Recently, there is a very popular Taiwanese drama called "We Are Not Kind Enough", I don't know if you have watched it.
I have a lot of friends who say that they see themselves in the heroine Rebecca, especially when she spends money on things.
Rebecca, who is single and earns money, but often feels lonely inside, uses "spending money" as the main way to pamper herself.
There is a close-up scene in which Rebecca spends NT$56,000 in one go to buy a pair of limited-edition trousers that she has been fancy for a long time in order to alleviate the "single discrimination" she received in the restaurant. Even then, she was worried about the rent of her house and stressed about saving for her future pension.
Back at home, when Rebecca hung the trousers on a hanger full of clothes, the hanger collapsed, and the scattered clothes seemed to be piled up in a "gorgeous ruin......
▷ "We Are Not Good Enough"
Some netizens commented that they feel that their lives are the epitome of Rebecca's realistic version:
"The clothes at home are piled up like a mountain, and many of them have not even cut the tags."
"I feel bad if I don't buy something every two or three days."
"When I'm bored, I habitually open the shopping app on my phone."
……
If you have any of these symptoms, you may want to be careful about whether you are falling into a cycle of compulsive shopping.
01
The "buy, buy, buy" that can't be stopped may be an addiction
In fact, each of us may be affected by "compulsive shopping".
Psychologist Edwards argues that "compulsive shopping" is not a black-and-white standard, but a spectrum of varying degrees.
He categorized compulsive shopping into five different levels (from mild to severe):
▨ Non-compulsive buyers: Plan to buy items only when needed.
▨ Recreational buyers: Occasional unplanned impulse purchases, usually to improve their mood.
▨ Borderline Compulsive Buyers: Occasionally buy items to improve their mood. But unlike recreational buyers, borderline compulsive buyers may feel guilty after purchasing items they don't need.
▨ Compulsive buyers: Frequently buy items to relieve stress or anxiety, often feel guilty after buying unwanted items, and it takes a toll on their financial situation.
▨ Addictive buyers: will experience a persistent, intense urge to buy items that is so strong that they often postpone or cancel other activities to cope with the urge.
▷ "Confessions of a Shopaholic"
And if a person's compulsive buying behavior reaches a more severe level, it may be a condition.
In psychology, it is known as "compulsive buying disorder" (CBD), which is a type of buying behavior that focuses too much on shopping and spending, resulting in pain or damage. In the ICD-11, compulsive shopping disorder is included in the category of "other specified impulse control disorders".
In general, compulsive buying disorder has the following characteristics:
▨ It's hard to resist buying items you don't need, and you spend a lot of time focusing on the act of purchasing.
▨ Financial tension due to uncontrolled shopping.
▨ Use shopping as a way to regulate your inner state, and you may feel frustrated or even irritable when you can't shop.
▨ Despite the negative consequences, it is still not possible to stop the purchase.
▨ The purchase is not due to another mental health condition, such as hypomania or mania with bipolar disorder.
For people with compulsive shopping disorder, they focus more on the process of "purchasing" rather than on the items purchased. These purchased items may never be used, or they will be thrown away.
02
Why do we become so caught up in the "desire to buy" that we can't extricate ourselves?
1. Find yourself by purchasing
Nowadays, we often buy goods to highlight our personality or enrich our image.
For example, a person who loves sports may incorporate a lot of sports elements into their daily outfit, while a person who does serious work may wear professional attire more often to show their professionalism.
Psychologist Donald Black argues that "compulsive buying seems to represent the search for self by those whose identities are neither firm nor reliable". In other words, they need to use consumption to determine who they are.
Studies have found that typical items purchased by people with compulsive shopping disorder include clothes, shoes, CDs, jewelry, cosmetics, and household items, as these items can help a person better show their self-image.
In the process of shopping, people with compulsive shopping disorder can regulate their low self-esteem by creating a "better self" while also gaining affirmation from others (Biolcati, 2017).
▷ "Confessions of a Shopaholic"
2. "Buy, buy, buy" is a habit for them to relieve negative emotions
In the TV series, Rebecca chooses to buy the expensive trousers she has been fanciing for a long time in order to make up for the damage caused by the restaurant clerk. In life, we may have had this experience of de-stressing through shopping. Like what:
"I'm too tired to work overtime today, I have to eat a good meal."
"It's been a hard time lately, buy something to treat yourself"
……
But for patients with compulsive shopping disorder, "buying, buying" has become a "habit" that they use to relieve negative emotions.
Studies have found that compulsive buying can indeed help people effectively alleviate negative emotions and also produce euphoric, pleasurable feelings (Faber RJ, O'Guinn TC. 1992).
However, this relief is only temporary, and then comes an increase in anxiety. After a short period of gratification, people with compulsive shopping disorder may regret another "impulse purchase".
In addition, depression can also lead to compulsive purchases, especially for those who don't know how to cope with a state of "boredom" (Brand etal. 2016).
"Don't know what to do, see what you have to buy", compulsive buying can provide a "thrill" to help people eliminate boredom. Moreover, this stimulation can be repeated again and again. People can feel the joy in the process, but the fun will also fade very quickly.
3. Children who have experienced "emotional abuse" are more likely to suffer from compulsive buying disorder as adults
A psychological study (Sansone, etal. 2013) found that trauma experienced in childhood may also trigger compulsive buying behaviors in adulthood.
This is especially the case if you have experienced emotional abuse or witnessed violence in your home, and the impact of these two traumas is more immediate.
Children who grow up with these traumas may feel unloved. Just like in the play, Rebecca grew up in a "loveless" family and lived with her brother. As a result, they are more likely to compensate for their emotional deprivation by consuming as compensation.
▷ "We Are Not Good Enough"
03
Consumer culture is also creating a large number of "compulsive shopping disorder patients"
However, compulsive shopping disorder is not just caused by personal factors. April Benson, a psychologist who specializes in the study and treatment of compulsive shopping disorder, believes that social and cultural factors play a key role in the development of compulsive shopping disorder.
1. Consumer culture produces a lot of "non-essential goods"
Look around us at the items we have bought, how many of them are really needed and indispensable.
Even though our basic needs have been met, more and more consumer needs are being invented or created in order to achieve the goal of economic growth.
Nowadays, a lot of goods may be non-essential, but in order to sell these non-essentials, people have to be persuaded to buy things that they don't really need.
Just like a few years ago, the marketing strategy of laundry detergent was still focused on the "stain removal" function, but now many businesses have changed the focus of their promotion to the fragrance of laundry detergent. You may be able to buy several bottles of laundry detergent at the same time for different scents, even if the quantity is already more than your daily needs.
▷ "The Culprit of Uncontrolled Consumption"
2. People's lifestyle requirements are rising dramatically
In the past, people compared their living standards with reference to the surrounding community, such as next-door neighbors and colleagues at work. Now, there are all sorts of templates for a "quality of life" on the Internet, which makes us unconsciously compare our standard of living with these models.
As a result, while personal incomes have increased significantly over the past few decades, people's lifestyle requirements have risen so dramatically that they have had to borrow money to make it happen (Schor, 1998).
3. Ubiquitous advertising creates a "sense of scarcity" for us
Living in the city, we may be exposed to a large number of advertisements every day: shop windows in shopping malls, billboards in subway stations, pushes in mobile apps, and recommendations for good things interspersed with short videos......
These advertisements are all about using consumer goods as a bridge to a happier and better self, to enhance image and increase visibility (Barber 2007).
For example, if you want to be more glamorous, you may need a perfume, or if you want to live a healthier life, you may want to make "health food" your daily needs......
Even the way of "loving yourself" has become buying some "good things" for yourself.
Under the promotion of advertising, we often feel that we are "missing something". This sense of scarcity forces us to make a desire to buy again and again.
▷ "Confessions of a Shopaholic"
04
If your life has been affected, here are a few tips
If you feel that you are compulsive shopping from time to time, or if you already have a tendency to compulsive shopping disorder but not to a severe degree, here are a few small things that may be able to help.
1. Customize your purchase list for yourself
Before making a purchase, make a list of the items you need to buy in advance, and try to stick to only the items on your list.
2. Set a "Waiting Time"
When we want to buy an item that we don't need urgently, set a waiting time for ourselves, such as three days or a week. During this waiting time, we can check whether we really like or need the item, or if it is just a spur of the moment.
3. Turn off the prompt message of the shopping app
Turn off the shopping app prompts on your phone and deliberately keep yourself away from discounts in the mall. Studies have shown that compulsive buying behaviors are more likely to occur when confronted with merchant promotions.
▷ "Confessions of a Shopaholic"
If you feel like your life has been severely affected by compulsive shopping disorder, here are some tips to try.
1. Accept your own problems and identify the emotions behind them
It's important to see and accept that there may be problems with your shopping behavior. When compulsive shopping occurs, we need to see what is behind the hidden emotions and what kind of problems we want to solve with shopping, whether it is to relieve boredom, evacuate stress or improve self-esteem.
2. Seek professional help
You can also seek professional help if needed. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is now more commonly used in the treatment of compulsive shopping disorder. This therapy will help people identify the factors that trigger compulsive shopping, understand the consequences of problem behaviors, and help them manage their stress
🫂🫂🫂
Finally, spending money frequently doesn't have to be compulsive, it's important to see if your daily life is affected by it, such as:
Do you often feel guilty and blame yourself after shopping, do you feel financially stressed because of shopping, do you have a lot of negative emotional distress, etc.
If you suspect you have compulsive shopping disorder, find a professional doctor to diagnose you.
I hope that everyone who reads this article can get out of the trouble caused by "compulsive shopping".
References————————
Sansone, Randy A.; Chang, Joy; Jewell, Bryan; Rock, Rachel (2013-02-01). "Childhood trauma and compulsive buying". International Journal of Psychiatry in Clinical Practice. 17 (1): 73–76.doi:10.3109/13651501.2011.653379. ISSN 1365-1501. PMID 22296513. S2CID 207523867.
Ben Hague,Jo Hall,Stephen Kellett.（2016）.Treatments for compulsive buying: A systematic review of the quality, effectiveness and progression of the outcome evidence. Journal of Behavioral Addctions.doi：10.1556/2006.5.2016.064
Roser Granero etal. (2016). Compulsive Buying Behavior: Clinical Comparison with Other Behavioral Addictions.Front Psychol.doi：10.3389/fpsyg.2016.00914
April Lane Benson,Helga Dittmar,Reeta Wolfsohn. (2010). Compulsive Buying: Cultural Contributors and Consequences.DOI:10.1017/CBO9780511711930.003
Compulsive Buying Behavior and Its Relationship to Perceived Social Status Associated with Buying, Materialism, Self-Esteem, and Apparel-Product Involvement
Jennifer Yurchisin,Kim K. P. Johnson. (2004). Compulsive Buying Behavior and Its Relationship to Perceived Social Status Associated with Buying, Materialism, Self-Esteem, and Apparel-Product Involvement.Family and Consumer Sciences Research Journal.DOI:10.1177/1077727X03261178
Author: Qingdou Editor: Cold Ice Cover: "Confessions of a Shopaholic"