miki. In addition to being a friend, a person can also be an opponent. Although Miki appeared in Hanako's life as a love enemy and opponent, due to Miki's stimulation, it prompted Hanako to reflect on her marriage, compared to the female relatives and well-behaved female classmates who were similar to him, she was more envious of miki's rebellious personality girls, who soberly pursued their own freedom, did not fear or cling to it, and emitted the light of independent women.
What directly inspired her to rethink the meaning of marriage was the news that Miki was ready to start a business with friends. This not only made her think about the meaning of marriage, but also to pursue the value of women outside of marriage.
When Huazi finally realized that in her marriage, the male protagonist had never loved her, the two were nothing more than forced by the responsibility and requirements of the family, and the right marriage object appeared at the right time, this marriage had nothing to do with herself, she was like a tool person, even if it was not her, it would be another family with a famous family and a clean and self-respecting lady.
For women, marriage is ultimately a major personal choice, and what really matters is nothing more than their real feelings.
Huazi's final divorce is not only a rebellion against the strong pressure of the family's will, but also a great spiritual growth after she has experienced marriage and finally realized that this marriage is not suitable for herself, and she has realized the awakening of self-awareness.
At the end, Hanako becomes Yizi's agent, she finds what she really loves, she is very happy, and when she meets her ex-husband again, the ex-husband looks at her with surprise, and at that moment he finds out that all he knows in the past is that she is the big girl, the mask under her family, and her true side, maybe he has never understood.
For Hanako, this is a marriage full of regrets, but it is the best ending. The ex-husband is still the one who has been put in a condom under the pressure of family responsibility and pressure, and she has broken through the cage and regained her life.
Life is short. Finally, I would like to dedicate a quote from Nietzsche to encourage all women to find themselves, face up to their own needs and feelings, listen to their own inner voices, and achieve an ultimate path of self-awakening.
You have to figure out the script of your life, you are not a sequel to your parents, not a prequel to your children, and not your friends. You might as well take a risk with life, because you're going to lose it. - Nietzsche
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