Author | May source | Ten O'Clock Reading (ID: duhaoshu)
Ending song: Xie Weiling - I think of you again
Comfortable, in fact, is a very vain word.
We rarely use the word "comfortable" to evaluate a person's personality traits.
But finally think about it, why do you like to associate with a person?
In fact, it is because when you get along with him, you are very comfortable, very comfortable, no hypocrisy, no defense, and you are not tired at all.
In this life, people will encounter too many bad things, and in the matter of choosing people to intersect, do not wronged yourself, you must choose a comfortable person.
A comfortable relationship that doesn't have to be pandered to, no need to please
In this world, there is a kind of person who lives the most tired.
When dealing with others, often put yourself in a lower position.
Especially concerned about other people's evaluation of themselves, always habitually hiding their own preferences, dare not refuse others' requests, afraid of conflict with others.
In order to meet the expectations and needs of others for themselves, they constantly wronged themselves and worked hard.
But in the end, the more people who cater to and please others, the more they will not be valued by others.
As Tu Lei said: "Tiptoeing to love someone is very unrealistic." ”
The toes will be mat for a long time, the legs will be numb, the person will be tired, and your love will become your burden.
The person who can really get along with you for a long time will always appreciate your free and independent appearance, not your pretending to be humble and flattering.
The most comfortable relationship between people is that you don't have to deliberately pretend to be what the other person likes, you just need to be yourself.
You can show your truest side in front of the other person's eyes, cry when you want to cry, laugh when you want to laugh, and don't worry about whether the other party will misunderstand you and alienate you because of some of your words and deeds.
The more I grow up, the more I like this feeling: friendship or love, and I don't want to please anyone anymore.
Whoever is comfortable with you is with whomever you are. If you get tired together, stay away.
You like me, I like you, we're all together, not forcing ourselves to be with people who don't like me.
Comfortable relationship, even silence is comfortable
I don't know if you've ever had such an experience.
Sometimes I go to some parties, where there are some people who don't know each other or don't know at all, don't talk, it's awkward to be silent with each other, talk, and don't know what to talk about, it's also very embarrassing.
In the end, they could only play with their mobile phones, thinking in their hearts that it was better to stay at home alone, silently praying in their hearts that time would pass quickly.
And a really comfortable relationship should not be like this.
The best thing to get along with is that even silence is very comfortable.
When you stay together, you don't have to deliberately think about the topic, you want to say, you want to talk like the water of the Yellow River, you can't stop talking, I can't wait for time to slow down.
When you don't want to talk or don't have a topic to talk about for a while, you do your own thing, you watch your play, I read my book, don't interfere with each other, each is beautiful.
As Gu Cheng's poem describes:
"The grass is bearing its seeds, the wind is shaking its leaves, and it is very beautiful for us to stand without speaking."
The relationship between two people should be a blessing of energy, not a burden.
A comfortable relationship is the convergence of three views
People at different levels have no way to communicate, and people with different views are difficult to get along with.
There is such a story.
Two people went to climb the mountain, and the person who climbed to the top of the mountain said to the person who had only climbed halfway up the mountain, on the opposite side of the mountain, was an endless sea, blue sea and blue sky, and the breeze was coming, which was so beautiful.
The person who only climbed to the middle of the mountain retorted that you nonsense, the opposite side of the mountain, obviously still a mountain.
Standing in a different position, the world seen is different, and people at different levels are difficult to communicate with no matter how hard they work.
Another story.
You saved up money for a year, signed yourself up for a very expensive tour group, and had a great time sharing it with your friends.
The original intention was to share his happiness and insights with his friends, but he opened his mouth: "After a year of hard work, it will be spent in a few days, and you will not be able to live a life, or save some." ”
In fact, standing on his three views, what he said was also correct.
It's just that everyone's three views are different, the valuation of everything is different, and the threshold for getting happiness is also different.
We can't ask everyone to agree with our views, but we can choose to spend the rest of our lives with people with the same three views.
You love to read, don't worry about the other party saying that you are elegant;
You love to send a circle of friends, don't be afraid of the other party saying that you love to show off;
You love sports, don't worry about the other party saying that you are fake self-discipline;
......
You only need to follow your own heart and use the three views you believe in to treat people, the three views are the same, then go together for a while, the Tao is different, then it is not a conspiracy.
It's good that no one should be treated.
A comfortable relationship is that I understand your desire to stop talking
I have seen this sentence:
No one cares how you cry in the middle of the night, no one cares that you have to toss and turn to stay up for a few autumns, outsiders only look at the results, and support the process by yourself.
When you understand this truth, you will not be pretentious in front of people and talk around for relief.
Indeed it is.
In our lives, most can only accept your bright and strong side.
You don't dare to complain easily, the state of life is different, and your suffering may not be felt by others.
Say too much, others will think that you are arrogant, disgusted with you for spreading negative energy.
So, you can only grit your silver teeth, force yourself, be strong, be optimistic, and live every day full of vitality.
However, sometimes, life will really give you a merciless blow, you can't escape, you can't escape.
You also want to have someone who understands you,
Know the helplessness behind your arrogance, understand your unknown sorrows, and pity you to stand strong.
When you are lonely, helpless, sad, borrow one of your shoulders or a warm hug, hug you, and tell you, it's okay, cry if you want to, I'm here, it will pass.
The inviolable heart is often defeated by a simple comfort, a disguise of invulnerable knives and guns, and often completely surrenders in front of people who understand you.
No matter how much suffering life is, it will become insignificant in front of those who understand you.
The rest of my life is not long, I just want to be with comfortable people
As I grew older, I felt more and more:
The best way to get along, the measure is comfort.
There is no intrigue, and there is no need to guard against each other. You know my difficulties, and I understand your hardships.
Life is already very tired, don't force yourself anymore to run an uncomfortable relationship.
In the second half of life, learn to break up interpersonal relationships.
Stay away from those whose three views are inconsistent, who do not understand us, and who need our efforts to please.
In this process, although some people and some relationships will be lost, those who have accepted all your three views, small emotions, joys and sorrows, and still stay by your side are the most cherished existences in your life.
Click [Watching], the rest of your life is not long, please be with someone who is comfortable with you.
About the author: May, the little kitchen lady who lives by flowers, walks around and eats, gives you a little earthly warmth, ten o'clock junren. This article was first published at Ten Point Reading (ID: duhaoshu), more than 28 million people subscribed to the national reading big, please contact the original author for reprinting.
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