Author: Insight Autumn
What you lose from the hustle and bustle will eventually be found out of loneliness.
I have a friend who is just over thirty years old, has been working hard in the workplace for several years, feels tired of living, and once invited a university teacher to dinner and asked for advice in person:
"I'm always worried about a lot, afraid of being caught up by this, being left behind by that; sometimes I'm forced to do something I don't like, to meet someone I don't like. I often start to doubt myself because of a word from others. ”
After listening, the teacher took out a pen and paper and wrote four words: Close your heart.
My friend was puzzled: People say to open the heart, why do you want me to close it?
The teacher said that it is like a door, which is open all day long, and the mess of people and things will be found.
Only by closing the door regularly can we leave a clean and resting heart.
Life is always disturbed, and at a certain age, we must learn to "close the heart".
01
Closing the heart is the burden reduction of life.
I've seen a meaningful story.
A group of people rushed forward, and suddenly a person stopped.
The person next to him was strange: "Why don't you leave?" ”
He said, "It's going too fast, the soul is left behind, I have to wait." ”
As Liang Wendao said, impetuousness is the collective disease of this era.
We are always busy all the way and want a bigger house and a better life.
It seems that I have gained a lot, but it is difficult to calm down and forget my original self.
Essayist Lin Qingxuan, who began writing at the age of 17, has won numerous awards in his early 30s.
But this kind of life that many people envy has made him on the verge of mental collapse.
During that time, he gave interviews and participated in activities every day, and his life was always full of endless things.
As the days went by like copy-paste, he felt a kind of exhaustion that he had never felt before.
At this time, Lin Qingxuan suddenly found that he had long been lost in the busyness.
So at the age of 32, he decided to leave everything behind and go into the mountains to rest for a while.
In the mountains, he was far away from the hustle and bustle of the outside world, no longer troubled by complicated affairs.
Every day, listening to the chirping of birds, looking at the mountains and rivers, there is a lot of time to feel life and place yourself.
Soon he was pleasantly surprised to find that his chaotic heart had gained a rare calm.
And those empty and numb days have long been like a world away.
Later, he wrote this insight of his own into the book:
"Qinghuan is the subtraction of life, and when we are far away from the pursuit of the world, we can return to the purest joy."
A lot of confusion and anxiety in life actually stems from not getting a break in the heart.
To close the heart is to build a small spiritual refuge for oneself.
Here, you can temporarily escape the daily routine of walking and slow yourself down.
A room, an afternoon, is a piece of heaven and earth;
Touching a cup of tea and listening to a song is a relief.
When the tight string in your heart is loosened, you also have the power to dissolve impetuousness.
02
Closing the heart is the return of the self.
There is a small conversation, and every time I read it, I feel very emotional.
A and B show off: "I have 3,000 friends on WeChat. ”
B asked, "How many people are responding to you in seconds?" How many people advise you to go to bed early? How many people can talk to you about their hearts? ”
A listened and was silent.
Many times, behind the superficial carnivals of life, there is often a deeper loneliness.
Do you often feel this way:
I have met many people, but their joining has made life more tiring;
When you return home after a meal, you will suddenly feel an inexplicable emptiness.
We are always easily kidnapped by the so-called network of contacts, and the party goes to one scene after another, and the friends add one by one.
But forget that this seemingly lively life is actually the most cruel consumption of life.
As there is a saying on the Internet:
"Do you know your own lack and inadequacy? Have you tried to improve and change?
You're too busy liking, too busy gaging in group chats, and you don't have time.
Too much socializing takes up your attention and robs you of your time with yourself. ”
The cups on the dinner table did not bring people closer to each other, but made us farther away from ourselves.
Instead of wasting your life with unimportant people, it is better to close your heart and get along with yourself.
Comic book master Cai Zhizhong once described his life alone in this way.
There are no phone calls that can come at any time, no messy parties, no complicated relationships.
He could spend a whole day painting a picture, or spend hours thinking about a problem.
Not only will I not feel bored, but I feel that my life is more fulfilling and my heart is much stronger.
Schopenhauer once said that it is only when man is alone that he begins to become himself completely.
Closing the heart for a moment is also the beginning of a person's soul taking root and sprouting.
Spend the whole time doing what you want to do most, enrich your life, and improve yourself.
03
Closing the heart is spiritual maturity.
Are you also a person who is easily disturbed by the outside world?
Maybe someone else's inadvertent glance makes you think left and right, and you can't sleep.
Maybe it's a negative evaluation by someone else, and you start to doubt your own choices and even abilities.
Not to mention the ubiquitous age anxiety and body anxiety in the outside world...
Any little wind and grass will cause a storm in your heart.
If you feel that this is too tiring, you may wish to try to close your heart.
Leave yourself a vacuum and block out those annoying noises.
In the variety show "Thirteen Invitations", Yu Qian once mentioned an experience of his own.
At that time, his partner with Guo Degang was a little famous at first, but he also ushered in a lot of criticism.
Every day he thinks about what he can do so as not to be gossiped about, afraid that everything will collapse now, and falls into deep self-doubt.
Then one day, he suddenly figured it out:
"Living in the world is nothing more than you talking about other people and others talking about you, it's no big deal."
In the following decades, as the Deyun Society became more and more popular, the controversy from the outside world never faded.
But what is different is that those criticisms or rumors can no longer touch him in the slightest.
When there is a performance, he prepares carefully and strives to perform every performance to the best.
Idle, just tease the birds at home, go to the suburbs for a holiday, do not read Weibo, and never pay attention to right and wrong.
The writer Hideko Yamashita once divided people into three types according to their personality level:
People creeping on the ground are always entangled in the perception of the outside world and depressed;
People who climb trees, aware of the importance of living themselves, are always hesitant;
People who fly can not be bound by external objects, and obey the heart in everything, so they can overlook the world and sail freely.
To close your heart is to be a "man on an airplane" in this complicated world.
Do not cater to the standards of the outside world, not be coerced by the evaluation of others, do not worry, do not blindly follow.
Just listen to your own inner voice, only care about your own growth and progress.
After all, this world is your own world after all.
Throughout your life, you need to please and cater to yourself.
▽
In Jin Yong's novels, a special way of cultivation often appears, called retreat.
Masters who have been hit hard or feel bottlenecks often find a secluded place and practice for months.
After coming out, the power will soon return to the original, and even improve by leaps and bounds.
In life, the real practice is not to step into the mountains, but to cultivate the hedges and plant chrysanthemums in the heart.
When you're tired, when you're confused and helpless, try to close your mind temporarily.
Give your heart a little time, let it breathe freely and grow freely.
Soon you will find that those questions that cannot be thought through and cannot be solved have answers.