Text 丨 Wang Anyi
Anchor 丨 Autumn Sun
Spring afternoons are often sad for me. The brighter the spring light, the stronger the mood of sorrow, so that it turns into sadness. It is not the meaning of Si Chun, in fact, it should be simple and clear. It seems that, just one thought, such a good day, how to spend it?
And most of my days I sit indoors. Looking at such a lively and beautiful day, the irretrievable inch by inch of the past, gradually fading color, sinking into the twilight, it is really anxious! Such thick turmeric, seemingly incomparably rich in light, passed by the wall in front of it, past. You don't have time to do what you want to do, you can live up to it, it's already over.
On a rainy day, this anxiety will be better! Because of the not so precious weather, time has also become soothing and not oppressive. And in that good weather, I was sad!
Contrary to this sense of urgency, from twelve o'clock in the afternoon, time has become incomparably long, and the long one is a bit long. And its lengthy bit didn't make things calm. On the contrary, the anxiety is magnified, prolonged and intensified, and it is even more impatient, and every minute does not relax its torturous torture: What is valuable? The answer is nothing and restless.
As the temperature rises, the air becomes dry and clear. The space suddenly expands a lot. Thus, the sense of emptiness rises. It was an endless void that could not grasp anything. The endocrine of the human body is rearranged and combined in a change of air flow invisible to the naked eye.
The two do not know what kind of relationship, those separated, but really really are acting, otherwise, it can not be explained. In such a bright light and color, why do you feel depressed?
Only when melancholy becomes a physiological disease will we face the sentimentality of spring. It was a deep understanding and fear of time. Time awoke from the gray hibernation, bulging into the hazy attention, so bright, brightly snaked by. This melancholy in the brilliant light is simply unsaved.
You expect to switch from your nap for an hour or two, but you can't. In the eye, time goes more slowly. There was the pressure of light on the eyelids, the darkness that penetrated into the eyelids, and there was a strange activity, out of tune with the rhythm inside the body and mind, confused. Time barely moves.
So you will look at it carefully, feel guilty that you can't stand it, and waste it. Painfully, the brightness and briskness on the outside coexist with the grayness and stagnant weight on the inside. You look at it and feel its warmth, but you can't go in, or you can't walk out. The two are close to the end of the world, and the good times are so stinging in the heart, and the feelings are severely damaged.
It was hard to stay up until about three o'clock, and the depths of the afternoon were like the bottom of the valley. The sunshine outside is the most vigorous, but the heart is the most tormented, even in the dry cement forest, there will always be birds chirping. However, even if it is called under your feet, it sounds like another space, an inexplicable space.
At the end of the day, the yellow underneath began to spread up and up. For a few minutes, it was really gold-like yellow and bright. All objects are glowing and reflecting at the same time. So it was colorful. But how brilliant it is on the outside, how dark it is on the inside. Inside and out. Strive to achieve a coordinated balance. This is a most conflicting phase, there is no hope of reconciliation in sight, and under this shower of golden light you can only respond to it with weeping.
You can't say anything about it, it's sadness. You can't bear its goodness, you can only live up to it. Moreover, you know best in your heart that once it is over, it will never come back. You have done nothing and can never get it back. At this time, there is a feeling of death. In the spring light, it was very dramatic. If it comes down to it, it's crying for this.
One more step further down, the dust is near. The light particles in the air gradually collapsed. The contrast between the inside and outside was no longer so sharp, and both sides weakened and began to relax. But the light color is still lingering. So the commotion did not stop. But the intense pain subsided and turned into lingering depression.
All afternoon, in fact, nothing can be done, just sit dry, watching the flame of time burning, the heart is scorched, and scarred, do not know what to put in this time, can eliminate its sense of nothingness, the sense of emptiness. Time is naked in front of you, and then it passes, never to return.
Gradually, the fiery time of the afternoon slowed down the oppression, and you think it is good or good, it is no longer so inaccessible. The turning point of things, I can't say how it started, whether there is an opportunity, it seems to be boiling up, better to survive, so you can divide the snacks, turn your face to take care of yourself.
Back home from the bright light, the darkness inside is reassuring, but what about the brightness of the outdoors? Because fang cai came from there, he also felt that it was not so separated. Or leisurely reading a book. Lines of words pass through the eyelids, leaving little impression. They all recognize it, and they form sentences, but they don't understand its meaning.
If you don't understand, you don't understand, anyway, it's time-consuming. The mind moves forward between the tracks of the word line, and derailment is derailment, but it also has a range, it will not be boundless, and there is nowhere to scratch. All of a sudden, it dispersed.
Now, it was flowing in the riverbed, spilling out a little, and soon it was back in. Many books have been read in this wandering of thoughts. It's really just two words to read: time. Time disintegrates in a single word, and it becomes easy to swallow.
Especially on this particularly bright and feminine day, you feel that your life, no matter what, is not worthy of it. You must go through the experience of melancholy to have resistance, to resist the temptations of spring.
Sounds good
Author: Wang Anyi, contemporary writer and writer, representative works include "Long Hate Song", "Xiao Baozhuang", "Passing" and so on.
Anchor 丨Qiu yang
He is a member of Henan Recitation Association.
Interpret the beautiful life with sound, and feel the warm autumn sun with sincerity.
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Edited by 丨 Qiu Man