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My name is Xiaofang, I am 22 years old, and I am a simple and lovely girl. I have a boyfriend named Phoenix and we've been dating for a year. He was two years older than me and was a mature and steady man.
I couldn't wait to ask Phoenix, "Really, are you going to take me back to my hometown for the New Year?"
Phoenix nodded with a smile and said, "Yes, I want my parents to meet you, are you willing to go back to your hometown with me for the New Year?"
"Of course I do!" I happily said, "I can't wait to meet my aunt and uncle!
"You don't have to worry about this, I'll prepare. Phoenix said mildly.
First of all, I bought a lot of clothes and had to prepare a new set of clothes for each of my uncles and aunts. Then I chose the most expensive health care products to replenish the body of the two elderly people. I also bought a high-end digital photo frame to put a photo of the two of us in it. By the way, how could I forget to buy the gift money!
The gifts in the shopping cart were piling up more and more, and I couldn't help but send a WeChat message to Phoenix to show off: "Honey, look at what good things I have bought! Your parents will be very happy!"
I was a little puzzled and quickly asked him, "Why, these are all gifts that I have carefully selected." ”
"I understand your good intentions, but we also have to consider the actual situation," Phoenix said.
Phoenix's words disappointed me, and I asked him puzzledly, "But I chose these gifts with my heart, and they are not too expensive, right?"
Phoenix patiently explained: "I know that Xiaofang is a good intention, but we also have to consider the actual situation. My family is simple, and my parents don't like gifts that are too flashy, they just want their children to be happy. ”
"A good impression is one that relies on sincerity, not on expensive gifts," Phoenix said. I know my parents, they value you more as a person than what you give. ”
When I heard this, I was still a little unconvinced: "Then wouldn't it be a waste if I bought so many things?"
Phoenix smiled and said, "It won't be wasted, don't worry, I'll find a way to dispose of it." However, in order to avoid any further misunderstandings, let me make a list of gifts for you to go home, can you take a look?"
I thought about it for a while, and felt that what Phoenix said made sense, so I said, "Okay, then you say, according to your idea, what gift should we prepare?"
I nodded, "What about the digital photo frame? I want to surprise your family." ”
"This is okay, but it doesn't need to be too high-end, the mid-range is fine, and the most important thing is the photos inside. Phoenix said.
He continued: "Then it is better to prepare some daily necessities, such as tea, dried fruits, etc., which are more popular and practical gifts in my hometown. Finally, there is the gift money, one or two hundred yuan is enough, it doesn't need too much, the important thing is the heart. ”
After listening to Phoenix's suggestion, I couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed when I looked at the large number of things I bought. Maybe Phoenix was right, I was really too excited and bought too many impractical gifts.
"I'm sorry, I didn't think it through. I was a little embarrassed to say.
"It's okay, it's normal that you don't understand. Phoenix comforted me and said, "I just suddenly informed you that you were too excited for a while to control it. No
However, through this experience, I also realized that I am prone to impulsiveness and blindly make many irrational decisions when I am in love.
I began to reflect on whether this was too much and whether I should maintain a certain ego and rationality instead of dedicating myself wholeheartedly to the relationship.
Phoenix thought for a moment and said, "I understand your feelings of loving someone with all your heart. But it is true that it is also important to maintain oneself and not completely change oneself just because you love someone. ”
I nodded and continued, "You're right. I think I need to find some rationality and maintain my independence and social circle, instead of relying on you alone. I'll try to make a difference. ”
"I appreciate your introspection. "You have to believe that true love will make both parties better, not lose yourself." ”
This exchange made me see the essence of the problem and made me fall in love with Phoenix even more. We decided to give each other more space in this relationship, not constraints; Give support, not control; Maintain trust, not oversight.
I started to take the initiative to hang out with my friends and sign up for some interest classes in an effort to enrich my life. Phoenix also encouraged me to get involved in social activities and meet new people.
When I stopped relying too much on the relationship, I found that our relationship was stronger because we got along on the basis of equality and mutual trust. I have also become more rational and no longer easily carried away by love.
When we returned to Phoenix's hometown hand in hand, I traveled lightly and prepared some simple gifts. When I met Phoenix's parents, I naturally mingled with them and didn't deliberately please them.
It was a very heartwarming trip, and I finally understood that going home is not about preparing gorgeous gifts, but about genuinely communicating with my family and integrating into this big family.
During the few days I spent at Phoenix's house, I helped my aunt with housework, chatted with my uncle, and was pestered by Phoenix's little sister to tell stories to make her laugh. This simple family atmosphere makes me feel extremely warm.
One day, my uncle suddenly said to me, "Xiaofang, listen to Phoenix, you have been reflecting on some of your actions recently, which requires courage and wisdom. Being able to recognize the problem is already a good start. ”
I was a little surprised that my uncle would suddenly say this, but I still said sincerely: "Yes uncle, I have learned a lot in this relationship, and the most precious thing is to stay rational and not lose yourself easily." ”
Uncle nodded and said, "It's hard to keep your sanity in your relationship, but it's necessary. It's not just about your personal growth, it's also about your future and Phoenix's. ”
"I will remember my uncle's teachings. I say from the bottom of my heart.
That night, Phoenix suddenly said to me, "Xiaofang, I want to thank you. ”
I was puzzled and asked, "Thank me for what?"
"Thank you for your understanding and trust. Before, I was afraid that directly breaking your 'love brain' would hurt you, but your introspection surprised me. Phoenix said seriously.
I also solemnly said, "No, it was your wisdom that changed me." Thank you for being so patient in guiding me instead of criticizing me directly. ”
"Haha, we've perfected each other. Phoenix smiled happily.
I couldn't help but laugh too. Indeed, an ideal relationship should not be about changing the other person, but about making the other person better. My relationship with Phoenix is moving in this direction.
After returning to the city, I continued to try to regain more rationality and independence, and Phoenix also gave me more space. He no longer took care of me in every detail, but as a partner, he gave me support and encouragement.
I will also take the initiative to care about his life, rather than just immersing myself in my own little world. We share our joys, worries, and growth with each other.
The sublimation of this relationship made me see the essence of love. Love is not dependence, but making both parties a better version of themselves; Not control, but trust; It is not about becoming one, but about mutual respect for each person's independent personality.
One day, I excitedly said to Phoenix, "Honey, I'm going to sign up for a travel photography contest, and if I win, I can go on a free trip to Iceland!"
In the past, I would be cautious about asking Phoenix for advice, for fear that he would object to me going that far. But now I tell him what I think directly, because I know he will support me in pursuing my dreams.
Phoenix said happily, "That's great! You can definitely win the prize, I support you very much." ”
"Thank you!" I happily said, "I'm going to try to get there." ”
"Don't forget to send me more pictures. If you could actually go to Iceland, I would be very happy for you. Phoenix said.
I nodded, touched by his thoughtfulness and support. Before, I was always worried that Phoenix would oppose me doing something I loved, but now I finally dare to boldly pursue my dreams, thanks to his encouragement.
The process of participating in the competition was very difficult, and I had to squat in the cold weather to shoot the sunrise, and sometimes I would complain to the phoenix in the group chat. He always patiently persuaded me to cheer up and provided me with logistical support when I needed it.
Finally, on a sunny morning, I captured the perfect moment and took a picture of the winning piece! I excitedly shared it with Phoenix, who was incredibly proud of me.
And so I won the travel photo contest and went to Iceland with Phoenix. Standing under the Northern Lights, I deeply felt that rational love can fulfill each other's dreams without becoming a stumbling block.
The relationship went through ups and downs, but it was finally on the right path. I learned to love myself and to love him; In my relationship, I retain both rationality and enthusiasm; I became a better version of myself and he became a better version of myself.
There may be difficulties and trials in all loves, but as long as both parties uphold reason and patience, they will definitely be able to turn the danger into a lasting relationship.
My story with Phoenix continues, but I know that with him, I will get better and better. I will also do my best to support him in pursuing his dreams and be a solid backing for him.
When you love someone, you must also love yourself; When you give for love, learn to set limits. That's what I've learned most from this relationship.
It's the anniversary again, and I excitedly ask Phoenix, "Let's try not to repeat the date location this year, let's go to a new place to celebrate!"
Phoenix smiled and said, "Okay, do you have any new ideas?"
I said, "We can go camping in the countryside, have a barbecue in the evening, and if the weather is nice, we can watch the stars!" ”
Phoenix nodded: "That's a good idea! ”
In the past, I would have simply assumed that Phoenix would be in charge of all the plans, but now I will take the initiative to come up with ideas and actively participate in them. We happily planned this anniversary trip together.
Finally, the date day came. We drove to the outskirts and came to a scenic campsite. I was busy setting up my tent, and Phoenix was busy making a fire and grilling.
After dinner, we snuggled together and looked at the bright stars in the night sky. I happily said, "Thank you for accompanying me to fulfill this dating wish." ”
"I also enjoyed my time today," Phoenix said. We can come here more often for camping in the future, and it would be nice to change the environment. ”
"That's right!" I chimed in, "We can plan more trips like this together and explore more beautiful places!"
Phoenix smiled and shook my hand: "As long as it's with you, I'll be happy wherever I go." ”
I blushed and smiled. With Phoenix, I feel extremely happy and satisfied.
We had an unforgettable anniversary. This time, instead of relying too heavily on Phoenix, I took the initiative to come up with the idea; He also gave me full respect and support.
It made me understand that the longevity of a relationship depends on mutual understanding, trust and fulfillment. When both parties strive to be a better version of themselves, the flower of love will continue to bloom.
I will continue to try to be rational, but I will not lose my enthusiasm either; I will continue to grow, but I will also keep my heart in mind.
Some people say that after the period of love is over, the love will gradually fade. But I know that as long as both parties have ideals in their hearts, the flame of love will never be extinguished.
This is my love story with Phoenix. It may be simple, but it's real and warm.