What is marriage?
Some people say that marriage is a quarrel and rushing out of the door, and then coming back to buy a dish by the way.
I used to think that love and marriage must be vigorous, and love must be loved to the extreme.
Later, I found that in the adult world, there are so many earth-shattering.
Warm pulses, thin water and long flow, can also achieve a happy story.
The truly mature concept of marriage is actually only ten words: the heart is better than looks, and understanding is more important than love.
It is often said that this is the "era of looking at the face", but in the matter of marriage, it is far from enough to look at the face.
In the TV series "Children of the Qiao Family", the marriage of the youngest daughter Qiao Simei is a typical case.
Simei grew up under the love of her brothers and sisters, and her biggest hobby is to circle around good-looking people.
A chance encounter on the street made her fall in love at first sight with Qi Chenggang, who returned from the army to visit her relatives.
She was again making long-distance calls, writing letters, and even rushing to Qi Chenggang's troops from thousands of miles away.
Under the stalking, she finally became the "fiancée" of the other party.
Even if Qi Chenggang was later punished for his style problems, the whole family resolutely opposed this marriage, and she also insisted on marrying the other party.
Looking at her tall and handsome husband, Simei thought that she would have a happy life.
But the reality is cruel, and her single-minded dedication cannot prevent her husband from cheating again and again.
In the end, Simei, whose heart was dead, filed for divorce.
At that time, the little girl who was bent on marrying a handsome man not only did not reap happiness because of the appearance of her lover, but instead became a middle-aged woman with a frosty face in betrayal and trials.
Marriage that only looks at appearances is like a castle in the air.
As long as there is a slight temptation and test, without pushing, you will fall.
I remembered the experience of another female friend next to me.
When she first brought her boyfriend to a party of girlfriends, we were all surprised because the other party was really "not good-looking".
Her small eyes, half-bald hair, and the self-proclaimed "Appearance Association" are really difficult to connect.
But with the kung fu of a meal, we all began to understand her decision.
Her boyfriend not only took good care of her from beginning to end, but also took good care of all the friends, talked politely and politely, and talked about work very insightfully.
Finally, it is also considerate to pay in advance.
A person's appearance may deceive people, but the character revealed in the details cannot deceive people.
Today, the two have a son and live a warm and happy life.
The so-called "knowing the face and not knowing the heart", the heartbeat caused by appearance is only temporary; the relationship that has been tireless for a long time because of character is a lifetime.
How many people rush into marriage because of their obsession with high looks, but in the end they only harvested a chicken feather.
The most important thing about marriage is not the heartbeat of the heavenly thunder and the earth's fire, but the long-lasting peace of mind.
No matter how beautiful the appearance, it will age, and only the loyal and kind personality background can last.
When I was young and ignorant, I always thought that a sentence of "I love you" was worth everything.
In fact, the two people finally fell apart, not necessarily because they did not love, but because they did not understand.
In the movie "Ten Thousand Sentences in One Sentence", a scene is impressive.
The male and female protagonists happily go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get a marriage license, and a couple comes to apply for divorce.
The staff asked the couple who were preparing for divorce: "Why are you divorcing?" ”
The two replied coldly, "I can't say." ”
After a while, the staff asked the male and female protagonists: "Why are you getting married?" ”
The two replied enthusiastically, "We said yes!" ”
The so-called "speaking" means that there is a common language and can read each other's minds.
Love may be just a momentary heartbeat, but understanding requires putting yourself in the shoes of others and living with yourself.
I have seen the love story of Asian flying man Su Bingtian and his wife Lin Yanfang.
As an athlete, Su Bingtian trains outside all year round, unable to give his family enough companionship, and sometimes has to live in the training base for several months because of the training.
Lin Yanfang knows that her lover regards running as life, and in order to accommodate the other party's time, she often gets up at four or five o'clock in the morning and catches up for a few hours to visit him.
I saw each other once a month for three years.
For his wife's efforts, Su Bingtian also silently remembered in his heart.
He calls his wife every day to report his trip, and every time he posts on Weibo, he does not forget to @wife.
Even if he won a good place in the competition, he had to praise his wife "Wangfu".
"Marriage Pope" John Gottman said: A happy marriage is to always be curious about each other and never stop talking.
No matter how trivial life is, you can still see the shining point in your lover and have the "desire to share" to open a dialogue, which is more rare than any gorgeous confession.
As Liao Yimei said, in this life, it is not uncommon for people to encounter love and sex, what is rare is understanding.
Two souls who understand each other can illuminate each other on the road of life and reach the end of happiness.
A good marriage is not a shiny but fragile bubble, but a shell that grows strong enough to protect two people.
Those partners who see their nature through appearances and understand through confessions reap the ultimate happiness.
In the recent hit "The World of Man", Zhou Bingkun and Zheng Juan are such a pair of lovers.
At first, Zhou Bingkun fell in love with Zheng Juan at first sight.
When he posted the novel "I have never seen a living person who looks better than your sister since I was a child", the first thing that comes to Zhou Bingkun's mind is Zheng Juan.
But at that time, he did not pluck up the courage to confess, but silently helped people to send living subsidies to Zheng Juan.
With the passage of time, he was gradually moved by Zheng Juan's "tenacity" of never accepting defeat in the face of misfortune, and the two finally came together.
And Zheng Juan did not live up to the trust of her lover.
When Zhou Bingkun was arrested and imprisoned by mistake, it was Zheng Juan who stood up to the gossip and served his old mother who was paralyzed in bed for him, and took care of housework inside and out.
Before Zhou Bingkun left, he gave all his savings to Zheng Juan, but Zheng Juan did not move at all, spending only the 200 yuan left by his adoptive mother.
And when Zhou Bingkun's brother and sister were admitted to college and became the pride of the population, it was also Zheng Juan who saw through her husband's lack of confidence and embarrassment and quietly held his hand to show comfort.
The couple supported each other in times of crisis, and frothed with each other in the plain, so that countless viewers saw the most beautiful and simple appearance of love.
Fu Seoul once said: Marriage is a choice, the most valuable thing is not that we have chosen each other in many choices, but that no matter how long it takes, we will still choose each other.
It's not easy to fall in love, and it's even harder to run a marriage.
Often after watching the world, we will understand:
What determines how far two people can go is not the surprise at first sight, but the deep understanding, trust in the back, and unreserved support in the years.
I have read a passage on the Internet:
The so-called wealth, beauty, and external conditions in marriage are all illusory.
Marriage is to make you wake up at three o'clock in the middle of the night when you are the weakest, feel thirsty, feel uncomfortable, just push the person next to you, the other party can know that you want to drink water.
Maybe it's not so romantic, but it tells the truth about marriage in the adult world.
Happy marriages often do not require any grand momentum, but someone sets up a dusk for you, and someone asks you if the porridge is warm.
When the passion fades, the dopamine dissipates, and the intimacy remains the same, it is time, it is habit, it is mutual concern, it is loyalty to vows.
May you always believe in the beauty of marriage, after the tediousness of chai rice oil and salt, you can still see the light in each other's eyes and have the happiness of a lifetime.
The author | Ju Xiaoxiao
The anchor | Tong Tong, public number: Tong Tong accompanies you to read, WeChat video number: Tong Tong accompanies you to read
Pictures | Visual China
Ten o'clock Jun said