How to educate spoiled children

Children grow up in wealthy families, they are often surrounded by superior living environments, and the degree of pampering is often more serious than that of ordinary children. There is no doubt that spoiled children are children living in special circumstances. Some find it much easier to teach spoiled children than it is to teach the children of poor families in our first "children's homes" or orphans who survived the earthquake in Messina. But this is not the case at all, material affluence often brings them spiritual emptiness, ordinary small things and quiet landscapes are often ignored by them, and the things that fascinate poor children do not arouse their interest, and they do not choose the goods that meet their needs. For example, when teachers hand out delicate toys to children, children from poor families will rush to run over. Children from wealthy families will not be like children from poor families, because they are tired of playing with these delicate toys, and children of rich families will be slightly slower to respond to the stimuli provided to them. An American teacher made this description:

"Those spoiled children like to grab things from each other, and they argue constantly about it. If I wanted to reward one child with something, the other children would throw away what they had in their hands and surround me. After a while, when I took out another item and gave it to a child, they all threw away their belongings and surrounded them. They go from one object to another, and they don't have any feelings of attachment to anything. In many cases, the children behave spontaneously, they just run all over the house, they touch the table, they knock down the chair, they step on the materials provided for them, but they don't care at all about the consequences of doing so. Sometimes, they would stop somewhere and just run away and pick up another item, but then throw it away again for no reason. ”

A French teacher wrote to me: "My teaching is a failure, and I must admit it. These children have no patience in doing anything, and they can only concentrate on a matter for a few minutes at most. When a child picks up an object, other people want it too, and they run around like a flock of sheep. Sometimes they even rolled on the floor and knocked down chairs. ”

A teacher at a school in Rome that caters to children from wealthy families said to me, "The thing we care about most is discipline. These children make a mess of their studies and do not accept guidance from their teachers. ”

What should teachers do in the face of children from such wealthy families?

That France? The teacher told us about her teaching experience: after a few days, the children who did not pay attention to the objects at first slowly became interested in these things, and they began to move freely. If a child is attracted to an object, his attention is not distracted by other things. The children began to search for items of interest to them.

I once tried to use almost everything in school to interest a child, but it didn't work at all. But inadvertently, I showed him two red and blue writing pads and told him to distinguish between the two colors. He seemed to have been waiting for them as soon as he happily accepted them, and as a result, in the course of a lesson, he quickly became acquainted with the five colors. In the days that followed, he picked up all the things he hadn't been interested in in the past, and slowly he became interested in all the things that had color.

One child begins to be very inattentive and can't do anything for long, but when he is interested in a more complex calculator, he is no longer as impatient as before. For a whole week, by constantly fiddling with this thing, he actually learned to count and calculate simple additions. Then he started playing with some of the simpler things again, and finally he became interested in everything.

So, I've summed it up this way: Once a child finds something that interests them, he becomes focused and forgets about the unstable situation.

The French teacher also gave the following example of evoking the personality of children: "There was a pair of sisters, a three-year-old sister who did things without personality, and imitated her five-year-old sister in almost everything. The sister is only full of curiosity and enthusiasm for the things that her sister is interested in, she is like her sister's ass, she will follow her wherever her sister goes, what her sister does she will imitate what her sister does, if her sister eats oranges, her sister will only eat oranges, and nothing else will eat; if her sister has a blue brush, her sister must have a blue brush exactly the same as her sister, if she can't achieve such a wish, she will be unhappy until she also has a blue brush... But one day, the little girl never imitated her sister again, because the red blocks allowed her to find and begin to develop her own personality, and she suddenly became interested in some red blocks. She picked them up and built a castle, and repeated the game many times, completely forgetting her sister in the process. So much so that my sister asked her very incomprehensibly, 'For. Why are you building a castle while I'm painting? ’”

The French teacher went on to write: "After Christmas, on the premise that I did not do anything, everything in my class became orderly, these children tried to overcome difficulties and concentrate their energies on some difficult work, and the objects that used to be chosen only on a whim or that were previously bored are now attracted to the attention of the children, who seem to be completely attracted to the work at hand, and no longer do things as aimlessly as before, and these efforts have a direct impact on their character, They became their masters. There was a four-year-old girl in the class, who would spill water as soon as she took half a glass or a glass of water, and she deliberately did not do it in order to avoid faceless things, but after she had successfully completed another exercise that interested her, the situation was different, and she was able to skillfully deliver water to her classmates who were painting watercolors without spilling a drop. ”

Something like this can happen in all children's formative years. Before the child's interests are known, the teacher makes great efforts to guide the child to focus on the things he is interested in in the continuous repetition. On the basis of concentration of interest, the neurotic child becomes calmer, and the child with repressed feelings regains vitality. These fixed achievements can produce characteristics of great change, and it can show the development trend of children in the future. Just like a child's teeth, after the first tooth grows out, other teeth will grow out one after another.

In a child's training, the first mistakes often become the source of many mistakes he makes later in life. Adopting a return-to-normal approach to education for these pampered children can effectively help children return to a normal state.

We can imagine the book network, children who grew up in normal families, who were able to control themselves very early on, had an independent sense of individuality, did not like to run around, and their main thing was to live peacefully and move in an orderly manner every day. When we look at children in this way, there is a sense of "conversion" to the human nature of the education of these spoiled children to return to normalcy. At the beginning of the implementation, it must be difficult, and once these children return to a healthy state, all their character defects will be completely missing. When we look at children in this way, even in bad circumstances, the normalization of spoiled children will be demonstrated, and although their normalization is not recognized or helped, and even normally developed behaviors may be denied, this normalization will still be restored as a dynamic principle. Overcoming obstacles, these principles enable spoiled children to meet their own requirements.