Every child is cute, and they show a kind of child nature. However, we often judge a child by "good" and "bad" and label him. In the process of growing up, the biggest disadvantage of labeling is that the child has no self-confidence anymore. For children who are not strong in self-management, parents may wish to try the following 7 tips.
As a parent, please walk in with your child
What we have to do is to guide them to gradually become self-disciplined and sensible in a suitable situation. I often communicate with parents, and I say that no matter which teacher, classmate, or colleague has given up hope for their children, you can't give up.
An educator in the Soviet Union once said, "If I look for 100 ways and the child has not changed, I will look for the 101st." I often tell the teachers in the school, what does this sentence mean? As a teacher, you have no right to choose your child, you only have the right to choose your method; as a parent, you have no right to choose, so we can only walk into the child.
Moreover, when parents have a hard time having the opportunity to accompany their children, they say many times a day that the words are "you don't move" and "you have to obey"... In fact, the child does not understand what is called "do not move", and the parent always uses this kind of instructional language, the child will feel very nagging, the result is that the more the parent prevents the child from doing, the more the child wants to do. That's how the child's curiosity slowly shrinks.
Also, parents discipline their children about something, and as a result, because they are busy, they neglect to insist and check, things do not progress, and the next time they criticize their children, they add these things together, and then they are more and more, and finally they are beyond the child's tolerance.
7 tips to improve children's self-discipline
What do we do with children with poor self-discipline? There are several suggestions.
■ First, parents should have time to spend alone with their children. Thanks to the company of parents, children will have a sense of security.
■ The second is not to criticize the child in person, especially not in front of the little partner. Parents should try to avoid criticizing your child when he is depressed or excited.
■ The third is to put forward only one request at a time and stick to it for a period of time. If we ask our child a lot at once, he will be at a loss.
■ The fourth is to respect the child's choice, but also to provide a room for him to choose. For example, if you want him to do 10 questions today, you can ask him whether he will do 3 or 5 today and let him choose.
■ The fifth is to praise the specific behavior of the child's efforts, and less empty praise. We often say "you are awesome", I think this kind of encouragement is deserved, but it is best to encourage children to bring some changes through hard work, such as praising children, "see, today you wrote very seriously", "Today you gave Grandma a bowl of rice, really filial piety"... To put it in such a language. We must exaggerate one of his specific actions, referring to the fact that this thing has been praised by us.
■ Sixth, carefully observe some of the child's actions, and then exhort them later. When a child grows up, he will always have some movements that are different from those of adults. If you need him to be as generous as other children, you might as well go back and tell your child, "You see how well that little friend just now behaved, everyone knows a lot about him, can you do the same next time?" If you do, what kind of help would you like Mom and Dad to give you? In this way, the child will accept your growth advice to him, not the accusations against him.
■ Seventh, if the family engages in any activities, it is necessary to consult with the children in advance, so that the children can learn to participate in family affairs.
The core problem of parent-child relationship communication is: we must let children feel that no matter when, mom and dad are my strong backing, no matter which step I grow, my parents can give me a suggestion for growth. In this way, the child's growth will slowly move from dependence to autonomy, and self-management ability will become stronger and stronger.
[Source: Voice of Family Education, copyright belongs to the original author and original source.] 】
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