Wen | the original diary of The Little Fish Daddy, welcome to forward and share personally
I was as old as he was...
I don't study well and have no ability, and I don't want him to go my old way...
Everybody came from that time...
Do these words feel familiar? Almost every parent has "considered" the problem for their child from their own point of view, but have you ever tried to listen to your child's voice and see your behavior from their own perspective?
Parents do these things, the child may be very resistant
A teacher interviewed the students in the class and asked them what they least liked mom and dad doing in front of them, and got five answers:
I don't like my parents arguing in front of themselves, talking about grades in front of themselves, talking about their "bad things" in front of themselves, playing with mobile phones in front of themselves, and beating up their mothers in front of themselves.
The "dislike of what parents and mothers do" in children's mouths is exactly what many parents often play in the family.
Couples quarrel, scold, play mobile phones in front of children, these seem to be husband and wife affairs, but in front of children have actually escalated into family language violence and behavioral violence.
And often say that the child's achievements and troubles (bad things) will not play the role of education at all, but will make the child feel degraded and hit, and if it is not corrected, it will ruin the baby's life.
Parents' emotional garbage should not be paid for by children
One day last year, an 11-year-old girl in the Sichuan community jumped from the 29th floor of her home, ending her precious life.
When the police arrived, they learned that the girl jumped off the building because her parents quarreled with her own dissuasion, and when she was sad and panicked, the girl chose to end her life to escape the quarrelsome home.
Poor girl is only 11 years old, dare not imagine how many times she witnessed her parents arguing before jumping off the building, how helpless and desperate she was, and the parents just quarreled over trivial matters, their emotional garbage, and they had to pay for the child's life.
Parents have long been accustomed to small conflicts and quarrels, but they do not know that there is a fatal harm to their children. The scolding and quarreling between parents are like defects imprinted on children.
This misfortune will accompany it for a lifetime, so that the child will live in a dark corner forever, depressed, painful, unable to breathe... Parents quarrel without winning or losing, and the victims are always innocent children.
Parents should know that at any time, children are the most important
In the movie "Heartbeat", the daughter Julie wants to sort out the weeds in the yard, but the family's financial constraints do not allow it, so there is a fierce quarrel between the father and the mother, and the father also slaps the table, which scares the daughter Julie.
Before going to bed at night, Dad apologized to Julie and told her that she needed to pay for her uncle's medicine, so she didn't have money to tidy up the yard, and then Mom also went to Julie's room and told her that Mom actually loved Dad and loved her very much.
Julie understands that mom and dad are not easy to live for, and Julie is proud to have parents like them. At any time, the child is the most important thing in the family, and parents understand and let the child know.
Belittling blows can make children "incompetent"
In "The Boy Says", a girl tearfully accuses her mother of never affirming and praising herself, not seeing the girl's efforts, and always likes to compare her classmates with herself.
Although the girl cried sadly, her mother only calmly said "don't hit, you may drift." This is a typical Representative of Chinese parents, who like to stimulate their children's progress in a way that is demeaning and oppressive, but they do not know that children have no self-confidence.
Most parents don't realize that they can't tell the joke from the facts when they say about their children, so they believe whatever they say and turn this idea into their own.
A few days ago, Fu Jiantao, a child who was abducted and found, did not dare to speak up when he was abducted, because he was not sure whether he was abducted by a bad person or sold by his mother, because Fu Jiantao often said to Xiao Fu Jiantao, "If you don't obey, you will be sold", which is enough to see how deeply the parents' words affect the children.