Late at night, I asked my daughter, "What about your father and sister-in-law?" Daughter: "They are in the house, Daddy wants to take off Auntie's skirt, Auntie doesn't want to, Daddy has to take it off, you can take a look!" ”

Late at night, I asked my daughter, "What about your father and sister-in-law?" ”

Daughter: "They are in the house, Daddy wants to take off Auntie's skirt, Auntie is not willing, Daddy has to take it off, you can see it!" ”

I was shocked and quickly kicked open the bedroom door, which was empty.

The daughter pointed to the kitchen: "There! ”

I ran to the kitchen with lightning speed and was about to get angry.

I saw my husband pulling on my sister's apron and saying, "Quick, take off the apron, in our house, how can I let you cook!" ”

2 An uncle worth tens of millions is married to a flight attendant. A month after marriage, I asked my uncle: How about after marriage? My uncle took out two iPhones, which I was very envious of. Me: Uncle! You mean now you're richer, used to have only one iPhone, now has two! Uncle cried: This is my phone, this is your aunt's phone, and now the money on my mobile phone Alipay, half of the score comes out to your aunt!

3 Because I charged the wrong 500 yuan phone bill, I met my boyfriend. After we had been dating for half a year, I took him home to meet my parents. After dinner, my boyfriend drove home. As soon as he left on his front foot, my brother complained to me: Sister, why are you looking for such an ugly boyfriend? I just wanted to refute it, but Dad spoke slowly and logically: Although this young man looks ugly, don't you feel that your sister has taken advantage?

4 I recently became the secretary of the female manager, and when I was her secretary, I learned that he played games in the office every day. Recently, every time the female manager played the game, she was suspicious of the mobile phone card, and she breathlessly said: "Broken mobile phone, and then throw away the card like this!" "Tell you, just for this sentence, I waited silently next to her for 1 month, buying her water every time. Today she said that she was going to throw away the mobile phone, and I was angry but theorized with her: "You say it every day, you say it every day, but throw it away!" The female manager glared at me and said, "I don't say that, can you circle around me every day?" ”

5 My brother took the train to a business trip and met his ex-girlfriend who had been separated for five years! But her brother was sitting next to her, and she kept staring at him. Five minutes later she whispered, "You look a lot like my previous boyfriend, but he's richer than you and usually travels by plane." The brother said awkwardly: Sister, you recognize the wrong person, but I have a friend who has traveled by plane before, but unfortunately found a loser lady as a girlfriend, and then spent all the money! The ex-girlfriend suddenly felt a little embarrassed!

6 That night I went to Haidilao with my boyfriend to eat hot pot, and waited in line for more than 2 hours to finally get our turn. After taking a seat, I found that the next table was the boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, and she smiled at him and said: Such a coincidence! The boyfriend obviously didn't want to see her and said to me: Let's not eat and let's go! As an excellent high emotional intelligence, I immediately said: why not eat, she is so fat and still eating.

7 Shortly after entering the new company, I recognized a master. Although he is in his forties, he especially likes to surf the Internet, and some wonderful words often pop up in his mouth. I went to the supermarket with him that day and saw a young girl. He bucketed me: "You see, there's a maiden there. I said, "How is the maiden's quantifier a piece?" He said, "It feels exquisite isn't it?" Girls are delicate creatures. I nodded sympathetically. Soon he barreled me again and said, "Look, there's a lump of women there. ”

8 Today I made sweet and sour ribs, and the neighbor's 10-year-old child came to my house to play. The child said: Uncle, the rice you cook is not delicious at first glance. I said, "It's delicious." The child said: I don't believe it, unless you let me taste a bowl, I will not know. A small bowl was eaten, and I asked: Is it delicious? The bear boy said: If you want me to praise you for the delicious food, you have to bring me another bowl.

9 My mother-in-law was over fifty years old, and she had children when she was old, and she gave birth to a little uncle for me. Now that the little uncle is in elementary school, he is not attentive when writing homework, and his father-in-law is going to fight when he raises his hand. The mother-in-law hurriedly stopped and said: "Children are still young, and they should focus on criticism and education." The father-in-law began to say bitterly: "Son, you look at your father, from a young age to study seriously, work hard, only to marry your mother..." Speaking of this, he suddenly stopped, and was stunned for a long time before saying: "I think this is a negative teaching material, don't scare the child." ”

10 My father started a car repair, used to repair the tires of the big cars, and when I was in the first grade, he had to learn to swim. The teacher told us to go back and ask the parents to buy the children a foam swimming ring. As a result, my father filled the air with the inner tube of a large car and asked me to take it over. As a result, all the children are scrambling to play, and everyone wants their parents to buy one. So my father built more than 100 of these swimming rings that year and earned 500,000 yuan and bought 20 houses in Shanghai! 

11 Just had appendix surgery, and a small nurse was responsible for changing the dressing and giving injections during the hospital observation period. Close-fitting coat slender figure flesh-colored stockings, wearing a mask to expose the double Dan phoenix eyes, elegant and not losing sexy, every time she appears in front of me, it makes me feel excited, unconsciously remembering the romantic bridge in the love movie, the monotonous tone of the hospital, in my eyes have become pink.

One day the little nurse angrily came to my bedside and asked, "Why are you complaining about me?" He also said to our director, if you don't let me enter your ward again, what did I do wrong? This month's bonus for this month also failed. ”

I said with a real and fake floor face: "Blame you for being so beautiful, every time I see you nervous, the wound of the appendix surgery will definitely collapse, once or twice, even if it is three times a day, who can stand it, other nurses ask for money for my service, you serve me, it is fatal!" Are you supposed to compensate me? ”

Hearing me say this, the little nurse's Dan Feng's eyes were bent with a smile and asked me softly: "Then you say, how do you want me to pay?" ”

I frowned and said, "It's better to stay with me for the rest of my life!" ”

Now, I have been properly compensated and she has become the mother of my child!

#年度搞笑名场面 #