After marriage, live with your in-laws or as a young couple? Many people will choose the latter, but the choice is choice, and sometimes the reality is helpless.
Self-narrator: Linlin
The year before, my husband and I got married after being introduced, which was also a quick decision. After all, they are all almost 30 years old, and there is not so much time to wait for wandering.
My husband is four years older than me, he is a technical otaku, working in a scientific research institute. 211 master's degree graduates. The salary is not high, but the unit benefits are very good, and it is close to home. Of course, this home refers to the in-laws' house. It's a ten-minute walk. Not far from my unit, it is within half an hour.
This is also the reason why my husband insists on living with his in-laws after marriage, he wants to work close, and his parents have prepared meals, help him wash his clothes, and don't live too comfortably.
We actually have a marriage room, which my husband bought before marriage and has not yet been renovated. It is because I plan to live with my in-laws, so I did not decorate, saying that I will say that I will say it later when I have children, otherwise I will be old now, and the style will not keep up. If a child is studying, then consider moving over, because the school district is good there.
There was no problem, the problem was that my husband had a sister, two years older than him. Divorced a few months ago, took the children back to the in-laws' house to live together. You said that the living is crowded, it is not, because the in-laws belong to the duplex, four rooms, and a large courtyard of more than a hundred square meters, now we use three rooms, and there is a room empty. It's just that my sister's child is five years old, a little noisy, and belongs to the very skinny kind.
As you know, children burn a lot of money. This kid had to drink fresh milk every morning, or the best, and he had to book hundreds of dollars a month. Then eat vegetables and eat fruits, the cost is also large, all borne by the in-laws. The child had an annual pass in a nearby amusement park, and my father-in-law paid without blinking, more than 2,000, and I was distressed to see it.
I said to my husband, your sister will not give living expenses when she comes home to live? Isn't this a divorce and a share of the money? My husband said that I have many troubles, that is also his parents are willing, they do not accept, what about me, and it is not easy for my sister to take the child alone.
For this matter, I told my mother-in-law that it was not appropriate to live for a long time. My mother-in-law understood what I meant, and felt that I hated my eldest sister for not paying living expenses, plus there was a child, although they added up to more than 10,000 retirement salaries, they still did not spend.
Then the mother-in-law made a strange decision, let the eldest sister with a monthly salary of 8,000 yuan pay 3,000 yuan for living expenses, and in order to treat everyone equally, she also let me pay 3,000. In other words, my husband only has an average of 8.9 thousand per month, while I am only more than 4,000 a month, and I may not have enough to spend on my own. The husband's own expenses, although he can control within 1000, but save the money for decoration. If you give 3,000 living expenses, it is enough to spend, which is simply stretched.
Well, I think I dug a hole for myself, saying that my in-laws' own retirement salary of more than 10,000 yuan is actually enough for family expenses. Oh, you say, should I pay this money?
Write at the back:
I think it is completely fine for my in-laws to do this, so why should my daughter pay living expenses and my daughter-in-law not? As long as the eldest sister does not infringe on your interests very excessively, she still turns a blind eye.
After all, the in-laws are spending their own money, and you are also an essential rubbing, so don't care about them.
Of course, if you really can't see it, you can try to move out as soon as possible to live alone with your husband, this is not a ready-made house, work hard, save some money to decorate it, and it is convenient to raise children later.
Being kind to others is also kindness to oneself. At the same time, people's hearts are all flesh, if you are a little more tolerant and help your eldest sister through the most difficult moments, then she will definitely be extremely grateful. Good luck.
Discussion: Do you think your mother-in-law is a bit excessive in doing this?