The festival is not rolled, just on the hour.
Today's Spring Festival holiday + Valentine's Day, be lazy, and share with you an old article after revision, according to the number of readers and the proportion of followers, at least 95% of followers have not read it.
1
I've been asked what I think of younger people's relationships.
Not young people, but younger than young.
Especially if I don't already have children, what do I think of my children's love when they are studying in the future?
Let's put it this way, I think it's a little early to fall in love in elementary school, and it's natural to fall in love in middle school.
It's not nonsense, I'm like that myself.
My first love was when I was in middle school, and my parents were very tolerant of it, and I didn't hide it from them, I didn't need to hide it at all.
My dad even had a violent argument that the love when he was a student was the only beautiful and pure love in his life, and if he missed it, he missed it, so as long as he didn't get to the point of not studying, he could enjoy it.
Of course, he knew that he was too worried, because even if I didn't fall in love, I didn't study, and if I didn't fall in love, I used my time to play games and read novels.
So in the future, I am also open to my children's love.
2
Well, the above is nonsense, and the next is the more realistic thing.
I ask you, man, how many times do you want to be reincarnated in your life?
The answer is 2 times.
Birth, and marriage.
Birth is an optional reincarnation, and marriage is an optional reincarnation, both of which can make a huge and irreversible change in your life.
In contrast, although the college entrance examination and work are also important, really important, but if you fail the college entrance examination, the results are seen immediately, and you can even repeat it for another year, and you still have a chance.
If you fail at work, you can change jobs, take the exam, or even re-enter the graduate school and become a new graduate.
But love is not the same as marriage, this is something that will make you lose all the fruits of your life.
No kidding, really no kidding.
I am already middle-aged, and over the years, I have seen too many proud sons of heaven who have put all their efforts into trouble because of love problems or marriage problems.
Everyone knows the importance of reading and learning, and knows that a good school can make life climb higher.
But marriage, a wrong and unhappy marriage.
It will directly ruin life.
I am from a risk control background, what I do is to cover the business risks, no matter how big the business is done in front, if the essence is wrong, then no matter how big the business collapses, it will be a moment.
So the matter of love really has to be taken very seriously.
This year's academic qualifications may not be able to give you a backdrop, but an unhappy marriage will most likely help you slide the slide.
From a risk perspective, love is just as important as birth.
The most troublesome thing is that a wrong relationship that has been entangled for many years, many times the result is only found after many years of retrospect, everything that should be lost is lost, and the delay is not a year or two, and if you don't get it right, you will be in the pit for a lifetime, and even the next generation.
Don't let me give you an example, you think about how many love brain friends you have around you, a good hand of cards because of love played sparsely and finally dragged down by rotten people.
The list goes on.
Otherwise, how did the love brain become a curse?
3
At this time, what should I do?
The answer is the same as when you were studying.
Study, practice, problem set.
Nope.
Really, no.
It's as simple as that, you haven't been in love a few times, how do you know if the other party loves you or PUA you still can't see yourself clearly?
You've never been in a relationship, so how can you tell which ones are more important in life?
You haven't been in a relationship a few times, how can you quickly figure out the value estimation and match between yourself and the other person?
You haven't been in a relationship a few times, how can you know that this person is the person you're going to catch in your life?
You're such a genius, why haven't you made controlled nuclear fusion?
I've been in a relationship for a long time, so I'm experienced and know at a glance what decisions to make.
When I met my wife, I knew very clearly that this person could not give up, and this person was going to follow me to the end of hell.
Hold on, hold on.
Am I necessarily right?
Of course not, no one dares to say that their decision is 100% right.
But why do you want to fall in love early?
It's because if you've practiced many times, you'll know that if you're wrong, it's my own food, and I'm willing to gamble and lose.
You don't have enough practice and stepping on the pits, and the opportunities are given to you and you are useless.
The saddest thing in life is not that I can't do it, but that I regret that I could have done it when I look back.
I'm here to let you not regret it.
4
Self-esteem, self-improvement, and self-love in love are not born at the beginning, they have to be practiced.
Don't feel like you don't need to practice in love.
Practice, it's really important and important.
You know that you can't get into Tsinghua University and Peking University because you really went to school and know what the difficulty is.
You know you can't make a million a year because you've actually worked and know where this kind of job is difficult.
You know you can't outrun Usain Bolt because you really run, and an 800-meter jog can kill you.
Of course, except for the short video comment area, I have seen many people who claim to be 100 meters into 8 seconds, and the three-body people come and say 6.
You know all of the above because you've experienced it.
But if you haven't been in enough love at all, you just don't know how many pounds and taels you have, what kind of person you deserve, and what kind of person you need.
Many seemingly outrageous marriage conditions, the essence is because there is less practice, and there is a huge information gap in the valuation of yourself, the other party and the market.
Everything has to be practiced and accumulated experience to do better, many people have never been in love in school, can they be self-taught when they go into society?
No, it is more likely that it is because of poor information and poor knowledge that people PUA.
If he really had no teacher, he would have broken through the realm and ascended directly without a teacher.
Many people's feelings are not smooth, it seems that they are unlucky + unladylike, but in fact, they are making up for the tuition fees they escaped that year.
Regardless of whether it is a man or a woman, it is normal to encounter any unfortunate things in marriage without experience, and it is not strange to do any strange operations.
You can't blame the victim for being brainless, because most people just don't know how to love, let alone how to control their love.
In this regard, my dad said more than ten years ago,
Many parents have the same pit in their brains, and they don't let their children fall in love after studying for more than ten years, but they expect these people to find a good partner and have children immediately after graduation, which is ridiculous, and buying lottery tickets is more efficient than this.
This is completely pushing the child into the pit, no matter how good the study is, no matter how hard you work, a bad marriage is also a painful life.
5
Oh yes, speaking of my dad.
My dad wasn't a genius either, nor was he self-taught.
He came out of the rural examination, he really understands the importance of studying, and his fate changed from the time he was admitted to the university from the countryside, from the poorest place in Liaocheng, Shandong.
But as the real king of volumes, he relied on his own efforts, relied on the college entrance examination, and relied on the papers to change his fate, why is he so tolerant of falling in love moderately when he is studying?
It's not that he's open-minded, he scolds me every day for writing nonsense.
It's that he knows to be afraid, and he is afraid.
He saw a lot of his excellent college classmates back then, how they made a lot of trouble because of marriage problems.
At that time, those who could go to college were really smart people, but smart people were not omniscient and omniscient, and a feeling of impulsiveness because of ignorance was enough to ruin the efforts of smart people.
grabbed the child and rolled it to death, and suffered so much, but as a result, his emotional resistance was zero.
When you meet someone casually, dopamine will be set up as soon as it enters the brain, and if you don't want anything, you want love, so what's the point of studying so hard and suffering so much in the past?
The harder I worked before, the more regrettable it became.
If you can't treat your relationship and the relationship between men and women correctly, you will not be able to walk well in life.
Therefore, he is fully aware that moderate love training is really very useful and useful for children to avoid pitfalls in their lives.
In the past, it was the most important thing to force children to do their studies, and now it is the most important thing to avoid pitfalls in children's marriage.
If your child has never been in a relationship, he doesn't even know what you're talking about, and it's impossible to empathize.
It is actually very important for children to fall in love, to feel the joy or pain in it, and to know what it is all about to love one.
It's very important, it
6
At this time, I want to say again, it is true that love needs practice, but can't we talk about it in college?
Is it just a few years?
对，对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对对。
It's just a few years away.
It's really just a few years away.
Mistrust?
You think about a question.
It's one thing to help your child develop the right view of love, but your goal is to make your child safe and experienced.
This is the same as the novice village, there are challenges, but there is also a safety line.
Middle school is the safety line.
Think about it, no matter whether the conditions are good or bad, the people you meet in elementary school, junior high school, and high school are most likely to be the same place as you who grew up in the same world and environment, including family status.
In fact, everyone has more similarities, and you know more about the roots, and you will know the general situation of the other party as soon as you ask.
That's the safety line.
The college is not, the classmates in the university are all over the world, the family situation is also varied, the emotional customs are even more messy, and even the choice of majors is a lot and random, everyone becomes classmates, and there is really nothing in common except for similar grades.
Even because of different provinces, even the results may not be the common denominator.
In this case, poor information and insight have already appeared.
College is a small society, and although college practice is better than in society, it is somewhat late.
7
Of course, the safety line is not very reliable, after all, it is necessary to recognize the diversity of the human species.
I met SB when I was studying.
I myself am a rare SB, so my official account id is banfoSB, which is to have a clear understanding of myself.
But it doesn't matter.
Because at this time, the most important thing in falling in love is not to let you clear the customs, but to desensitize you.
Let you complete the "desensitization" of love.
What is desensitization is to make you accustomed to this thing, not to be indifferent, but also not to make a fuss.
Young people mistakenly think that love is very important and important, it is worth sacrificing everything and giving everything, and it is normal to be carried away when falling in love for the first time, as long as you have been in love a few times, you have been hurt and disappointed, and you will naturally look at it with a rational attitude.
Love is a luxury, love cannot be mastered, and love is very random.
But the problem is that if you didn't love well when you were young, then love will most likely become a regret and a demon for you.
What people will do and how many mistakes they will make in their life are all fixed.
If you don't fall in love early, and you don't affect your studies because of love, it doesn't mean that you have hidden.
Mistakes that should be made will still be made, and they will wait until the cost of trial and error is huge.
At the critical moment of your career, your heart is moved, after you get married, your true love is coming, the coffin board is going to be closed, your spring is coming, and when you arrive at the Nai He Bridge, your medicinal effect is up, and it is rude for Meng Po to see you and call you love.
But is it your fault?
I don't blame you.
What can you do, you really haven't loved it well, you really want to try it once.
In order to satisfy this obsession, many of your operations will be deformed, and many unnecessary risks will be added to your life.
So you have to desensitize, you have to learn to be calm.
Ordinary hearts are not innate, they are acquired after seeing the wind and waves.
Just like some people who were not allowed to eat candy when they were young, they ate it desperately when they grew up, knowing that it was too bad and didn't care until they ate tooth decay.
Just like why many college students are addicted to games, that is, they are ruthless when they are studying, and when they arrive at college, they suddenly have no one to take care of them, and they have to play back with revenge.
A lot of things are like this, if you don't get it at first, it becomes very, very important for you, but instead you get it early on, and you can treat it sensibly later.
Not to mention, the same thing, you experience it at different times in your life, and the feelings are completely different.
Many things can be restarted, but love cannot be repeated.
Even putting aside all these utilitarian calculations, the more students are, the easier it is to have an unreserved love.
Because at that time you had very little stuff and there was nothing to keep.
When you get older, have more, and care more, it is no longer easy to give everything you have.
You will doubt, doubt others, and doubt yourself.
So if you love, love early.
Love, while you still believe in love.