Kids don't want to go to school? Parents should be vigilant: the risk of bullying in schools
"The Great Detective" as early as the third season of the first case "Hotel Horror", there was a bridge section of school bullying, and now in the seventh season, the first case mentioned "school bullying", which shows that this phenomenon is very high in life, just like the storyline describes: bullied children, really have no way to complain, they sometimes can only talk to their own dolls.
During the school season, many children will not want to go to school, which is a normal phenomenon, just like we do not want to go to work after a long vacation. But parents still have to be vigilant that their children's boredom is afraid of school bullying, so they are not willing to go to school.
In dealing with campus bullying, our means are often very weak, a slogan "zero tolerance", two methods: fight back, tell the teacher, in fact, there is no effect, campus bullying is still frequent.
This article shares for you: 3 ways to deal with campus bullying, more effective than shouting slogans, calling back and suing teachers.
What is school bullying
First of all, we must be clear that it is not only called bullying when you are injured. Some cold violence, collective isolation, ridicule, are also the category of school bullying, giving you a simple measure:
Whether it bleeds or not, as long as the child does not go to the heart, he can laugh it off. But if the child goes to the heart, the heart goes, affecting sleep, mood, learning and normal life, you have to pay attention.
Has your child ever experienced bullying in school, and what is the situation? You are welcome to discuss it together in the comments section.
These methods are not reliable
From the perspective of the solution to campus bullying, there are usually 3 methods: A: shout slogans; B: fight back; C: sue the teacher. But in fact, this is all a pit, either it does not work, or it has side effects.
A: Shout slogans
"I have zero tolerance for bullying in schools!" I have met parents who shout slogans like this, but when I got such a reply from her, I didn't have any bottom in my heart, and sure enough, the next day her child still beat my coco.
In fact, the slogan is an idea, you do have to uphold the concept of zero tolerance, but how to do it? If there is no method, it is difficult to stop school bullying.
B: Hit back
Hitting back seems to protect the child, but once one day, he meets a person who can't beat him, he will be in a passive situation again.
At the same time, this is to convey the concept of "force first" to the child, so that he is accustomed to solving problems with his fists and is willing to obey the "powerful person" rather than the reasonable person, which is very detrimental to the long-term development of the child.
C: Tell the teacher
Find a teacher, let the teacher say two sentences, this is also the kindergarten and the lower grades of primary schools are applicable, and the real high incidence of bullying is junior high school, high school, to this age, the teacher's influence on the child is not so large, the bully has many means, you can avoid the teacher's eyes and ears, continue to bully the child.
For example, isolating children, what does this make the teacher say? Say: Let everyone play with our children? But everyone was just not happy, and the teacher did not rudder.
Therefore, in the face of bullying, we parents and children need to find something effective. Today, Zhen Zhen will share 3 methods for you to prevent and solve bullying, which is much more effective.
1. Exude the breath of the strong
Parents should make the home, let the parents become a safe island for their children, not a correctional office.
We have to reflect on whether when your child came home from school in the past, did he mention to you that he was nicknamed and bullied at school, and how did you respond at that time? Does it feel like a small thing, is it for him to find a reason from himself?
Whether it is ignored or denied, it will greatly hurt children, hit their self-confidence, make them more inferior, more self-denying. However, we must know that school bullying loves to select those who "exude the atmosphere of the weak", so parents must avoid hitting their children's self-confidence.
When your child complains that a classmate at school is bullying him, you can say, "Don't worry, let's find a way to solve it together." To show that we are "unconditionally supportive" of our children, and at the same time, through in-depth discussion, we can understand the actual situation and help them find ways from the child's point of view, which is the meaning of "safety island".
Only after parents become a safe island for their children, can children have strong self-confidence step by step, and can they slowly exude the atmosphere of strength.
The young girl played by Han Xue in the musical "White Night" is being bullied in school
2, skillful use of human inferiority
"A Brief History of Mankind" says that saying bad things about others together is an effective way for two people to quickly develop a solid friendship, which is one of the inferior natures of human beings.
Therefore, you will find that those bullies, if they can form a climate, often have a particularly strong influence, they are appealing to speak among their classmates, if he says that a classmate is "sick", it may soon make most people think so, and even make everyone feel that it is a shame to be friends with that classmate.
Once this bullying atmosphere is formed, it is difficult for a weak person to change. At this time, when parents and teachers intervene, it is not good.
Therefore, we parents should learn to exercise their children's social skills from an early age, pay more attention to their friendships when children join new classes and enter new schools, help them make suggestions, and let them have a group of good friends as soon as possible and have a voice in their peers.
In this way, the bully will not find our children again. Even when the child's appeal in the classmates reaches a certain level, our children can help the children who are bullied, control public opinion, and fight against the bully.
3. Cultivate a sense of reflection
Professor Li Meijin said in the book "Psychological Upbringing": Whether it is a bully or a bullied person, there are similar psychological defects, that is, in getting along with people, there are "self-centered" and ignore the feelings of others.
She shared a case in which a female college student came to counseling and said that her roommate isolated her, and Professor Li asked her if she knew why everyone ignored her, and she said she didn't know.
Later, Professor Li inquired about her living habits and found that she liked to go back to the dormitory late after learning, but found that everyone was unwilling to pay attention to her, and after that, she was even more afraid to return to the dormitory early.
In fact, this is the consciousness of no "reflection", she can't find out, she has to wash up after returning to the dormitory, the movement will affect others to rest, and the classmates ignore her, which is also a silent protest.
Sometimes children are inadvertently angry with others, so that the bully has the idea to bully our children, if our children can reflect in time, overcome the problem of self-centeredness, not only can make more friends, but also have the ability to live in a class with habitual bullies.
Zhen Zhen summed up
Campus bullying has really become a phenomenon-level campus incident.
It is difficult to say that our children must not be able to touch, so parents should still be vigilant, in this school season, pay attention to observe the children's emotional changes, talk to them more, and relieve the depression in their hearts. In order to ensure that children can grow up healthy and thriving.
I am @蓁蓁 Psychological Upbringing, your family education instructor, focusing on child psychology research, welcome to follow me.
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