Yi said that the gathering place for women's growth, may you not wear armor, you can resist thousands of life is not easy, welcome attention.
"Zhou Sheng As Old" and "One Life and One Life", I prefer "Zhou Sheng As Old", and then went to see it again, and saw that Zhou Shengchen told Shi Yi that it was not easy for Xiaoyu to be a general in the military camp, and suddenly touched the nerves in the depths of his heart, and he actually burst into tears.
Shi Yi went to Zhou Shengchen's camp and saw the other side of Master Sister Xiaoyu, which was completely different from the treatment she saw in the palace. Zhou Shengchen explained: "It is much more difficult for a female general to lower her subordinates than a man. Zhou Shengchen's sentence is much more difficult, through thousands of years in reality, without the slightest sense of violation.
Although it is difficult for the master sister to be a female general, Zhou Shengchen and the brothers and sisters, and even those soldiers can see Xiaoyu's efforts and efforts, and do not regard her as a fertility tool or a woman who depends on others to survive.
Revisiting this drama again, taking this point as a clue, you will find that both Shi Yi and the master sister xiao shi sister in the play have done the same thing, which may also be Zhou Shengchen's attitude, so that the entire royal palace has a different view of women's values in that era.
Shi Yi was a noble daughter of the family, because the identity of the princess lived in the royal palace for many years, and even so, she found something she could do, and it was meaningful and valuable. She wanted to stay in the palace, even if she could not marry Zhou Shengchen, and she told her mother that she would be like her uncle and would spend her whole life in the royal palace library to sort out and copy the classics. This is probably the best destination for her to find her own value and not waste her life, but unfortunately she can't fulfill her wish.
This is the embodiment of the self-worth of the time, so what about the master sister and the little master sister? Xiaoyu told Shi Yi that she was probably either killed in battle or died in the camp of the Wang Army. This is Xiaoyu's positioning of self-worth, and so is The Little Master Sister. Zhou Shengchen said that she was a martial arts wizard, and did not stick to her as a woman, but let her ride on the battlefield to make a contribution, and she finally became with this territory.
They may be a life of regret in the eyes of others, but for themselves, there is no regret in this life, because they know what kind of person they want to be and choose to do what they want to do.
We often say that we want to be a better self, so what is a better self?
The best answer I've ever seen is: even you yourself are getting more and more like yourself, more and more admiring of yourself.
People are eager to be recognized and seen, but just let others see the recognition, doomed to be panicked, tangled, is pale and powerless, only they like themselves, they know their own value, that is, have a sense of self-worth, in order to make themselves truly respected.
Just like Xiaoyu and Fengqiao stood in front of those palace ladies, they were not inferior in the slightest, so that those noble ladies admired and gave them a bow.
So, does a woman have to go out and do things to gain respect and reflect self-worth? Not really. Shi Yi, Xiaoyu and FengQiao, they first approve of what they do, so they work harder and finally gain the respect and recognition of others.
Charlotte Brontë, author of Jane Eyre, said: "The more lonely I am, the more unsupported I am, the more respect I have for myself." ”
Whether you have a sense of self-worth determines whether your heart has the power to meet all reality, and whether you can be respected. In "The Female Psychologist," one of Horton's clients, the counselor, is a stay-at-home mom.
She described her situation to Horton as a free nanny at home, her mother-in-law was critical of her husband's indifference, no one saw her hard work, and she was dismissed from work after giving birth, and she fell into the abyss of pain. Is this really the case? When Horton helped her re-sort out her state, she found that her mother-in-law was not so harsh, and her husband was not calling for her to drink.
So why was she so miserable? Because she lost her sense of self-worth. That is to say, when she was dismissed and forced to return to her family, she was reluctant, and she also believed that she was a free nanny as a full-time wife, and that she had lost her ability to work after giving birth to a child, which led her to believe that she had no value.
Because there is no value, a common question from the mother-in-law's husband will also be considered a question and reprimand, and others will think that they look down on themselves with a casual look.
There is a passage in the "Record of the Mountain Moon": "I was deeply afraid that I was not a beautiful jade, so I did not dare to think about it hard, but I half believed that I was a piece of beautiful jade, so I refused to be mediocre and be with the rubble." So I gradually became detached from the mortal world, alienated from the world, and as a result, a sense of resentment and shame increasingly fueled the weak self-esteem in my heart. ”
This is probably the state of a person when he loses his sense of self-worth, entangled, hesitant, fearful and strong.
The sense of self-worth seems unattainable and untouchable, but it is also very simple to land. That is, you have a clear positioning of yourself and know what kind of person you are; you have a firm plan for yourself, and you know the value and significance of what you do; you have enough insight into yourself and will identify your own needs and desires; you have recognition and appreciation for yourself, and you are not arrogant or blindly confident.
Therefore, for a woman, whether she is living with a job or taking care of the family full-time, what matters is how she sees herself and whether the sense of self-worth in her heart has always been there.
Just like shi yi asked the master sister, what can you do when you are old? Xiaoyu told Shi Yi that even if he was old and could not take the soldiers out on the expedition, he could still feed the horses, wash the horses, or do cleaning and other work, as long as he could stay in wang jun, he could do anything.
Fate may not give you the script you want, but you can make yourself like yourself and become who you want to be. Even if this goal is far away, I believe that there will be an echo of the memory.
(The pictures are from the screenshots of the TV series "Zhou Sheng As It Was" and "Female Psychologist", if there is infringement, please contact to delete)