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Since ancient times, China has been a clan-style social relationship, a very important part of the social relationship between relatives. They are often related by blood, share a common environment of growth, family members, and common interests.
When you have some difficulties, the first person to think of it is often relatives who help you with. The relationship between relatives is also a science, and some things should be done less no matter how close the relationship is, otherwise it is easy to get a vendetta.
One: Borrow money
The most effective way to ruin a relationship is to borrow money.
Modern people have a lot of pressure in life, the cost of living is high, and anyone may encounter a time when the turnover is not open, and how to seek help at this time is a headache.
It is not that relatives cannot borrow money, but this mouth must be opened less, and when it is not a last resort, do not easily ask relatives and say the word "borrow".
When you ask to borrow money, you are actually throwing the problem to the other party, whether he borrows or not, it is a dilemma.
If he chooses to lend it to you, he takes the risk himself, because he doesn't know when you will
still
Whether you can pay it back as promised. Relatives are not embarrassed to charge interest, this money is equivalent to making you use it for such a long time.
Although the number may not be much, but every penny is not easy to come by, and it is inevitable that others will have some knots in their hearts.
If you don't borrow him, you have to worry about whether it will affect the relationship between relatives, whether you will bear a name of being rich and unkind, cold-blooded and selfish, after all, there is a layer of kinship, and many things cannot tear up the face.
Therefore, opening your mouth to borrow money from relatives is a test for yourself and for each other. If you really want to borrow money from relatives as a last resort, then you must do these several things.
First of all, you can't carry out moral kidnapping, you have to know whether others are willing to lend you money, it's his freedom. Willing to borrow is a sentiment, not to borrow is a duty, and there is never a relationship that must help you.
The family has a difficult scripture, and perhaps he also has his difficulties, so be sure to make it clear in advance: If you are inconvenient at hand, then I did not say it.
Second, be sure to clarify the timing of repayment and repay it on time.
When you borrow money, you should clearly tell the other party when the money can be repaid, and it is best to have normal contact with relatives during this period, tell him that you still remember this matter, and then you will return the money on time to reassure the other party.
If there is really no way to repay the money on time, then you must also make it clear to others in advance, ask for his understanding and forgiveness, and must not delay it again and again, others do not open their mouths to find you, you will treat it as if there is no such thing. In this way you not only consume your kinship, but you also ruin your reputation.
Finally, if economic conditions permit, you can pay back some more interest appropriately, after all, other people's money is also hard earned, and it is also reasonable to give more interest compensation. Even if he doesn't accept it in the end, you express your attitude.
Two: Meddling in other people's family affairs
As the saying goes, it is difficult for a clean official to break the housework, and the most difficult thing in the world to deal with is the family affairs behind closed doors.
No matter how close your relationship is, as long as you are not a member of his small family, it is best not to mix with other people's chores.
You don't live with them, you don't participate in the development of things the whole time, and you don't have the emotional basis to live with them. The information you get is one-sided, no matter what kind of position and mentality you want to help people solve problems, you must first see if you have the qualifications.
Rushing to intervene in the housework between relatives is easy to end up not being human.
If things are resolved smoothly, it is okay, in case something changes in the end, the final spearhead will be directed at you.
Others will blame you for being nosy, the matters in your own home can be solved by yourself, and you don't need to intervene as an outsider, it is because you have inserted this foot, so things have gone to a worse end.
Obviously you are kind, but in the end you ended up complaining.
The interaction between relatives should also have a sense of boundary, and not interfering in other people's housework is the most important boundary.
The relationship between relatives is not just supported by blood relations. Feelings are all out of contact, and exchanges must also pay attention to methods, and we cannot be implicated in such a blood relationship, so we should give and demand from relatives and point fingers, otherwise even the thickest family affection will be consumed.