I'm sorry, but I didn't try my best

Today, when I look back on my study career, I often have regrets, small junior high school in Guilin, with their own level of will, academics are relatively hard, and then went to Peking University, but there was some slack, failed to do their best, every time I think about this, my heart is full of mixed feelings.

I must admit that at Peking University, I am a bottom scumbag, barely able to do not make up the exam, do not think about what to do research or study abroad. It is true that personal goals are not clear, learning efficiency is low, and it is impossible to do their best on the basis of themselves and strive for a future for the individual.

In fact, in an excellent university, the atmosphere is very important, surrounded by students who are basically trying to study, but at that time, they were relatively immature, and they were not confident in their IQ, major, future ,,, many projects, and they were not confident and mature, and as a result, the college time was somewhat wasted. I also often go to the evening self-study, and on the weekend, I also go to the minor of the law college, do not care about love, do not run away from class, that is, sometimes feel that some classes are not interesting, read novels. Self-restraint, self-life planning and design, extreme lack, my brain thinking ability has been stuck at the level of the third year of high school, and there has been no significant increase during college.

Life did not start again, many years later, I am repeatedly having similar dreams, dreaming of my second college entrance examination, and then admitted to Peking University, a few times I realized that I want to enroll in another university, dream of high school stage of study, the specific score of the college entrance examination again, psychological changes struggle,,, like actual experience, clear. Sometimes in the dream I know that I have taken the college entrance examination again, I have already read the contradiction of the university once, the inner subconscious unwillingness, regret, appear in the dream again and again, sometimes, I also dream again of the university campus, a few acquaintances of the same class,,,

Hey, sorry for myself, I didn't try my best, college was the last stage of my study career, leaving a lot of regrets. This also determined that in my later working life, my goals were not clear, I lacked planning for the future, and I did not consciously improve my personal ability in my daily life. Of course, there are accidents, in just two years of work, during the period of leaving the job, the body and mind experienced a baptism of spiritual enlightenment, some went crazy, and the body no longer allowed high-intensity struggle.

Today I am deeply aware that there are too many people who have surpassed me, and I just need to work hard to surpass myself yesterday and continue to struggle. For example, losing weight now, lighter than the other day, is my success and progress. I compare myself to the sun at three o'clock in the afternoon, and now I am loose and collapsed, I can't talk about how to work hard, but I don't compare with others, I want to compare with myself, have spare time, try to be full, these years, dream back to college, the regret dream of the college entrance examination is rarely done, maybe it is older, maybe it is a wide heart, maybe it is really reconciled with the self, and I am a little satisfied with the current life.

There are not many means of earning money, earning money is needed, the family is important, self-reflection and reflection are common, willpower is insufficient, constantly lowering requirements, and every other period of vigilance, change. When I was in my forties, my career was basically fixed, and I could only read more meaningful books in my spare time, write something, sharpen my thinking, improve my pen, and most of the others were just for the sake of life.

Let me add some fire to myself again, not to say try my best, but to try to add a little demand to myself, the afternoon sun, or can bring warmth to people, for myself, is also a kind of responsibility, less regrets.

Sorry, once in life, there was no corresponding struggle, no corresponding success, but I must often think, urge myself, to struggle again, sorry for these three words, I have to transform, try these three words again.

For the sake of his own decades, although he did not give up late, the old Ji Futuo, determined to be in a thousand miles.