1. The wife and husband quarrel and sleep in separate rooms. In the middle of the night, my wife quietly came in with a pair of scissors, cut a big hole in the mosquito net, and said to herself: Let the mosquitoes bite you! An hour later, the wife came again

1. The wife and husband quarrel and sleep in separate rooms. In the middle of the night, my wife quietly came in with a pair of scissors, cut a big hole in the mosquito net, and said to herself: Let the mosquitoes bite you! An hour later, the wife came again and took the tape to glue the mosquito net. My husband was very touched: my wife knife mouth tofu heart, or it hurt me a lot! Just when I wanted to say something, I listened to my wife say to myself: The mosquitoes are almost in, and they can't let them run... 

2. 5. Couples especially like to play mahjong. One day, the neighbor Liu Brother was on the rise. His wife broke in, pointed at his nose and scolded: "Rice is not cooked, pigs are not fed, and they know how to play mahjong all day long!?" After a burst of scolding, Brother Liu slipped back in ashes. Watching him walk away, his wife sat down and asked, "Whose house is it?" ”

3. My sister-in-law was in a bad mood, so I contacted my friend and spent more than 100,000 yuan to buy her a Hermès bag! My sister-in-law was particularly happy after receiving the bag and went directly to the kitchen to make me a big meal. I asked my niece who watched the cartoon: Little one, did you give your mother a gift? Niece: Yes, I gave my mom a gift with my dad, and my mom was very happy! Curiously, I asked: What gift was given? Niece: I turned over my dad's private money and handed it to my mom...

4. After graduating from university, he went to Huawei as a director in a factory. It has created three hundred million yuan in revenue for the factory, and received more than three million in year-end awards. When I got home, I took my girlfriend to a barbecue. Halfway through the meal she suddenly said, "Let's change our positions!" I glanced at the tabletop, swept the garbage in front of her to my side, and said, "Okay, let's eat, no one will think you've eaten too much!" ”

5. When I was a child, I liked to watch martial arts dramas, our class teacher was very beautiful, and her surname was Dragon, and we all called her Little Dragon Girl. Once I was in trouble and was notified of a parent talk. As soon as Dad entered the office, he apologized and said: Little Dragon Girl Teacher, I am a child! How the eagle makes you angry! Everyone else is a pit daddy, and when I come here, I'm a pit son. Since then, the name of eagle has accompanied me throughout my elementary school years.

6. The girlfriend and her husband are very close, and now they are four years old, and they have been sleeping with their husbands. The husband company has a little problem, may not come back at night, the girlfriend has been making trouble, but still coaxed to sleep. The next morning, the girl peed the window, and my husband returned home, and I told my husband about the window of urine. The husband looked at the girlfriend and said: So big and still pee the window, are you ashamed? The girlfriend said aggrievedly: That's not pee, you didn't come back last night, I think you cried, and the sheets were wet.

7. The first time I saw the old man, I was more nervous and behaved very diligently. After eating, I quickly and diligently helped to clean up the dishes. Busy, the old man walked slowly with a toothpick and said: Boy, the first time you get home, you will do housework, and you must not be tired in the future. I listened to a smile on my face, and just about to say two words, the old man said: Go, put on your coat and play mahjong with me...?

8. Two days ago, I went home and found that my brother had found a female anchor as a girlfriend. After dating for a while, my brother took him home to meet his family. After eating, Grandpa helped them both to calculate, looked at Grandpa GuaXiang and shook his head and said, That female brother, everyone laughed awkwardly. Then my mother took 100,000 yuan to my brother and said: Don't be afraid, buy more Nike to wear, buy a better quality, Nike time is long! Anyway I didn't hold back, laughing stomach ache!

9. My dad went to the hospital and had three teeth. My mom cleaned up the house, pointed to a hanging wire and asked if there was electricity? My dad said there was no electricity. My mom took the big scissors and hinged the wires. Suddenly, lightning and thunder burst forth, and my mother gave me a heel. My dad came in and saw my mom being electrocuted and laughed heartbroken. My mom got up and gave him a right hook punch! Just now the doctor said to have three teeth!

10. Obviously cheated by the online girlfriend, heartbroken, life can not be loved. Talked about a girlfriend online, talked for half a year, and cheated me of more than twenty thousand yuan. I was heartbroken and devastated, and I planned to jump off the building and take my life. After a newly divorced big brother came, he persuaded me: I don't want to live after being cheated by a girl? It's just a bad woman who cheated on you, is it worth it for you to jump off a building for a bad woman? As soon as I listened, I didn't want to live anymore: I tell you, there are no good girls in this world! Said the eldest brother and I sat together.?

11. On my wedding day, my father personally opened the door to send me to my mother-in-law's house. Usually 20 minutes away Dad drove for an hour. I asked Dad, "Dad, how come you drive so slowly!" Dad said, "I'm driving so slowly because I want to stay with you a little longer." I kissed him several times, and then talked to my father about this matter, and my father said: "At that time, I felt that the back was too heavy, and I couldn't hold my head in the direction, for our safety, we could only drive slowly!" ”

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