As the saying goes: "Kiss or not, family." ”
After the children got married, they brought about a kinship.
In order for our children to have a better life in the future, we will also try to maintain a relationship with our parents, even better than our own siblings.
During the New Year's holidays, everyone gathers together and has a meal; If there is a happy event, it will also be lively, and it will be a gift.
But we must keep a clear head, and don't cause "things must be opposed" because the relationship is too good.
01
There are three non-eats in rice to promote harmony.
Shakespeare said, "If there is no hospitality from the host at a banquet, it is not a request for wine, but a sale of wine; It's better to stay at home and eat. ”
Indeed, if there is no temperature, it is better not to go.
Even when you arrive at the dinner, if you find that something is wrong, you should immediately make the choice to avoid it.
First, when people are angry, don't eat with your in-laws, so as not to quarrel.
Everyone is for the better of their children, so they will speak from their own point of view, and there may be conflicts between the in-laws, and even water and fire are incompatible.
If you don't turn out some things in the past, it doesn't mean that the other party won't turn them out. Let's say there is too much bride price.
When you're angry, you're still eating with your in-laws, which definitely won't work.
Quarrels at dinner, coupled with the presence of children, daughters-in-law and sons-in-law, will lead to an escalation of conflicts. It even sparked a feud between several small families.
For the in-laws who have contradictions, it is still out of sight.
Everyone keeps their distance, even if they don't eat together for a whole year. As long as the children are doing well and the young couple is okay, then rest assured.
The days of the younger generations are longer than the days of the elders, and we all have to think long-term.
Second, if your in-laws are very old, or if you are ill, don't stay for dinner when you go to the door, so as not to cause trouble.
Go to the door, this is polite.
In particular, some elderly people can walk around each other and greet each other at close range.
But your in-laws may be very old, unable to walk, or sick. It's good that you go to visit. But don't stay to eat.
After all, it is inconvenient for the in-laws to cook. The in-laws themselves have to be taken care of by their children and grandchildren or nannies, and you still trouble them, which seems unkind.
Third, if your in-laws take you to other families for dinner, you'd better not go, so as not to be embarrassed.
Some in-laws warmly invite you to their homes as guests, but the dinner is at the relatives and friends' houses of their in-laws.
It's a meal that separates you from a relationship, and you'd better not participate in it.
For example, your in-laws take you to another sibling's house for dinner. Take you to your cousin's house in the next village for dinner, you are not familiar with them, and these three views are also different, so it is difficult to talk together.
When people are old, they don't need too many social connections. If your in-laws have their own entertainment, you should leave early so as not to make your in-laws look embarrassed.
Eating is a science, a passion, and a way to promote feelings. If it is contrary to the original intention of eating, then forget it, don't let it go and don't eat well, and get into trouble and block yourself.
02
There are three kinds of etiquette, and the rules are spoken.
As the saying goes, "Come and don't be rude." ”
In order to promote the relationship between our relatives and families, we must learn to follow the etiquette.
Through the usual gift-giving behavior, maintain the connection with each other, and also send a signal: "I care about you very much." ”
In the countryside, there is also such a saying: "The in-laws next door, the number of etiquette is still there." ”
It's just a very familiar village person, once it becomes a family member, then you have to change your identity, don't be like before, big grinning.
Follow the rules and don't add to the snake, this is what we need to learn and do.
First, the relatives of the in-laws have nothing to do with you, so you don't have to give gifts.
Other children of the in-laws get married, or the parents of the in-laws pass away, you can go and see, after all, they are all very close people.
But the general relatives of the in-laws, if there is any happy event, you don't want to join in the fun, and the gift is superfluous.
Think about it, relatives of relatives, it's a huge circle, you all go to the courtesy, and the cost is very large.
In the countryside, if you go back and forth, people in one village, or even several villages, can have relatives, how can they manage so much.
Second, the ritual of filial piety is the business of the children, and you don't have to do it for you.
Filial piety to the elderly, this is what children should do.
When you see that your in-laws are having a very difficult time, you always go to the ceremony and use this method to help. It looks good, but you're overstepping.
Let's say your daughter's parents-in-law have no pension and need to be supported. It's your daughter and son-in-law's business, not yours.
You give your daughter's parents-in-law 200 yuan a month, unless you have too much money to spend.
If you have a son in addition to your daughter, this will cause your son to be dissatisfied. There are several sons in the in-laws, and your behavior will also cause dissatisfaction among the other sons of the in-laws.
The young and the young are orderly, filial piety is in a good way, not you have to worry about it.
Third, when your life is particularly difficult, don't be courteous.
When you are in trouble, you hear that your in-laws want to make wine, you have to go and see it, and you have to give a gift, which seems to be difficult.
If you don't go, no one blames you. It is also good to send greetings through the children with a message.
Especially the elderly in the countryside, their own lives are tight, your in-laws are from the city, and they have a pension, so don't die at this time to save face.
It is understandable that the gift costs money, consumes one's own, and appropriately protects one's own rights and interests.
The ancients said: "A gentleman is a man of righteousness, and a villain is of profit." ”
We also have to believe that virtuous in-laws will value love and righteousness, rather than money, and will not care about how much they are courtesy. Everyone should follow the salute according to their economic situation, and don't slap a swollen face and become fat.
03
Your children are married, and you are fifty or sixty years old.
Everything must be principled, intimate and measured, and be a good example for the elderly.
It's okay to pay more attention to your small family and take care of your children. Your children are all of good character, very diligent, and reasonable, this is the best "care" for your in-laws.
Eat with harmony, behave and courtesy, have a good relationship with your in-laws, and have a good marriage with your children.
From now on, no love, no courtesy, no rules.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.