After working for 20 years without saving money to buy a house, the 60-square-meter rental house has cultivated 3 children of school bullies, one is a doctorate, one is a military school, and one is admitted to Tsinghua. The father of the construction waterproof worker named Fan Yuhua said: Education is the best investment!
A reporter interviewed: Did you spend money on training?
Dad's answer was unexpected: My three children never went to the class!
It is true that excellent family conditions and good educational resources are the first conditions for cultivating academic tyrants, but through the interview with this ordinary family father, you will find that the ordinary family method is done correctly, and the child can become a talent.
Children love to learn, as soon as they look at the parent-child relationship, they will know
The parents of the problem children often have frustration on their faces, and when they talk about their relationship with their children, they must be inseparable from the following words: sword fighting, water and fire, short temper... Parents see that their children hate iron and steel, and children see their parents and fire from their heads.
Parenthood always hurts the unfair attitude of the child, but if you think about it carefully, you can understand the child.
Parents always hope that their children can grow up to look forward to themselves, stare at their children's every move, and hope that if their children have changed, they will be encouraged. However, who can afford to live under a "monitor"? From time to time, accompanied by various "high and low speakers" are urged, complained, and blamed:
"Hurry up, don't hurry up yet!"
"Why are you disobedient?"
"How many times have I told you, and why is it still wrong?"
……
Parents intend to excite their children, but in their hearts, they are bored.
Children are independent individuals, and when their lives are controlled at all times and everywhere, when their will is always swayed, it is inevitable to rebel. Like reading, if it becomes something that parents impose on themselves, children either don't want to make progress or openly rebel – they don't study well.
Fan Yuhua said: Being a father is condescending, it is impossible for the child to speak the truth with you, and get along with the child, try to be like a friend!
Indeed, if a child can talk to his parents when he is troubled, and he can coddle his parents when he is happy, in a relaxed and loving family atmosphere, he will keep a happy mood and devote himself to learning every day.
Whether the child learns well or not, the family atmosphere is very important.
Treating his son as a friend is the parenting philosophy that this builder dad has always adhered to. Therefore, his image in the minds of the three children is not at all majestic.
The child never disliked the "useless" father who could not give them a good life, but instead offered to go to the construction site to help his father work. In this regard, this father was very emotional: the child is treating me as a friend to get along with! I also took the opportunity to communicate with them more.
Seize the time and take advantage of the opportunity
Time is the advantage of chance, in the end: all successes are attributed to the advantage of time.
In this world, there are indeed gifted children, but more children, their IQ is at the same level. A big reason why the gap between children and children will be widened is the "view of time".
A child, if he cherishes time from an early age and develops the good habit of "the day's events, the day's completion", his grades will not be worse.
Knowledge learning has a systematic coherence, children only eat the daily learning content thoroughly digested, in order to learn to achieve success, step by step, solid to learn more knowledge.
But if the child once develops the habit of procrastination, today this will not be, tomorrow that is not learned well, these unlearned knowledge is like a snowball, and finally even if the child suddenly wakes up and intends to study well, he will be helpless.
Fan Yuhua's youngest son, Fan Zeyu, was admitted to the Department of Civil Engineering of Tsinghua University with a score of 676, and he mentioned during the experience sharing: he will write a lot of Post-it notes to remind himself of what to do every day, and when there is nothing to do, he will often go through it to check whether there is something missing that has not been completed. Moreover, he strictly arranges his daily time for each activity and strives to complete it efficiently.
"People are malleable, as long as they get used to it, they will be on the same string, and they will try to achieve it." Fan Zeyu said.
Listen carefully to the class, there is no need to make up the class
Some reporters questioned Fan Yuhua: How can a parent with a low level of knowledge raise three bully children?
In this regard, Fan Yuhua is extremely proud: my three children never go to cram school! The class is well listened to, there is no need to go to cram school.
In fact, if you look closely, you will find that not only the three bully babies of the Fan family, but all the children with excellent grades are not made up by making up for the results.
In-class knowledge is the foundation, and children can only consolidate the knowledge in the classroom if they listen carefully in class. The basic knowledge is solid and thorough, in order to do one thing and another, so that it is not far from success.
On the contrary, it is not easy to learn in the classroom, and the extracurricular desperately spends money, and the make-up teacher can only start from the basics, and what is spent is unjust money.
The heavier the study, the more you have to combine work and leisure
As the grade rises, the heavier the learning task, many parents will urge their children to run out of time, and it is common for children to stay up late to learn.
But Fan Yuhua said: The combination of work and leisure is more important, learning when you should study, and playing when you should play.
The father's approach is to buy a big sandbag at home, see the sisters and brothers study for a long time, he will pull the child to raise his head, the brothers punch each other, the sister is the referee, the children giggle and play, although it only consumes ten or twenty minutes, but the child's state will change dramatically.
It is important to win time, and it is more important to seize time efficiency. The heavier the learning task, the more attention should be paid to the combination of work and leisure, so that the child can use his hands and feet between learning and enjoy the brain, as if the energy is recharged and the efficiency is higher.
There is no big truth, and it is all ordinary small experience. What is rare and valuable is that this father leads by example, insists on practicing what he preaches, and does small things well, and big things are achieved.
This era is changing rapidly, and the child's future is unpredictable, but if the parents provide him with the soil for freedom, the child will have more room to grow upwards, and their embrace of the sky will be closer and wider.
I am a Nuo mom, focusing on parent-child growth research, talking about parenting dry goods, writing parenting tips, paying attention to me, growing up together and improving ah~