A female colleague in the office was looking at clothes in the online store and joked to the male colleague: "Buy a dress for me to wear!" He said generously: "Yes, those below 500 yuan can choose at will." "Female colleague

A female colleague in the office was looking at clothes in the online store and joked to the male colleague: "Buy a dress for me to wear!" He said generously: "Yes, those below 500 yuan can choose at will." The female colleague said suspiciously: "Really, are there any conditions?" He waved his hand and said, "There are no requirements, but the clothes are only given to you to wear, as for taking off, naturally it is my right, I can take them off when I want to." "Female colleague...

2, Iron Bull has a roommate with a particularly shy personality, rarely chat with everyone. One day Iron Bull asked him: Why don't you like to talk? Roommate: I thought I was stupid, so I didn't want to talk. Iron Bull wondered: Then why do you talk so much after getting drunk? Roommate: Because I thought you were all dumber than me when I got drunk. tractor:......

3, the sister-in-law was thrown to the heart, looking at no one like a good person, once the matchmaker introduced her to a local tycoon. After the two of them met, the sister-in-law said, "You are not a good person when I look at you." Then the local tycoon asked doubtfully, "Where did you see it?" The sister-in-law said, "You see that your ears are so long, you must have been dragged by your mother from a young age!" ”

4, today to go to the bank ATM queue to withdraw money, turn me, the card is inserted, the balance is zero, very disappointed, immediately return the card ready to leave. The girl behind me asked me, "No money?" I hesitated: "Hmm! Then, the long line behind him disappeared in an instant. Want to explain, or forget it, the heart is tired.

5, looking for a sales job, the manager required to wear high heels, but I did not wear ah, so I bought a pair last night, put it on and practice at home. It turned out to be just two steps away, and I suspected I might not be a woman. Although I can't go to work today, I have to eat breakfast, so I go downstairs and go to the bun shop. Downstairs in the community, I met an old couple supporting each other. The aunt said to the uncle: See no, tell you that someone came out to exercise in the morning, you still don't believe it! Uncle said: Yes! I didn't expect that this girl was as young as I was suffering from this hemiplegia sequelae!

6. During this time, I was watching American dramas, saw my classmates, and wanted to use the greeting gestures I had just learned. I held out my hand and said to him: Givemefive! (Clap) The eyes of the same table are first doubtful, then incomprehensible, and finally reluctant. Only to see him take out five dollars and say to me: Borrow money, borrow money, pay back foreign language, remember to pay me back!

7, when shopping, a big aunt suddenly fell down when she passed by me. In the spirit of helping others, I intend to go up and help. At this time, a great uncle stopped me and would not let me help. I looked at Uncle with a puzzled face, and Uncle suddenly said, "I help, if you blackmail me, I will also lie down." At this moment, the tall back of the great master seemed to flash a dazzling light...

8, today I met a big uncle on the subway, I said: "Child, you look very similar to my girlfriend?" I smiled and said, "How old is your girlfriend?" Married? The uncle said with a questioning face, "Why do you ask so?" My daughter is 28 years old this year, and she just became a wife not long ago! So I calmly said: "It is good to get married, it means that I can still marry, after all, this year I am going to run three!" ”

9. There was a physical examination in junior high school, one of which was to measure weight. I'm 150cm tall and when she stands on the scale, the number shows 80kg. The doctor who measured the weight looked at me with a suspicious look, looked at the scale again, and said to himself: The scale is broken? Let me go down and toss it a few times, and finally I confirmed that the scale was not broken, it was so heavy.

10, running at noon, I found that the 100 yuan for lunch in my pocket had fallen. Return the same way and meet an uncle. "Did you find 100 bucks?" "What color?" The uncle asked with a suspicious look. "Red". "That's right, it looks like you dropped it," said the uncle who took out the money and handed it to me. Good uncle!

1 The brother-in-law and the female director of the company did not marry for a long time, the boss sent him on a business trip to Africa for a month, when he returned home, the female supervisor excitedly hugged him and said: Honey, we want a child! The brother-in-law was very confused and asked: If you want a child, is there no one to accompany me when I am not there? The female supervisor said: Yes, I see that my sister's family has a set of maternity clothes that are very beautiful, several thousand, she does not need it now, how convenient it is for me to use, it is not wasted, otherwise my sister will lose it to others! The brother-in-law hugged his brother and sister tightly and said: It is really rare, marry a good wife!

12. The two meet. A: "Your last name?" B: "Surname Yao". A: "But the word omen of ominous omen, next to the word of a male thief and a prostitute?" B asked, "Your surname?" A: "Surname Li." B: "That must be next to the wooden character of the coffin, and the word "son of the eldest son" is added."

13, from the court came a basketball player who was 2 meters tall, and he was sweating hot. When the two elementary school students on the side of the road saw it, they began to talk about it. A: "Why do you say this uncle is so hot?" B: "Because he's tall." A: "Why is it hot when you are tall?" B: "Tall and close to the sun!" ”

14. A: My wife is furious at everything she does, and she has no patience. B: Then she is far worse than my wife. My wife's patience in doing things is really a must! A: Why did she have patience? B: For example, if we go to the street together, she can hide in the women's toilet for 3 hours in order to finish 1 kilogram of melon seeds alone; in order to make me pay for fashion clothes for her, she can block me at the door of the men's toilet for 3 hours! armor:......