Sun Yue sang in "The Guide to Happiness": "Fate has arranged that we have many ups and downs in our lives, and if we find something wrong, we will change it immediately." ”
Walking in the world, each of us longs to be happy to be with each other in order to cope with the chaos of life.
But as we get older, we become less and less happy.
I used to cry and laugh when I cried, but now I cry when I laugh and laugh, and I am becoming more and more unhappy in my life.
And the reason why we are unhappy is nothing more than the following three reasons: we can't think about it, we can't see through it, and we can't let it go.
If you can't think of the reason, your heart is destined to get tired
As the saying goes, "Attachment to impermanence is the root of suffering." ”
I think so.
People who think crankily all day long feel very anxious and feel uneasy in their hearts all the time.
It's no wonder that worrying about this and that all day long, can you be happy?
Colleague Ah Xiang, no matter where he goes, hums songs in his mouth, happy like a "lark".
But the lark, suddenly, stopped singing.
There was a lot of speculation about what had happened to her.
Here's the thing.
One day at the beginning of the month, Ah Xiang was immersed in work, and the supervisor called her and said to let the manager take a look at her.
Inexplicably, Ah Xiang promised in her mouth and hurriedly came to the manager's office.
In the house, in addition to the manager, there is also a leader of the personnel department.
Ah Xiang greeted him stiffly.
The manager told her not to be nervous.
Then, the manager asked her some questions.
For example: how old is she, what kind of work did she do before coming to the company, etc.
Ah Xiang replied carefully.
The whole conversation was not long, about ten minutes.
In the end, the manager said, so be it first.
Ah Xiang returned to her workstation and was overjoyed.
March is often a time for personnel adjustments, and in this conversation, it is estimated that good things will happen.
So, when she got off work, Ah Xiang packed and put away her personal belongings so that she could leave at any time.
The next day, when she saw her again, she was told that he wanted to promote her to assistant manager.
But this matter has not yet been decided, so she can work with peace of mind.
Ah Xiang listened to the supervisor's words, and felt a little uneasy in her heart.
Then, Ah Xiang began to wait anxiously.
However, half a month has passed, and there has not been a trace of wind and grass, as if this incident has never happened.
Ah Xiang hasn't waited for the result she wants, and she can't be calm anymore.
She began to review the conversation that day and find out why.
Is it that you dress too casually and don't make a good impression on the manager?
Or did you not say a good sentence and offended the leader?
All kinds of deductions made her eat badly, couldn't sleep, and became more and more depressed in her heart.
However, Ah Xiang didn't dare to ask the director.
Ah Xiang, who is sullen, is perfunctory and often makes mistakes at work.
Looking at Ah Xiang, who was worried, Sister Wang on the other side was very worried.
She couldn't help but persuade: "Ah Xiang, why torture yourself?
You're promoted, it's good, and you don't have anything to lose by maintaining the status quo, right? ”
After hearing these words, Ah Xiang suddenly became enlightened.
Indeed, if you think about the same thing from a different angle, the outcome will be completely different.
To put it bluntly, life is a contest of oneself, and if you trap yourself, you will naturally not be happy.
As the saying goes: "I'd rather drink happy porridge than frown rice." ”
Why bother with yourself?
worried, hurting one's body; Thoughtless, it is your own god who is fed; Always worried, panicked is your own heart.
For the rest of your life, you can only live a comfortable and happy life if you want to open up more and cultivate a normal heart.
If you can't see through the essence, your mind will inevitably be confused
It's not a family, it's not a door.
In life, some women like to treat their children's homes as their own homes, only to find out in the end that they are an "outsider".
As the old saying goes, "A tree will divide its branches, and a big family will divide its family." ”
After children get married, living separately from the elderly is in line with the laws of nature.
As parents, you must understand that in a family, the relationship between husband and wife, not the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, is the first place.
If you want to get along with each other, you must keep your distance, otherwise it will be a disaster.
On Sunday morning, in the garden of the community, Aunt Huang, a neighbor, bowed her head and said nothing, her expression gloomy.
It turned out that she went to her son's house early in the morning, but she had a closed door.
Not long ago, Aunt Huang's only son finally completed his marriage and married a beautiful daughter-in-law.
Aunt Huang, my heart is beautiful, not to mention how happy I am.
After the young couple got married, the two of them went to live in their own house, which made Aunt Huang feel uncomfortable.
She thinks it's good to live together as a family.
Besides, they are busy at work, and they don't have time to do housework, let alone cook.
Helpless, the two of them have made up their minds, and she can't stop them.
Fortunately, the two houses are not far away, and it is convenient for Aunt Huang to come to the door.
So, Aunt Huang delivered food today, fruit tomorrow, and cleaning the day after tomorrow, and she appeared at her son's house 7 days a week and 6 days a week.
At the beginning, the son was very happy to see his mother coming, and the daughter-in-law was also full of joy.
After a long time, when the daughter-in-law saw her mother-in-law come to the door again, she lost her enthusiasm for what she should do.
Obviously, the daughter-in-law didn't want Aunt Huang to appear frequently, but she didn't know it.
This Sunday, Aunt Huang got up early in the morning, made noodles, chopped vegetables, and made a fragrant leek box.
Then she hurried to the door, wanting the little two to eat while it was hot, but the door didn't go in.
After Aunt Huang finished speaking, tears flowed down her eyes like broken threads.
When I heard this, I couldn't help but sigh.
To be honest, I can understand Aunt Huang's feelings, but I don't approve of her approach.
The reason why she is lost and sad in her heart is that to put it bluntly, she can't figure out the situation and can't distinguish between inside and outside.
She felt that after her son got married, everyone was a family.
But in fact, her home is her son's home, but her son's home is not her home.
She didn't figure it out.
Today's young people don't think the same way as the previous generation.
They have their own way of life and don't like to be bothered too much by their parents.
Besides, they also need to keep a certain amount of private space.
As an elder, it is better not to get in the way of them.
If parents really miss their sons, they can have dinner with their children once a week.
In addition, now that the Internet is convenient, you can also make a video call and see your son, as long as you know that your son is doing well.
As the saying goes: distance produces beauty.
With different habits, different personalities, and different hobbies, living independently is the best choice.
Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren.
As parents, they must learn to let go, which is also an exercise in their ability to live, after all, parents cannot take care of their children for a lifetime.
In this way, the family relationship can be more harmonious, and as parents, they will not be sad because they are not reciprocated for their efforts.
I can't let go of the past, and I believe that it will be bitter
Liu Zhenyun said in "One Sentence Top 10,000 Sentences": Living a life is after the past, not the past.
If a person can't let go of the past and is obsessed, then she will only feel miserable.
Li Xuelian in the movie "I Am Not Pan Jinlian" is a typical representative of the past who is entangled in the past and never forgets.
Li Xuelian, a rural woman, has been married to her husband Qin Yuhe for 8 years, and she has a fake divorce with Qin Yu in order to have a second child.
In order to avoid suspicion, the two decided not to interact with each other again.
But later, the fake divorce of the two became a real divorce, Qin Yuhe not only married someone else, but the other party was also pregnant with a child.
Li Xuelian's lungs exploded, so she ran to Qin Yuhe to ask for an explanation.
Unexpectedly, the other party didn't take her seriously at all, not only playing a scoundrel, but also slandering her as Pan Jinlian.
She couldn't swallow this breath, and in anger, she decided to sue Qin Yuhe.
For this reason, Li Xuelian embarked on a 20-year road of complaining.
She, from the township to the county seat, reflected her problems at every level.
From suing her husband alone at the beginning, to involving a large amount of money in the end.
During this period, Li Xuelian experienced countless twists and turns, and the process can be described as difficult.
But she didn't hit the south wall and didn't look back, vowing to let everyone involved be punished by the law.
Who would have thought that the plan couldn't catch up with the changes, but Qin Yuhe died unexpectedly in a car accident during a delivery.
After learning about this, Li Xuelian sat on the ground and cried loudly, because her actions could not be carried on.
In this way, after tossing for half her life, she failed to prove herself in the end and lived as a joke.
Thinking about it carefully, Li Xuelian has changed from a fresh and tender pretty daughter-in-law to an old woman with a face full of vicissitudes.
In the final analysis, it is the result of her own self-imposed limitations and drawing the ground as a prison.
She shouldn't have lived the rest of her life in the memory of yesterday.
Someone said, "Yesterday's sun does not dry today's clothes." ”
In this world, there is no past that cannot be let go, there is no old person who cannot be let go, only the past and memories that are unwilling to let go.
Learn to look down and let go in order to live a happy life.
The sand that could not be held lifted it; If you can't love him, let him go.
Gain calmly, lose indifferently.
Man, only at the moment of letting go, will be reborn.
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There is an old saying: "Time is fleeting, people are easy to grow old, why bother to find troubles, even if it is only for one minute, you must be happy for 60 seconds." ”
Life is short and life is limited.
Instead of being sad about mundane things and worrying about the past, it is better to let go of obsessions, find pleasure, and welcome the joy of tomorrow.
Life is not as good as we think, but it is not as bad as we fear.
Think a little more open; See through a little; Forget a little more.
Don't dwell on trivial matters, don't dwell on the past, in order to be happier.
May you and I live the rest of our lives, all happiness as promised, all sorrows gone with the wind, and a life of joy.
Author | Ziqiao Mo blooms on the flowers, holding a book in his left hand and a pen in his right hand, writing fireworks in the world, and also writing poems and distances, accompanying you and warming you with words.