01
The degree of self-discipline determines the height of life.
There is a saying on the Internet that goes like this: "The more self-disciplined, the more free." He also said, "The boundary of self-discipline is the boundary of freedom." ”
It can be seen that the degree of self-discipline of a person often determines the height of life.
In reality, many people are trapped in the state of "intermittent hesitation and ambition", "continuous mixed eating and waiting for death", pretending to work very hard to "pseudo-self-discipline", deceiving others, but they can't deceive themselves, because the ending will not accompany you to act.
People who are truly self-disciplined do not do it in a day or two, but have a process of cultivation and growth. Little by little, they lift their dependence on the outside world, and a little bit of polishing their learning, execution and self-control, when the kung fu is accomplished, they stand out from the crowd and are different.
02
People who are truly self-disciplined don't expect others.
A great monk once said, "Suffering comes from self-grasping and Dharma-clinging, that is, attachment to oneself and attachment to the things around oneself." ”
For example, in the workplace, we always blame the leader for being too mean, colleagues are too harsh, it is precisely because of their strength and inhumanity, which leads to their own work is more and more tired, this feeling of being "suppressed" is like a tight curse, so that they are extremely depressed every day.
In order to "take a breath of evil", many people spend all their energy on how to fight with people: the work at hand, to make a new brilliance; to report work, to elevate themselves and demean their opponents. So deliberately dealing with everything, so that all the space in life is filled with resentment, jealousy, and anxiety, and there is no happiness to speak of.
Over time, the body and mind are exhausted, the health situation deteriorates, and the competitiveness is invisibly weakened a lot.
Since it is too persistent, it is not worth the loss. It is better to change the way of life: pull yourself out of the complex "struggle", no longer follow the "rhythm" of others, but set your own goals and achieve them in an orderly manner.
Like Zeng Guofan, a heavy minister of the late Qing Dynasty, before the age of 30, he was extremely mediocre. In order to obtain a meritorious name, he worked hard to endorse the book, and finally got an official and a half-job.
However, after entering the workplace, Zeng Guofan had no goal, ate and drank all day, was busy socializing, but was extremely panicked in his heart, and did not know what to expect for such a day.
Therefore, he made up his mind to formulate a series of plans such as self-cultivation and promotion, and no longer allowed himself to be assimilated by the surrounding environment.
Ten years later, his cultivation and official positions have been greatly improved as scheduled, which is the power of self-discipline.
It can be seen that people who are truly self-disciplined, no matter how comfortable and harsh the environment they encounter, will only ask of themselves and will not expect others.
When a person shows that he does not care, accuse, or complain about the surrounding environment and others, he is like a party in a "contradiction", withdrawing from the scene and unable to fight if he wants to.
The act of spending all your time refining yourself is itself a silent warning to others: I am destined to be different from you.
03
People who are truly self-disciplined do not speculate on others.
Time is the fairest, and giving everyone the same amount of time.
In the days from birth to death, some people are full of joy and pleasure every day, they can see their progress compared to the previous day, and sincerely praise the unexpected small luck, so that the original meaningless life is given a rich and colorful meaning.
When a person begins to love himself well, every day of a dull life is a good day.
This, in fact, is also a high level of self-discipline.
In real life, too many people do not understand that "the prosperity outside the window is not my prosperity.". Rather, it is an extreme desire to find recognition, affirmation and praise for self-worth in the words and deeds of others and in their eyes. Once the other party shows contempt, disdain or contempt, they feel that they have been humiliated and ashamed, and they will not be able to live in fear.
As an example is told in a novel:
A secretary sent the painstakingly written manuscript to the leader, originally thinking that he would be praised. Who knows, that day the leader and his wife quarreled, the mood was very bad, did not look at it, directly threw the manuscript aside, breathlessly said: "I know." ”
Just because of the leader's unhappy expression and a careless remark, the secretary began to speculate continuously after walking out of the leader's office: Does the leader think that my writing skills are too bad, or do he already have a prejudice against me in his heart? Is it hard to sweep me out of the house?
After a whimsical thought, the secretary who was originally in high emotions was like a frosted eggplant - it was lost. This kind of worried emotion made colleagues in the same office feel depressed, and when he returned home, he brought back the "cloud of sorrow", and the family did not dare to speak loudly.
The next day, the leader called the secretary away and praised the manuscript he wrote, and the secretary began to do the "Spring and Autumn Dream" of promotion and salary increase.
In the complicated world, people will come into contact with different people and different things every day, if they always "look outward" and constantly speculate on the thoughts of others, they will inevitably be "led by the nose" by others. When a person loses himself, where will there be self-assertion and self-growth?
People who are truly self-disciplined do not harm others.
"The Second Flower" writes: The motivation of self-discipline is to consider the feelings of others, and not to cause harm to others and make others miserable because of their misconduct.
I understand that this kind of harm is not an occasional contradiction, and then a big fight. Instead, under the "luck of the heart", I touched the wordless pain of others.
Just like a very popular online article wrote "Don't disturb the happiness of others": everyone has different happiness. Some people's happiness may be dismissed by others, but for him, it is all.
The article gives an example, a family holds a wedding banquet for a child who has been admitted to college, and when a guest is toasting, he has to investigate the root cause of which university the child is admitted to. When he learned that it was just a very humble junior college, he teased very unceremoniously: "Is this also a college entrance?" ”
As the guest began to introduce the school's "unknown name" and "very unpopular", the originally joyful atmosphere suddenly froze, and the smile on the host's face stiffened, but they still had to squeeze out a smiley face and continue to thank the guests.
This is unintentional harm. Seemingly "heartless", but in fact "heart", because he is not "self-disciplined" at all, only cares about self-talk, feels good about himself, and ignores the feelings of others, and does not have half "empathy".
04
Conclusion:
Born as a human being, it is impossible not to associate with others. In a noisy crowd, maintaining friendly boundaries with people and having the ability to enjoy time alone requires a high degree of self-discipline.
"Everyone sweeps the snow in front of the door, and the others are frosted." It's not indifference, it's about being okay with each other. Only by guarding each other's borders can we get along for a long time.
Author: Like the wind is light as a cloud.
Your happiness, my blessings.
Images are from the web.