Wen | ShiXuan (Author of Fushu)
The rest of your life is very expensive, the circle does not have to be too big, it is good to be comfortable; friends do not need too much, confidant is good.
The philosopher Jim Ron once mentioned the "five-dimensional theory of close friends".
That is, a person's wealth and wisdom depends on the average of 5 friends who are intimate with him.
People influence each other. What happens to your life has to do with the people around you.
If we get closer to those who can nourish ourselves, we will get more blessings; if we get closer to the wrong people, we will only consume ourselves.
Time is precious, when pursuing friendship, you must know how to identify, walk with excellent people, and kick the following four people who consume you out of the circle of friends.
People who always like to correct others
Mencius said, "The afflictions of man are good teachers." ”
Sincerely, sometimes we will always substitute ourselves into the lives of others, regard ourselves as the benchmark of others, stand in the so-called God's perspective, and point fingers at other people's lives.
But in the long run, it will make you become a "good teacher" and disgusting.
My colleague Xiao Li told me that she had blocked a friend, even though the friend was self-disciplined, beautiful, intelligent and capable.
After some understanding, I understood Xiao Li's approach very well.
It turned out that no matter what Xiao Li did, this friend would correct her. Over time, this frustrated her, and she repeatedly fell into a vortex of self-doubt.
Xiao Li punched the net red shop to send a circle of friends, she commented: "There is time and spare money to spend in this kind of place, it is better to go to work." ”
Xiao Li wanted to start a business, she said: "With your current conditions, your ability to resist risks is weak, just do your job well." ”
Xiao Li wanted to change her dressing style, she said: "This style is not suitable for you, it seems too mature." ”
Over time, because of the fear of being "corrected", Xiao Li did not dare to easily express his views and preferences, and getting along with this friend also became a burden.
Schopenhauer once said, "When talking to others, we must restrain the impulse to correct others, even if we do so out of kindness." ”
Indeed, many times, we always want to participate in the lives of others, correct others in the name of love, and point out the lives of others under the banner of "good for you".
Living according to one's own will is not selfish, asking others to live according to one's own will is selfish.
True goodwill is not to measure others by their own scales and standards, but to have the greatest respect and kindness for others.
In the second half of life, please put away your "goodwill", learn to restrain yourself to correct the desires of others, and put away the attachment of wanting to transform others.
Too shrewd people
I have seen a sentence: "Anyone who is too smart and calculating is actually a very unfortunate person." ”
It is true that some people who are too shrewd always play the abacus very well, but they do not know that everyone has a scale in their hearts, and the calculation is more, the human feelings are slowly exhausted, the feelings are scattered, and finally they end up empty.
In "Twenty Not Confused", there is a very shrewd girl named Big Cake.
Once, ginger small fruit, stone, and flatbread ate hot pot together, and Xiaoguo and Stone ordered what they liked to eat, but the big cake ordered half a baby dish.
At checkout, The Pie proposed the AA system and promised to share the money for the doll's dish on the grounds that she only ordered half of the baby cabbage.
After that, when it was really time to pay for each other, the pie could not be paid under the guise of a mobile phone without power, and the small fruit that had already anticipated this situation did not hurry to hand the charging treasure to the pie, and there was no excuse for the pie.
The two were furious at her behavior, and after checking out, they asked the waiter to take away the leftovers and leave.
At this time, the pie asked for a new duck intestine on the grounds that the waiter took the meal without her consent, and if he did not do it, he would complain, which made the waiter aggrieved.
The self-righteous pie was severely beaten by the waiter on the way home, and his reputation was ruined, and he was also seen through by Xiaoguo and Shi, and he never interacted with her again.
In life, no one is a fool, and no one wants to be treated as a fool by others all the time.
Zi Xin once said: "Those who are too shrewd and calculating should not be deeply friends." ”
If we deal with people who are too shrewd, we will make ourselves insecure and tired to get along with, because we have to be wary of how not to be calculated and used by them, so it is the best policy to stay away from such people.
People who are too shrewd, seem to take advantage, but will lose more in another invisible place.
The more people want to take advantage, the more they suffer losses; the more they calculate others, the ultimate calculation is themselves.
May you and I be able to stay away from people who are too shrewd, always have a generous heart, and treat people sincerely.
Grumbling people
Confucius once said: "Enter the room of Zhilan for a long time without smelling its fragrance, and enter the abalone for a long time without smelling its smell." ”
It is true that man is the only creature to be suggested, and if he is with a person with negative energy for a long time, he himself will become unhappy.
Knowingly, a netizen told his own experience.
She has a good friend she has known for more than ten years and likes to complain the most.
Went to school, complained that the school was not good, the teacher was not good enough, and the classmates isolated her;
Worked, complained about the company's low salary, and colleagues cheated on me;
In life, complaining that the house is not good, the other half is not considerate enough...
Every day she complains, seeing that everyone has a negative filter, and even the content of the chat between the two is 80% of her complaints.
At first, netizens thought that she just loved to complain, but then netizens found that they inadvertently became negative, and they also looked at things in the worst direction, and negative energy had seriously affected her life, so they completely blacked her.
The book "The Law of the Garbage Truck" mentions:
"Many people are like garbage trucks, they are running around filled with garbage, full of chagrin, anger, disappointment, and as the garbage piles higher and higher, they need to find a place to dump it."
If you give them a chance, they'll dump the garbage on you. ”
People are easily affected by the environment, and once we get close to people who are full of complaints and full of negative energy, our lives will be full of haze.
Life is really hard, no one is not difficult, let alone pay for the bad emotions of others. Therefore, when encountering such a person, we must withdraw in time to stay away.
In the second half of life, may we all stay away from negative people, get closer to positive people, absorb positive energy, and grow into a small sun on earth!
People who are inconsistent in appearance
As the saying goes: "The sky can be measured, the earth can be measured, and only the human heart cannot be prevented." ”
In interpersonal communication, some people push your heart and say nothing one second, but the next second they will stab you in the back.
The bad guys that appear on the surface are not terrible, because we can be wary and avoid them.
The "fake good guys" who are inconsistent in appearance are often more terrible than the real bad guys who directly disagree with you.
In the TV series "Tiger Mother and Cat Father", the new employee Huang Li is a scheming workplace newcomer, who looks enthusiastic and cheerful on the surface, but in fact is a shrewd and fierce person who will stop at nothing to achieve the goal.
In order to gain the trust of her boss Bi Shengnan, Huang Li pretended to be good and helped Bi Shengnan's daughter get a place to enroll.
Bi Shengnan is grateful to Huang Li for helping her daughter get her admission qualifications, feels that Huang Li is a subordinate of personal beauty and kindness, pushes her to her, introduces her customer resources, and sends her notes from her past work experience.
Just when Bi Shengnan was busy with his family and lack of skills, Huang Li complained to the leader, took away Bi Shengnan's project, and seized the opportunity to take away Bi Shengnan's position.
People with different appearances will flatter you and swear at you when you are profitable; when you are down, they will want to stomp on you.
On the surface, it looks like it is for the sake of people, but in fact, it is harmful to others and self-interest, and the mouth is full of swords, which makes people invincible.
Do not have deep friendships with such people, keep a certain distance, and do not have too many entanglements of interests.
People's hearts are unpredictable, don't be too kind, and don't casually show your hole cards, otherwise others will think you are really stupid.
When people meet people, they rely on fate; people get along with people, rely on sincerity, and getting along with those who are face-to-face and set behind them is tantamount to digging a pit for themselves.
If there are such people around you, you should stay away in time, may you and I not have such a small person around, we are all people with the most affection.
Life is a long road, and not everyone you meet has meaning to you.
A good friend is mutually recognizable, mutually progressive, mutually accomplished, bringing you hope and ease and pleasure, rather than exhaustion and consumption.
Always correct other people, when far away;
People who are too shrewd, when judged;
The grumbling man, dangsha;
People who are inconsistent in appearance, when left.
The rest of your life is very expensive, the circle does not have to be too big, it is good to be comfortable; friends do not need too much, confidant is good.
In the second half of your life, may you all polish your eyes, choose the good and make friends, and live freely and comfortably.
About the author: Shi Xuan, and 5 million people to upgrade the cognition of life, the source of this article: Fu Xiaoshu, the copyright of this article belongs to Fushu, unauthorized, may not be reproduced, infringement must be investigated
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