We Chinese family affection! Blood is thicker than water! Many parents have worked hard all their lives to hope that their children can live well, and parents are willing to give their best things to their children free of charge.
But although these parents pay a lot for their children, some children do not "buy it", and even parent-child conflicts will occur? This made parents puzzled, and even sighed and asked: What did I do wrong?
In fact, there is no hatred or resentment between parents and children, it may just be that the communication method is wrong, and the things that parents think are very right have become unacceptable to the children.
For example, many parents often do these 5 behaviors, it is easy to make children disgusted!
1
Parents are always kidnapping
In many families, parents will say in the face of their children's disobedience and children's rebellion: Are you worthy of me when you do this? As everyone knows, such a word is very harmful to the child, and in the eyes of the parents, the child can only be regarded as "worthy of the parents" if he does this.
For example: exams are the first; you have to do what I say; you have to listen to me when you make friends. In fact, this practice will either make the child become guilty and ashamed, or trigger a conflict between parents and children!
2
Parents always apologize and shirk their responsibilities
For example, the child is suspected of stealing money by the parents, and finally finds that the child has been wronged, and indeed apologizes to the child: we did wrong, but we will always add a sentence: "If you were not in that strong word, we would not suspect you."
"Dad thinks it's wrong to hit you just now, but if you hadn't been arguing there, I wouldn't have done it."
Shirking responsibility type apologies, superficially apologizing, actually accusing.
Even if the part of the apology is sincere, the child will not feel the apology of the parents because of the accusations in the additional conditions of the apology, and may have antagonistic emotions as a result.
3
Parents love face too much
Some parents are really "good face", they always use their children as a capital to show off, so that their children bear a lot of pressure for no reason, "you must be stronger than so-and-so next door", "you have to behave well, you can't shame me".
As everyone knows, parents love face too much, the pain is the child, forcing the baby to compete in the process, will make it sensitive, insecure, parents shout that the child should be excellent, in fact, is to cover up their own vanity, comparison of the heart!
4
Parents only look at the grades and ignore the children's feelings
Chinese parents always feel that learning is the most important thing in their children's growth, and grades can determine everything. The child has taken the test well, buy this and buy that for the child; the child does not do well in the test, and angrily accuses the child of being useless!
To know that the level of the score does not mean the level of a child's ability, but personality, quality is the key to determining whether to go long-
And parents rarely listen to the real thoughts and needs of the child's heart, and the pressure and troubles that the child pours out are just moaning without illness in their eyes, and over time it will only make the parent-child relationship more and more indifferent.
5
Parents protect their children too well
Parents love their children is beyond reproach, but we must control it well, and some parents always complain that they suffer and suffer, save money and pay with thrift, and the result is thankless.
In fact, the real love of children is to know how to let go, let children experience the bittersweet and bittersweet of life, do not let children just be flowers in the greenhouse, only through setbacks, children can really get exercise and thrive!
Some people say that the greatest sorrow of Chinese parents is to give all their efforts, but they cannot raise a grateful child.
This is because parents will pay as an obligation, children will take it for granted, over time, parents are willing to be squeezed dry by their children, but in the end they find that they have a "white-eyed wolf".
Excessive effort does not help the child's self-development, but hinders the child's psychological growth.
In fact, we parents may wish to put aside anxiety, abandon some stereotypes, try to have an equal dialogue with our children, listen to their children's voices, teach and grow with their children, and build a harmonious and happy parent-child relationship!