"My sister always hints that I buy things for my nephew" is on the hot search: stay away from the giant baby who has no sense of proportion

Intensive reading

2024-06-19 11:06Posted in Fujian

"My sister always hints that I buy things for my nephew" is on the hot search: stay away from the giant baby who has no sense of proportion

Today is the 3901st day of intensive reading to accompany you in your lifelong growth

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Recently, I saw a hot search, the subject's sister has two children, both three or four years old, and the subject will buy them some clothes, toys, snacks and the like almost every month, and will also give red envelopes during the New Year.

Slowly, the subject went back to see his nephew, and the nephew would ask what to bring as soon as he came up, and even once he thought that the subject had bought less.

My sister hinted many times that the subject wanted to buy a gift, and encouraged the child to ask for it too, but later directly lost the link.

My sister doesn't have a job, my brother-in-law doesn't make much money, and the subject sees it in his heart, so he usually buys things for his children to help out.

This made the subject feel very uncomfortable.

A highly praised comment expresses the voice of many people: I can take the initiative to buy, but others can't care about me, and I don't have any of them.

Teacher Zhang Xuefeng also appeared in the comment area, suggesting that the subject endure it for another two years, and when the child enters the first grade, he will buy teaching aids, test papers, and Olympiad books for the child every month.

There is a concept in psychology: psychological offside, which refers to a person who ignores or violates the psychological boundaries of the other party when interacting with others, causing the other party to feel uncomfortable or violated.

This behavior can manifest itself in 3 ways: excessive interference; high expectations; Ignoring the wishes of others.

The behavior of the subject's sister is a typical psychological offside, with no sense of proportion.

The subject initially bought a gift for his nephew out of his own volition, and his sister frequently suggested that the subject would buy a specific gift and directly sent a link to make a request, which went beyond the scope of normal suggestions and became a kind of interference.

When the child expresses dissatisfaction with the gift, or even too little, this expectation has become a psychological burden for the subject.

The older sister took the subject's gift for granted, without considering the subject's personal wishes and financial situation, causing the subject to feel that her kindness was being taken advantage of.

Whether it is a sister or a parent, even if the blood is thicker than water, you should pay attention to proportion, respect each other's boundaries, instead of blindly asking and demanding, and you should not impose your own ideas on others.

When returning home for the New Year's holidays, many people will meet the seven aunts and eight aunts out of "good-intentioned" concern, opening their mouths is what kind of work you are doing, how much money you make a month, whether you are in love, when you get married, and how much money you have saved......

The care between relatives is naturally good, but it is very uncomfortable to be offside. Please don't dictate other people's lives in the name of "I'm for your good."

"Boundary Consciousness" says, "Your boundaries are your emotions, and as soon as the boundaries are broken, they will give a warning." ”

In life, if someone keeps breaking your boundaries and you feel uncomfortable, you must learn to say "no".

In college campus life, roommates are very important, and if you meet a roommate who has no sense of proportion, it is really ......

I recently saw a college student share that her roommate saved 20,000 yuan, and she was very happy for her roommate, but later I found out that her roommate's savings were all based on her own wool.

Every time I went to take a shower, my roommate rubbed her shampoo and shower gel, at first I thought she just forgot to bring it, but later found out that it was the case every time.

Several times in the dormitory, she was angry to find her roommate squeezing her own toothpaste.

In order to save money, roommates don't treat themselves as outsiders at all and use other people's things casually.

The friendship that was supposed to be good, because there was no sense of proportion, collapsed.

Writer Eugene said: "Where there is distance, there will be respect; With respect, friendship lasts forever. ”

On Zhihu, the experience of a subject makes people feel very suffocated.

A friend of the subject came back from out of town and hadn't seen him for a long time, so he asked him to have dinner together in the evening.

The subject asked him whether he was with others or by himself, and he said that he was alone, and the subject said that he would invite him to dinner.

At around 4 o'clock in the afternoon, the subject received a call from a friend, who asked if he had booked a seat, and whether he was enough to sit?

The subject is confused, isn't there just 2 people?

As a result, my friend brought more than 10 people and said that since the subject invited him to dinner, he should pick up the wind.

The subject was a little unhappy and said, it's okay for me to invite you to dinner, why invite a group of people I don't know.

The friend asked him if he was reluctant to make money, and he also called it a number of friends and multiple roads.

A relationship without a sense of boundaries is a disaster.

Sanmao once said: "No matter how close a friend is, he can't lose his proportions, he thinks he is familiar, and the result is isolation." ”

Being measured is not about being distancing, but about keeping the right distance so that the relationship can last.

On the contrary, there is no sense of proportion, and it seems to be close to "inappropriate outsiders", but in fact it is annoying.

WeChat is a common tool for our daily communication, but many people don't even have basic social etiquette.

A while ago, someone summarized the 4 most annoying behaviors of WeChat chat:

First, I don't go back to WeChat, but I send it to Moments;

second, he is not an acquaintance, but he sends a 60-second voice;

Third, there is no urgency but the message is sent during the break;

Fourth, I don't usually get in touch, but I show up whenever something happens.

Equally annoying is making video calls, asking "are you there......

Behind these behaviors, there is actually a lack of sense of proportion.

I'm guessing you've received votes, likes, and the like on WeChat.

Me too. One day, a high school classmate who never contacted me messaged me and asked me to vote for her child.

I helped out of politeness, but she didn't say thank you, and asked me to help her forward the circle of friends to canvass for votes.

I said that I don't usually post on Moments, and she said that I would help send it to a few relatives and friends, and I would move my fingers.

I outright refused. It is a duty to help, and it is a duty not to help.

According to a survey by China Youth Daily, nearly 80% of people are bored with "WeChat voting, collecting likes, bargaining and other behaviors", and 20% of them are very disgusted.

Maybe you think it's just a "gesture", but you don't know that you have caused trouble to the other party.

Before asking someone for help, you must first consider whether your relationship is in place, whether the other party is willing, and whether you really know each other that well.

As an adult, whether it's family, friends, colleagues, or nodding friends, maintaining a sense of proportion is a sign of respect for others and a responsibility for yourself.

Zhou Guoping once said: "A sense of proportion is one of the signs of maturity, and a sense of proportion does not refer to alienation or arrogance, but to stand at a higher angle, clearly understand one's position, and then make appropriate moves." ”

Intimacy, distance and proximity, and a sense of boundary are the basic cultivation of adults.

May we all keep a proper distance, act in a measured manner, be considerate in our words, and stay away from the giant babies around us.

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