Children are fragile little lives, we often say, can not scold children, can not be violent treatment of children, but, cold violence, the same can not.
See if you have the following five types of cold violence:
1
When a child calls you, don't respond to the child
This situation generally occurs when parents are busy, or they are immersed in their own affairs, inadvertently ignoring the call of the child, and some are simply impatient with the child and deliberately pretend not to exist.
Adverse consequences: Children are neglected, will use clingy, naughty and destructive behavior to attract the attention of parents, or give up the attention of parents, parent-child relationship to estrangement.
Correct: When you are busy, or are already impatient, the child calls you and asks you to respond in time, even if it is like this: Dad/Mom is a little busy now, come to accompany you later, okay? Mom/Dad has a bit of an emergency at hand, wait a little while for me, okay?
Please note that when responding to your child, please look at your child and give a positive answer.
2
Be angry with the child, ignore him, give him color to see
Most of this situation occurs when the child is naughty and makes a mistake, and the anger of the parents is not dissipated, at this time, many parents choose to deliberately refuse to respond to the child to show punishment.
Adverse consequences: Children may not realize that the reason for their parents' indifference is related to their own wrong behavior, and cannot effectively reflect on their mistakes, but due to the parents' indifferent behavior, they have a sense of insecurity and trust, which affects the parent-child relationship.
The right thing to do: Look into the child's eyes and calmly say to the child, because of the mistake you just made, I am angry and need to calm myself for a while, I hope you also think about what you did wrong, and apologize to get my forgiveness, before getting my forgiveness, I need to stay by myself for a while.
3
Get along with your child with emotions and reject suggestions from your child
Adverse consequences: Children have no way of understanding the reasons behind your negative emotions, they will be attributed to their own reasons, or parents do not love themselves, resulting in a lack of self-confidence, negative evaluation of themselves and feelings of guilt, affecting the child's physical and mental health.
The right thing to do: forget other bad emotions that have nothing to do with the child, cherish the good time with the child, fully devote yourself to the activities with the child, show interest and enthusiasm, and praise the child's whimsy in time.
4
Playing with children on the surface, but in fact absent-minded
Many parents will be in this state when accompanying their children, watching TV, looking down at the mobile phone, looking like they are accompanying their children, but they are actually absent-mindedly coping with their children.
Adverse consequences: Children will imitate this way of doing things, resulting in decreased concentration, affecting learning, and will imitate this pattern of behavior with people, thus forming bad social habits, and will use this pattern to treat their children and families when they grow up.
The right approach: either do not accompany the child, if accompanied, you must be high-quality, full-body companionship. If it is true that you cannot accompany your child for a while, then tell your child that there is something to do now, and come later to accompany him to gain the child's understanding.
5
After the child makes a mistake, he apologizes, and the parent directly refuses or treats it with indifference
In this case, it is generally the parents' anger that has not subsided, they cannot control their emotions, and they want to continue to punish their children.
Adverse consequences: Children are children, mistakes are normal, perfection is abnormal. And it is not easy for children to recognize mistakes and apologize, because children have limited cognitive ability, limited self-control, and strong self-esteem. If mom and dad can't give a positive response, the child will question his or her own mistakes and take responsibility, affecting the handling of similar problems in the future. Or cause the child to be too immersed in self-blame and guilt and cannot extricate himself, affecting physical and mental health.
The right thing to do: In this case, parents should give a positive response in time, telling children that it is good behavior to change mistakes, and it is great to be able to take responsibility and apologize for their mistakes with courage. Positive encouragement and guidance for children.
Psychologists believe that in family education, cold violence is a very terrible behavior, and its harm is threefold:
1. Children who have suffered from long-term indifference are prone to a withdrawn personality, unwilling to communicate with others, and cannot develop psychologically healthily;
2, children will also become very indifferent in the subtle, indifferent to others, and may even become the passer of the "baton" of cold violence;
3. When these children grow up, they may also have corresponding obstacles in dealing with their own family problems.
Please Mom and Dad, change their daily cold violence, sunny, positive, positive, focused to accompany and guide their children!
Disclaimer: This article is from the "Network" and is reproduced for the purpose of transmitting information and learning.
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