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Text | The ridiculous Ah Yue
Edit | The ridiculous Ah Yue
Would you believe it? Mothers can also be jealous of their daughters
In fact, it is very common for mothers to be jealous of their daughters.
According to a study by American psychologist Carol Ryff: Mothers tend to feel proud when their sons show their good side: Mothers tend to feel very uncomfortable when their daughters show good side.
Some time ago, a blogger posted on the Internet to complain about his mother: "Only now do I find out that my mother is not a normal person"
The blogger told that when she was pushed out of the operating room by the nurse after giving birth, her husband went to find a wheelchair to facilitate her to go to the toilet to change sanitary napkins, but her mother blocked her husband, and said that the blogger was too hypocritical, and she could walk directly to the ground after giving birth.
The mother's words silenced everyone present, and the blogger was even more shocked, but she didn't expect that there would be something more difficult for her to accept.
The blogger's mother lives in the blogger's house, and while the blogger's child sleeps at night, the blogger's mother plays the TV series loudly in the living room, and when several dissuasion reminders are ignored, the blogger can't bear to turn down the TV volume.
The next second, the mother began to cry and began to pack her belongings and said that she was leaving.
The blogger was worried that it would be unsafe for his mother to go out alone when it was too late, so he comforted his mother with kind words and said that he had done something wrong, but he didn't expect his mother to hear her apology and immediately said proudly: "I can't cure you yet?"
It is chilling that a daughter's concern and filial piety to her mother have become a weapon for the mother to "cure" her daughter.
The blogger began to reminisce about her childhood, and in her memory, her mother was always harsh on him. Obviously, her family is wealthy, but her mother almost does not give her living expenses, and she survives on steamed buns and instant noodles bought with the money from excellent student subsidies during her student years.
is obviously harsh, but the mother said that it was for the good of the blogger, and when the mother faced other relatives, she said that her daughter was very sensible and never let herself worry.
The blogger's words have caused a lot of discussion on the Internet, and many netizens said that their parents are also like the blogger's mother, in the name of being good for themselves, but they have hurt their children's hearts again and again.
Some netizens said that their mother would be jealous and jealous because her father was good to her, and she would tell her boyfriend to let him find a better one, and her daughter was not as beautiful as she was when she was young.
Some netizens cried that their mother loved her very much, but when she saw her wearing a sundress, she said that she was a young lady, and she forced herself to go out to work or prepare for the public entrance examination during her freshman year, and after she refused, her mother cried and slapped herself and said that she should not give birth to her.
Some netizens said that every time he encountered something he felt happy to share with his parents, he always received bitter ridicule or weird accusations, either saying that he would only enjoy happiness, or crying that he was not doing well. After a long time, netizens have never shared their happiness with their families again.
Some netizens said that their mother has a strong desire to control herself, even if he is 45 years old, her mother will study where she went every day through the steps on his WeChat movement, and if she turns off the WeChat movement, her mother will cry, make trouble and hang herself.
Some netizens also expressed doubts about the blogger and other netizens, since they can feel that their parents are not good for them, why do they still live together, and they have to be obedient to their parents. Everyone's reply is that because of love, because of their love for their parents, and because of their parents' love for themselves.
This love comes from Chinese-style parents, and this love forms a Chinese-style original family.
Some people say that the love given by Chinese parents is just right, not so much that it makes children grow up healthily, nor so little that it makes children determined to leave them. Let children know that their parents are the people who love them the most in the world, but it also brings them unforgettable pain. The children cannot give up or blame, and eventually live themselves as contradictions, starting a new cycle.
What Chinese parents are best at is suppressing their children and complaining to their children.
For the suppression of their own children, some scholars have said that Chinese parents are talking about "love" on the surface, but in fact they are talking about "grace", our traditional cultural system is too deeply influenced by Confucianism, and it pays attention to "monarchs, ministers, fathers, sons", and pays attention to kindness and return.
When our parents give birth to us, they are actually "gracious" in their subconscious, and everything they do is actually to make their efforts rewarded.
The children suppressed by such a family are likely to not be able to learn to be self-consistent because they do not receive enough respect, and when they finally form their own families, they will also become "kings", and they will also turn their children into "ministers".
As for complaining to their children, basically everyone has heard parents say to themselves that their family situation is not good, and repeatedly emphasize how difficult it is for them to earn money for their children, and don't spend money indiscriminately.
But in fact, do parents have to earn money for their children? If you don't have children, don't your parents work and don't earn money? Saying this will only make the child feel inferior, guilty, and make the child feel that he is not qualified to enjoy it.
Some parents will explain that they are also first-time parents, and there are many things that can be helpless. However, it is true that it is the first time to be a parent, but don't parents also come from their children? I don't know what parents do, but I always know how my children will be happy and healthy, right? "We love a lot, but we can't express it", this sentence can no longer easily reveal the pain of so many years.
However, it is gratifying that more and more new parents, even if they grew up in their original families, show infinite tolerance and pampering when facing their own next generation.
The parents of this generation used themselves as a shield to resist the belittlement and attacks of the elders, so that Chinese-style education ended in their own generation.
They will apologize to their children when they do something wrong.
When a child does something wrong, they will comfort them softly instead of scolding them.
When they take their children out to play, they encourage them to buy whatever they want, and they will play generously when they come out to play.
They will say that children have their own world, not their own vassals, and that they should be allowed to grow up happy and happy.
Let Chinese education close the loop, I hope that our generation can one day hear the apology of their parents, reconcile with their parents, and hope that our next generation will not bear the pain of the original family, and grow up healthy and happy!