There was a recent comment in the live room, which was particularly funny:
"Most parenting specialists, whose families are daughters, are used in homes with boys, just like raising huskies with the experience of raising side pastors." I was miserable, there were border herdsmen in the family, there were also huskies, and it was also unfortunate to be in the business of child-rearing... Truth be told, boys and girls, it's really not the same. When I was adolescence, my parents gave me a book, John Gray's "Men from Mars, Women from Venus", even if you don't know the author, everyone probably hears this sentence: men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Due to natural differences in physiology and thinking, they have very different views and solutions to things.
Take the simplest haircut: 15 yuan can make a man change his face, and it is particularly efficient. And the woman, who spent 1,000 yuan and spent more than ten hours, seems to make no difference.
Going out shopping, the woman's "wait for me down" will run through for hours.
Is this true in love, boys and girls, from an early age?
Boys and girls, the brains are very different
A 30-year study by lise Eliot, a neuroscientist at Rosalind Franklin University in the United States, and her research team have found that the male and female brains are indeed slightly different, but the key to these differences lies in the size of the brain, not the function.
Men's brains are larger than women's from birth and stabilize at around 11% in adulthood, but this sex difference does not mean that there is a difference in function, and there will also be differences in brain volume between men, just like small-headed fathers and large-headed sons.
The picture is from the public account of China Biotechnology Network
In the past 30 years, a new science, gender science is emerging, the question of how gender affects boys and girls, including the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, Germany and other 35 developed countries research results show that there are at least more than 100 differences between the brains of boys and girls.
Typically, the more important differences for parents are:
1. Boys have more dopamine in their blood and more blood flow through the cerebellum
Dopamine increases the probability of impulsive and adventurous behavior. The cerebellum, on the other hand, controls behavior and body movements. The blood flow through the cerebellum is large, and the cerebellum is more active, so boys love to move.
These factors contribute to boys' overall inferior learning abilities during meditation and sedentary process than girls. Boys are more likely to learn from physical movements. (Move, Play, Learn)
2, from the genetic point of view of human history, because men are mainly engaged in hunting activities, they need to cultivate a more "space-motor perception" brain.
They need good vision, but they don't need to have particularly fine and sensitive perceptions like women who are responsible for having children.
The boy's brain is extremely excited. Blood flows more through the brainstem than in girls' brainstems. Therefore, it is more suitable for body movement, but it is not suitable for the import and output of language.
The boy's brain tends to be "space-mechanical play and learning", and it always "takes up more space" than the girl's brain.
When boys are confined to a small space, boys will fidget like ants on a hot pot, feel confused and anxious, and then many disciplinary problems will occur.
Raising boys, to be "diverse"
Many parents want their child to "look like a boy/girl". Boys have to be masculine and girls have to be gentle, right?
In addition to the universal preference and obsession with boys, our education is accustomed to forcing boys to be stronger and girls to be gentler.
Girls with a sense of strength and boys with tolerance are more likely to be happy and successful. The inclusive, diverse, and resilient personality of "hermaphrodite" is more conducive to the growth of children than blindly using gender roles to limit children's choices.
Trillion also once secretly painted my lipstick, and even took Qianjie's exclusive nail polish and painted nails...
Try on my high heels, take a flower, and once wear a skirt,...
In fact, children experience life of different genders, role play, or simply curiosity, there is no problem. Don't panic,
It is not really feminine because of a few "attempts", or something big wrong.
Raise girls, to "untie"
You must have heard, "Girls should have a girly look", "Girls don't fight so hard", "Girls don't..." But we became the girl's parents, are these words really right?
Qianjie had wanted to join the women's soccer club before, but there was no girls' club in the school, because she had been depressed for a long time.
I said, "You go to the teacher and apply to build one." Sister Qian: "Then I will ask alone, how humiliating." I said, "You know what? Women can work, but it is only a matter of decades. The first person who is willing to bring it up, give each of us a chance to work. Even if you don't succeed, at least let the girls who love to play football like you be seen! Everyone doesn't say, the teacher may think that no girl wants to play football "I thought she forgot... As a result, she actually went to the teacher.
"Mom, the teacher said no, but will seriously consider my proposal." Bouncing away.
This semester, Qianjie finally mixed in dozens of boys' clubs and became the only girl on the football team. But she was particularly excited: "All the girls in our class want me to join!" So they will be brave in the future! "Congratulations to Sister Qianjie for doing something particularly remarkable, it is the result of giving it to others, and trying or not trying is a gift to yourself." Perhaps, it is a gift for "one's own kind".
The real power does not come from gender, from age, not from achievement, but from the child's "belief".
Untie the girls, say goodbye to stereotypes, our children, and have the possibility to challenge everything extraordinary!
Advice for parents
1. Girls are allowed to sit in the front row and girls are allowed to make the final say.
2. Allow boys to cry and encourage boys to express themselves.
3. Help boys and girls find "idols" in the family, the more parents accompany each other, the more children have identification.
4. Help children to be exposed to multiple possibilities, and accept and recognize the advantages of different genders.
Perhaps at a certain stage, children will "reverse gender" or play games that other genders like, but the background is positive, and children with high-quality interactions must be more sunny and optimistic.
Many excellent people are not hermaphrodites who are "desperate like men" and "as delicate as women", but accept the advantages of their gender, put aside labels, and become themselves. You're not your gender, you're yourself, and it's enough that you like yourself.
Make boys more inclusive, girls more powerful, and most importantly, let our children not be in the "framework" of gender stereotypes.