During the Song Dynasty, Wang Anshi became the prime minister and specially met with Su Shi.
苏轼问：“鸠字九鸟，可知有故？”
Wang Anshi thought about it and couldn't answer.
Su Shi said with a smile: "There is a cloud in "Mao's Poems": 'The dove is in Sang, and his son is seven. 'Even the mother and the master, there are nine in total. ”
It is true that in a family, there are several children, but their personalities are different and their natures are very different. There are also children whose conduct is very different from that of their parents.
When children are young, they are the treasures of their parents' palms, even if the children are willful, they are also childlike and can be tolerant.
When the parents are old and the children are grown, the relationship between parents and children is very different. There are always some children who have lost their filial piety, and there are also some children who are born to repay their kindness.
Generally speaking, the following kinds of children are the nobles of their parents' lives, don't miss them.
01
A child who is upright, leading the family style.
Many children, who have been Xi to obeying their parents since childhood, are parents who are wrong, will not refute, and will still "blindly follow".
Listening to one's parents for everything is actually a weak and incompetent behavior, and they have no own opinions, and they will later become "foolish and filial".
Those upright children are very assertive, and if their parents are wrong, they will point it out directly; if their parents have conflicts with others or the rights and wrongs within the family, they can also judge fairly, and they are not "protecting their shortcomings" for their parents.
Righteousness comes from reading, thinking, and a deep understanding of things.
In "Yu Shi Mingyan", there is a woman named Mei who married the local rich man Ni Taishou and gave birth to a son, Ni Shanshu.
Before Ni Taishou married Mei, he had a marriage and gave birth to a son, Ni Shanji.
When Ni Taishou passed away, Ni Shanji was the boss, and according to the feudal idea of "father dies and obeys son", Mei's rest of his life had to obey Ni Shanji's arrangement.
Sadly, Ni Shanji wanted to swallow the family wealth alone, and drove Mei and Ni Shanshu to live in a dilapidated house, without even giving a decent piece of land.
As time went on, Ni Shanshu grew up and read a few books. He felt more and more that there was a problem with the distribution of family property, so despite the obstruction of his family, he went to the yamen to complain that he needed to redistribute the family property.
Finally, under the auspices of the county lord Teng Dayin, Ni Taishou's suicide note was reinterpreted. Naturally, Mei got half of the property and lived a good life ever since.
Many people think that an "obedient" child is a good child and a reflection of a good family style. In fact, this is not the case, the real good boy is a person who talks about morality and respects the law.
In any family, there are no rules, and there is no square circle.
The child who dares to set rules, use rules, and take up the law to protect the family, the parents will not really suffer, and the development of the family will not deviate.
02
A very soft-hearted child who knows how to be filial.
Why is it that in many families, the children who are loved by their parents do not be filial to their parents, but those who are despised by their parents are more filial?
Children can't bear to hurt their parents and abandon their extended family, so they will give back to their parents.
Compared with those hard-hearted children and soft-hearted children, they give more love for the big family.
A ruthless person can turn his face with his family at any time, or even leave and not return home for many years. Even if his parents died, he could not be contacted. Such a person, talking about filial piety, is simply a mouthful.
As the ancients said: "The noble man is said to be righteous, and the villain is said to be profitable." ”
On the Zhihu platform, there is an anonymous female netizen who recounted her experience.
She was born into a rural family, and her parents worked for a living. The mother manages the family property.
When she was in high school, she paid an extra 6,000 yuan in borrowing fees because she was not admitted to the guaranteed student, and her mother has always been haunted by it. In addition, it is puzzling that my grandfather's family is patriarchal, but my mother tried her best to help my uncle (my mother's older brother).
finally encountered the opportunity to be demolished, and the family got a demolition money, which was also under the care of his mother. But her mother was still asking her to continue to send money home even if she was already working.
Judging from the accounts of netizens, the resentment towards her mother is very deep, but she will still send money home, which shows that netizens are soft-hearted and unwilling to hurt their mother.
All kinds of unaccustomed contradictions, conflicts between parents and children, and economic disputes were eventually resisted emotionally.
Writer Zhang Xiaoxian said: "The weakest thing about people is reluctance." ”
But when a person can't give up his feelings, no matter how difficult and bitter he is, he will still be filial to his parents, and the blood love can be retained. Parents rely on soft-hearted children to live a stable life in the second half of their lives.
03
Children who dare to walk alone can make a difference.
Many parents believe that when their children grow up, they will be noble if they stay by their side and be able to take care of their diet and daily life.
Ask yourself, if your child can't even earn her own daily expenses, what can you use to be filial to your parents?
Filial piety costs money, and it is not as simple as a few words.
keeps saying "I love you, I take care of you", but every day there is no rice in the pot, such love, don't do it.
Those children who dare to walk alone will keep their distance from their parents, but they will also quickly get rid of the shackles of their original family, so as to embark on the road of prosperity and prosperity, and improve their ability to be filial.
From Long Yingtai's "Seeing Away", you can feel the meaning of "the child walks alone" - the so-called father-daughter-mother-son game just means that the fate between you and him is this life and this life, constantly watching his back gradually drift away.
Reality tells us that many families have indeed become rich because their children go out to work.
In some families, children go out to work, and then buy a house in the city, and their parents also go to the city to enjoy happiness. Compared with those old people who have faced the loess all their lives and turned their backs to the sky, their parents in the city are still very good, and they are not so hard in old age.
Don't complain that the child is rebellious and disobedient. It is human beings, they all have personalities, and they must release their own nature and be themselves.
04
Zeng Guofan said: "Having a good heart is a noble appearance, humility and tolerance are noble appearances, and having a return to things is a noble appearance." ”
The nobles in the parents' lives are really not outsiders, but their own children. In the future, don't just say, "I don't rely on children."
When your parents can't walk, no matter how good outsiders are, they won't take care of you, but for the sake of money, they will shout at you. Only children can take care of their parents for free.
If you meet soft-hearted, upright, and independent children, parents should cherish fate, give more love, and don't spoil those useless children.
Charles Dickens said, "To be reliable is to be trusted." ”
Finally, I hope that the children of the world can hold up their elderly parents, and Been will take revenge.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.