I am a mountain brother, for many years focus on emotional column writing, talk about emotional life, write life insights, thank you for your attention.
#山哥情感观点系列 #
(Shan Ge talks about emotions, picture from the Internet)
| Wen/Pang Fengshan
Preface
Only by walking through a lot of roads and experiencing a lot of things can we see through life, understand life, see clearly human nature, and understand what kind of life they really want and what kind of life they live.
Confucius said: Thirty and standing, forty not confused, fifty and knowing the Destiny of Heaven."
If a person is forty years old, when he reaches middle age, he is still busy with socializing, is also willing to communicate with people, and constantly deals with various people, appearing to be popular and well-informed, that may be the need for your career development, which is the embodiment of the height of life.
However, when you reach the age of fifty, you will understand that once a person begins to allow himself to participate in endless socializing, it is easy to let himself be involved in the whirlpool of socializing, it is difficult to withdraw, and he will make himself physically and mentally exhausted, and even bored.
You know, the interaction between people is very complicated and tiring.
Or perhaps, in the beginning, everyone rolling around together is a kind of hilarity, a kind of hustle, but after a long time, you will find that such a hustle is a kind of glitz, such a social is a kind of torture, and it actually has no meaning for yourself.
When people reach a certain age, they should make themselves more sober and realistic, and they should also focus on and choose their interpersonal interactions.
Some people can communicate with each other, less contact can be less, can not communicate without contact, especially the following people, never let themselves be in contact again, there is no point.
01
"Some friends who are good to go"
The French once said that the most commonly used noun in the world is friend, but the most difficult to get is also a friend.
In this life, from small to large, from young to old, people will make a lot of friends, but in the end you will find that there will be fewer and fewer friends who can withstand the precipitation of the years and can withstand the test of time.
Lu Xun said: In life, it is enough to know oneself.
In fact, in Lu Xun's view, in addition to this life confidant, some other friends, that is, some dispensable friends.
For these friends, there is often no meaning, some are wine and meat friends, some are nominal friends, and some are friends who use each other.
For those friends who are completely dispensable, such as wine and meat friends, especially those who often use the name of friends, constantly fishing for benefits on you, and even occasionally pit your friends, don't contact again, there is really no point, or it is better to stay away.
Friends are hierarchical, but also need to look at the quality, a person reaches the age of fifty, to fully realize this, to see the true connotation and essence of the so-called friend, and even to see the true face of the other party.
In the world, not all friends are called friends, not all friends are worth associating with, some dispensable friends, friends who are not worth interacting with, from now on, can not contact no longer contact.
When people reach a certain age, it is more important to live themselves, to put more energy on themselves and their families, and not to mix with those dispensable wine and meat friends, in addition to wasting time together, they may also have friction and contradictions because of drunken gaffes, and the gains are not worth the losses.
After the age of fifty, to get along with real friends, friends are not many but fine, at this age, in making friends, especially be cautious, to choose to do subtraction instead of addition.
Choose people who are really quality and can make friends with each other, and for those who are dispensable, there is no need to contact them.
02
"Colleagues with only interests"
Once, in a film and television drama, I saw such a line: there are no more than three kinds of relationships between people, blood relations, interest relations, and sexual relations.
Of course, this is the statement of a criminal in the play, although it is extreme and paranoid, but it cannot be said that there is no truth.
In fact, people together, in most cases, can not be separated from the relationship of interests.
The most direct relationship of interest is the relationship between colleagues, in a company or a unit, between colleagues, on the surface, most of them are harmonious. In fact, it is all about intrigue.
When a person reaches the age of fifty, he must maintain the necessary distance from his colleagues, do not get too close, and the cooperation between colleagues is, in the final analysis, a cooperative relationship.
Many people in the treatment of colleague relationship, there are often a certain misunderstanding, some people always want to the distance between colleagues, close enough, always want to upgrade with each other into friends, or even very good friends.
As a result, not only do you get particularly close in the unit, but you also keep in touch with each other in private, constantly communicating feelings together.
In fact, in the end of communication, colleagues are colleagues, and they can never exceed that layer of interest relationship, and it is difficult to communicate with each other. Especially by the age of fifty, everyone's heart is no longer so simple.
This is especially true between colleagues, and it is enough to communicate, coordinate and cooperate well together on work matters, and there is no need to take the relationship between colleagues too seriously.
People are together, and the relationship between colleagues is the most realistic. Few people will simply communicate with you outside of work, and it is good not to beat your small report to the leader behind your back and stab you.
After the age of fifty, don't be too kind, don't be too kind, for those small human-type colleagues in the unit, especially beware, don't be too accustomed, you can hide, you can stay away, if you don't need to intersect together, you should never contact again.
03
"Affectionate relatives and classmates"
Zhao Benshan said: Poor do not take root, rich do not pass on the help, a love word to live a lifetime!
When people are together, the key is to have feelings and communicate with each other. This is true of friends, relatives, classmates, or even husband and wife.
What people are most afraid of is that in the exchange of indifferent feelings, people are snubbed, even between relatives, if you can not treat each other with sincerity, do not talk about family affection, cold feelings, then there is no need to communicate and contact with them.
Before the age of fifty, maybe we can't get rid of the shackles of family affection, we will always take family affection very seriously, and we will also get close to many relatives.
However, after a long time, when you get older, you will understand more and more that it is really a cold and warm human feeling, and the world is hot and cold. When you have unlimited scenery, or when you are rich and powerful, many relatives and friends will come to you, greet you warmly, ask long and short questions.
However, when your scenery is no longer in the trough of life, you will find that the relatives and friends who were around you have long since dispersed and begun to distance themselves from you.
In fact, in life, many people attach great importance to classmates and camaraderie, which is resonant and empathetic to everyone.
However, in this era, the feelings between classmates and comrades-in-arms are also constantly estranged, and everyone is also becoming more and more realistic, more and more utilitarian, and even more and more worldly.
Especially after the age of fifty, the class reunion, the comrade-in-arms party, how many people will still very simply miss the original green onion years, more often together is just to eat and drink, secretly than who mixed well, who mixed poorly, those who are relatively well mixed in society, will show off their sense of superiority from time to time, and then everyone will take a mobile phone to brush the screen and begin to remain silent.
Between friends, between relatives, between classmates, many times, it is a very helpless and very realistic and painful thing to say to each other.
In the face of this situation, it really doesn't make any more contact, it doesn't make any sense.
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About the Author:
Brother Shan, an emotional columnist with temperature and attitude, hopes to warm and accompany every lonely heart with the words of the heart!