Women all have a common dream, which is to be the most beautiful bride in the world. On the day I got married, my mood was also extremely joyful and exciting. Just as I was about to walk into the wedding car, my niece pulled me

Women all have a common dream, which is to be the most beautiful bride in the world. On the day I got married, my mood was also extremely joyful and exciting. Just as I was about to walk into the wedding car, my niece pulled the corner of my clothes, and the weeping pear blossoms asked me with rain: Aunt, will you go home every night to live? At that moment, I wanted the wedding car to stop, because at this moment it was still called home, and then look back at the mother's house.

2, one day in the middle of the night to sleep zhengxiang, my wife pushed me awake and said that she was going to go to the toilet, I said: "What do you call me when you go to the toilet!" She said, "Tell you to get up and get dressed." I said, "Why do you go to the bathroom and I get dressed?" Can't freeze me again! Then the wife got up and wrapped herself in a quilt and left.

3. After the opening of Alipay Huabei, I immediately bought a down jacket on Taobao. Dressed in the morning, I was hit by a motorcyclist when crossing the street. My legs hurt a little and I scratched my clothes. I went to the hospital in a forked down jacket, and when I finished filming and waiting for the results, I went to the hospital gate to smoke a cigarette. I had just squatted down when a couple passed by. The man looked at me, threw me a coin, and heard the woman say: This is really miserable, there is not even a bowl in front of me...

4, recently the company made a profit of 2 million yuan, the boss is very happy, please eat and drink, I quickly got drunk. After being sent home by my brother, my daughter-in-law mischievously, deliberately smeared lipstick and kissed me a few times on my clothes. The next day, I woke up drunk, and my wife asked me very angrily: What did you do outside last night, you look at this lipstick mark! When I saw the laughter, my wife angrily said: You made a mistake, still laughing? I said: Wife, don't be funny, such a big lipstick mark, who else but you has such a big mouth!

5. When I was a child, I followed my father back to my hometown to visit my grandparents. Grandpa said to Dad, "Remember, you can't use force to educate children, and it is not good to educate children by fighting alone." After I listened, I lifted my clothes with tears in my eyes, pointed to a scar on my back, and said, "Grandpa, do you see how good my father's nine whips are?" After listening to me, my father was not happy, he also lifted his clothes, showing more scars, he said: "My father hit it well!!!! Grandpa: "Oh..."

6. In high school, there was a boy in the school's sports training team, nicknamed "Li Wang". He thought it was cool to have holes in his jeans, so he cut several holes in his pants. After getting dirty, I took it to the aunt who washed the school's clothes. When the aunt washed it and returned it to him, the holes in his pants were all sewn. Against the sewn pants, he fell into deep thought...

7, women's thinking is really incredible, the coat worn when meeting people for the first time, the second meeting will never be worn again. I asked why, and she said it would make people think she only had that one piece of clothing. Kneeling...

8, after seeing the hard life of poor mountain teenagers, I had a strong desire to help them, so I discussed with my wife: "Or we will sponsor a mountain girl, send her the books I don't use and the clothes you don't use, give her a little money every month, and you can also visit her regularly, talk to her about fate and life, how meaningful." The wife's face was livid, and she sneered: "Oh, don't you just raise a little third child?" "Me

9, a couple shopping home, said to their mother: Mom, we are back! Mom asked: How much money is left? The husband said: It all cost! My wife helped explain: Mom, my husband bought me a 999 yuan dress, but it looks good! Mom: That's pretty much it, I'll buy you a pair of shoes tomorrow! The wife kept thanking her, and the mother said: You go first! I'm talking to my son about something! After the wife entered the house, my mother asked: What about the dollar? My husband said: I was too tired to go shopping so I bought a bottle of mineral water! Mom was directly a big mouth, followed by a flying foot and said: You are a loser! There is no water in the house! Also spent money on water!

10. Early in the morning, there was another baby in front of the temple. The abbot held the baby in one hand and yelled, "Which guy did this good thing out there?" The monks were talking about it, and the abbot next to him pulled the corner of the abbot's clothes and whispered, "Abbot! You went out a few months ago, this child..." The abbot blushed and said, "Hmm! That monk is merciful! Everybody's scattered! ”

1 Floor mirror is installed next to the door of the clothes storage room, which can be used as the door of the cloakroom and can be used as a full-length mirror. The soft backrest at the head of the bed makes it more comfortable for the owner to watch TV in bed. Floor-to-ceiling mirrors are installed next to the door of the clothes storage room, which can be used as a door in the cloakroom and can be used as a full-length mirror. The soft backrest at the head of the bed makes it more comfortable for the owner to watch TV in bed.

12, some time ago with my son to the park to play, there is a particularly cute little girl in front. The son happily ran to play with her, and when the two of them were playing, the little girl accidentally soiled her son's clothes. The little girl was trying to apologize, but the son said happily: After I soiled my clothes, I will be your person, and you will be responsible. The little girl looked at her son, and then at me behind him. Crying and asking her mother to buy new clothes for my son...

13, blanket star, a kind of emerging star. It has appeared in major film festivals, of which Cannes is the hardest hit area. They claim to have all kinds of invitations, but no film works have been selected; they are keen to wear all kinds of so-called ethnic clothes, take pleasure in wandering the red carpet, but are often dragged out by the security guards; the only role is to provide forum screen pictures for the fan water army, and to represent the vast number of unsuspecting Chinese people in the international glory.

14, the nouveau riche three high is particularly serious, today to the hospital for examination. After the doctor told the upstart about the disease, the eldest brother behind him gave a look to his brother and said, "Hear it, learn well!" The doctor asked, "What to learn?" Big brother: "The two brothers rely on robbery for a living, my brother will not scare people, come to learn from you, you really have two sons, one beriberi is said to be like a terminal illness, scared me out of a cold sweat!" ”