I often show off to my girlfriends who give birth to daughters: the mother of our adoptive son is absolutely mentally strong.
This sentence, I believe that the mother who adopts her son will feel the same way.
There is a difference between men and women, first of all, the physiological difference is doomed!
The dopamine content in the blood of the little boy is relatively high, they are always action-oriented, like to take risks, like to challenge, and the little boy seems to be born with a special energy, all kinds of boxes and cabinets, the house is a mess of chicken feathers at any time.
Moreover, the language development of boys is obviously worse than that of girls of the same age, when girls of the same age can already speak softly as "little cotton jackets", their own children, may only stumble and can not say a complete sentence. Not only is it "late" in early childhood, but after school, the ability to listen, speak, read and write is also worse than that of girls.
Oh, my God! In my previous life, what sins did I make and give birth to a son??
After facing the boy's various mischievous behaviors, many mothers have declared: Where is the raising of a baby, it is clear that it is a robbery!
Don't blame the mother who gave birth to our son is too extreme, and the bitter tears that boys are difficult to raise, only after experiencing it is more clear. But don't be discouraged, don't be discouraged, there is always a way to raise children, so many successful men, don't they all start to develop from small boys?
Educating boys and educating girls really can't be generalized.
Girls need love and care to grow up, while boys need encouragement to grow up. To develop a confident, sunny, creative, imaginative and responsible man, then start from an early age.
Mothers who adopt sons, don't treat them with scolding, doing so will only cause two extremes. Either children are cowardly, introverted and lose their masculinity under "repression"; or they will "fight violence with violence" and color, and grow up to be rude and violent.
How to encourage boys, say these 2 words to them often, they will become more and more excellent!
The first sentence – "Tell mom, why are you doing this?" ”
When I was raising Dabao, I really couldn't understand why he had such a powerful destructive power? When the toy he just bought arrived, he was not playing at the first time, but disassembling and researching, and making it fragmented before he was willing to give up.
In the beginning, I made the same mistakes as many mothers, no matter how much three seven twenty-one stopped them first. But I soon realized that this was not right, and although the children were forced by my prevention to stop "demolishing the house", their curiosity was also erased.
So, I changed my mind, whenever Dabao played his "professional demolition team" skill, I always forced myself to be calm, calm, and calm again. Then, I asked Dabao in the same tone as a chat: "Tell your mother, why are you doing this?" ”
The answer I got was somewhat unexpected, and The original intention of Dabao to dismantle things was to understand what the principle was.
As it goes: he took down the toy little piano and he told me he wanted to see why this thing makes a wonderful sound!
He dismantled the RC car and he told me he wanted to know why this wheel spun for no reason!
Yes, the child's little brain contains "100,000 whys", and when his parents can't give him an answer, he simply looks for the answer himself.
The great educator Khomlinsky said: The wisdom of the child is at his fingertips.
Therefore, in the face of the big treasure of demolition, I no longer stop it, but try to restrain him with rules, such as: dangerous goods are not allowed to be demolished, new things are not allowed to be demolished, and the consent of my mother must be obtained between demolitions. With these additional terms, Dabao's behavior is no longer unacceptable, on the contrary, every time he wants to tear something down, I can take out of his mouth why he did it.
When the destructive behavior of the little boy is transformed into the wings of imagination, my parents will find out that my son is so good!
Second sentence – "Can you do it?" ”
The first time I took Dabao to the cinema, my heart was full of anxiety, after all, this little boy seems to be in a state of excitement forever, lest he is not quiet in public, how to influence others?
Before leaving, I repeatedly agreed with my child: "Baby, today we went to see a movie, there are many uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters in the cinema, can you do it without making noise and watching the movie quietly?" ”
The child's sparkling eyes were shining, and he thought for a moment before seriously replying, "I can do it!" ”
Of course, Dabao's performance that day also had accidents, halfway through the movie, he suddenly wanted to go to the screen to see.
Heck, when I was ready to take my kids out of the field halfway through, I decided to make one last attempt. I did not strictly stop it, but whispered in his ear: "Baby, you promised your mother, you can do it without making noise and watching the movie, have you forgotten?" ”
Yes, that's when the miracle happened. The child's original restless and writhing body instantly became quiet, he tilted his head, as if seriously recalling our original agreement, and then he firmly replied to me: "Mom, I have not forgotten, I can do it!" ”
For boys, rather than telling the whole story or scolding harshly, it is not as practical as a problem.
Any little boy craves respect, and they want to show their skills in front of their parents. Therefore, pushing the boat, parents and children make this agreement, they usually will not refuse, compared to the "how you must be", "you are not allowed to how" educational effect, this closed question and answer method is undoubtedly much better.
To write a heartfelt word for a mother who raises her son:
Raising a son is destined to pay more effort than raising a daughter, after all, from the physiological reasons, brain structure, boys are born worse than girls' empathy ability. If the boy wants to go far, we need to patiently guide him, affirm him, support him and encourage him.
The same thing, while parents put forward high standards and strict requirements for boys, they may wish to change a way they can accept, which may be more acceptable in the boy's "straight male thinking" mode, and the problem of parenting will be solved.
As the saying goes: "Good words are warm in three winters".
Raising a son requires parents to master the art of language!
I am the Mengwa Brigade, once a 985 college bully, and now a second-child mother who studies parenting full-time. Raising a baby is not easy, and it is good and cherished, welcome to pay attention to me, discuss the parenting sutra together!