Father, it is you who decide whether your child can live well in middle school! 10 tips for fathers of adolescent children

In the father, the child can see his own future!

In the process of children's growth, parents' words and deeds have an important impact on their children's lives!

The secondary school stage is an important stage in the growth of children, and it is a transition period from maternal love to fatherly love. During this period, maternal love can be appropriately reduced, and paternal love can be appropriately increased. Dad needs to give more love to care for the child!

Father is a very important existence for children, the child's life direction needs to be helped by the father to make the correct "navigation", with rational fatherly love to help the child, the child can grow up healthily.

01

Mother's love gives a sense of satisfaction, and father's love gives a sense of direction

Taking the relationship between father and son as an example, there is indeed a language between father and son that belongs to father and son. Together, they can play together, they can constantly touch each other's bodies... Behaviorists say that the physical contact between father and son in a fight is a deep level of communication between father and son.

It is because of this deep communication that the boy knows that he is going to grow into a man like his father. In their fathers, they can see their own future, and they will consciously follow their father's example.

Every boy needs the love of a parent to grow up, but father's love is completely different from that of a mother's. Mother's love is delicate and gentle, in maternal love, boys can get satisfaction; while father's love is broad and rough, in father's love, boys can find a sense of direction.

If a little boy can't touch his father for a long time, or doesn't feel his father's love, he will have a strong sense of insecurity and will lose his way.

Boys need a father, they need to see their position in their father, they need to imitate their father's behavior to make themselves manly. Therefore, for the healthy growth of boys, fathers must not ignore their sons on the grounds of "busy work".

Fathers' actions, language, and thoughts influence boys all the time, but not all fathers succeed in taking on the role of "son role model." Many fathers also often unconsciously convey wrong thoughts and actions to their sons.

In life, if the father rarely helps his wife with housework, then when the mother asks the boy to do some housework for himself, the boy will rightfully refuse. Because the idea has arisen in their minds that doing housework is a woman's business and that men have the right not to help.

02

The pattern of the father determines how high the child can fly

Children often have a strong admiration for their fathers, using them as a symbol of wisdom and strength. Children will subconsciously imitate the father's behavior. After the mind matures, it will strive to reach or surpass the height of the father.

And relative to mothers, fathers generally do not spoil their children, they often point out a direction for their children to reach with their own strength. Children have more space to play, but also exercise the ability to stand on their own.

Therefore, the best education given by fathers to their children is not considerate care of everything, but a determined education that guides the direction.

A good father must set a good example for his children in terms of pattern and determination, which will determine the upper limit of what children can reach in the future.

03

Children have different genders and different father roles

Everyone says that adolescent boys tend to become "bad", and some psychologists say that whether adolescent boys become "bad" has a lot to do with whether they are with their fathers.

For boys, the father is a symbol of strength, the child will worship the father, for the adolescent boy, the father is like a moral force, he is always bound to the son's behavior.

Boys enter puberty, and the mother's discipline seems to have worked no longer for them.

Sometimes, in order to make the situation clear to the mother, they often even challenge the mother's power. At this time, the most important thing for the father to do is to stand with the mother, and the two people educate the son with the same attitude.

For adolescent girls, the influence of the father is greater than that of the mother, in addition to the father's bravery, generosity and other characteristics to adapt to the psychological characteristics of adolescent children, girls can also find an idealized image of the opposite sex from the father, learn how to get along with the opposite sex.

An adolescent girl who lacks paternal love is more likely to find fatherly love from men outside the family, especially when this love is suddenly lost, and it is difficult for children to face this trauma and blow.

04

99% of the success of the child comes from the change of the father 1%.

From childhood to adulthood, my father has always believed in a saying: there are no children who can't teach well, only fathers who can't teach!

When I rebelled and skipped school, he pulled me back from the brink of "bad boys".

Dad was particularly busy at work, going out early every day and often working late at night. Especially in the winter, when I woke up to school, he was already gone, and when I was ready to go to bed, he only crept in the door, and I could hardly see my father several times a month, and at that time I began to be dissatisfied with my father!

When I reached adolescence, almost all the friends around me were against the family, and they ran away from home if they were not happy, and of course I had to keep up with the pace of my partners. Not writing homework, talking back to teachers at school, taking frequent leave, even skipping school...

Finally, one day, when I was playing in the Internet café, I was caught by my father, he took me home, did not beat me or scold me, only said to me: "There are no children who can't teach well, only dads who can't teach!" I know the problem is with me, and from today on, I'll pick you up and drop you off at school every day! ”

In this way, dad changed the work and rest time that he had been accustomed to for more than ten years and fulfilled his promise, which made me feel the warmth of my father again, because my father's company all the time in those years allowed me to finally be admitted to a key university.

If you think your child has a lot of bad habits, remember that "if you want your child to change, you must first change it yourself."

When a child rebels, first of all, he must reflect on himself, whether he has spent enough time with the child, whether he has really spent his mind to understand the child.

When a child makes a mistake, he must first ask the reason, and then solve it, do not indiscriminately scold the child, learn to save face for the child, and be a seemingly confused but sober father!

05

10 tips for fathers of adolescent children

Being a good dad is never easy, and you'll need more responsibility, encouragement, communication, and help and understanding from family, friends, and colleagues.

It is more important to strengthen the relationship with the child. The following 10 tips are suitable for families with teenagers at home.

1. Be sure to send SMS and WeChat as much as possible to care about them

The content is short and focused on them and their lives. They may not react much at first, but as long as you keep doing it, they will take it seriously, although the mouth may not say it.

2. Join social networks (WeChat, Weibo, QQ, etc.) and "add children as friends"

If they don't add you to your buddy right away, don't care, because it usually takes some time, and try not to criticize.

3. Learn about the games they love

Most of the online games of this year can be played against people from all over the world. If your child likes to play online games, then you can play with him and even play with other fathers and sons.

4. Write a short book called "Life Lessons for a Dear Son (or Daughter)"

Write some of the most important lessons you've learned from life every week. Don't forget to write down how you learned these lessons, it will make them seem interesting and can help them get to know you better.

After every chapter, show it to them. Be sure to personalize the content and be appropriate for your child's reading age. Your children need to learn from your wisdom, and it's a great way to share it with them.

5. Support their activities

If your adolescent child is about to face some big event (such as a school competition), give him financial support so that he can celebrate in a very special way.

Be sure to attach a letter explaining how proud you are of him and how important it is to behave appropriately in such a big event.

6. Try to prepare meals for your child as carefully as possible

A father made breakfast for his daughter from the second year of junior high school, and insisted all the way until her junior year of high school. Fritters, porridge, buns, at first, his goal was to make his daughter "full." Later, how to make his daughter "eat well" became his "subject". Over the past few years, his daughter's personality has become more and more like his: optimistic, cheerful, humorous, grown to more than one meter and seven meters, and breakfast is indispensable.

7. Have a pleasant time to communicate every week

From the world situation, the era of intelligence, work confusion, learning bottlenecks, small to good friends, trivial daily life, free an hour of time every week, to a heart-to-heart conversation, I believe that two people can benefit a lot.

8. Plan your next family trip together

Think about what to do when you're together, and also involve your adolescent children in the program. It feels better to do these things together.

9. Establish a sense of ceremony

The form is not important, what is important is to establish a sense of ceremony that conveys the message you want to express.

10. Be sure to make your birthday a little special

This applies to kids of all ages, although sometimes teens act as if "birthdays aren't a big deal." But in fact, everyone, even teenagers, likes to have someone help him celebrate his birthday. It's only once a year, and that day never comes back, so celebrate.