I've heard a saying:
"To be born as a human being, you must have both the heart of a bodhisattva and the strength of a lion."
If a person is too weak, he will inevitably taste the sufferings of the world, because the world is not always gentle.
In the journey of life, we inevitably have to deal with all kinds of people.
Once upon a time, we always adhered to the principle of "taking a step back and opening up the sea and the sky, and enduring the calm for a while".
So much so that we are always extraordinarily tolerant of those who do not matter, blindly tolerating and conniving.
It wasn't until our hearts were trampled on and our affection was let down that we woke up:
There is a limit to tolerance and forbearance, and excessive concession will only make us lose ourselves and even be used by others.
Hedgehogs have thorns, walnuts have shells, no one will always shelter you from the wind and rain, you are too kind, you can only be hurt.
In fact, to put it bluntly, what others do to you is what you teach.
Your weakness and withdrawal will only condone the evil of others, and you must straighten your back and learn to fight back in order to better protect yourself and defend your dignity and rights.
When you really live and understand, you won't indulge anyone anymore.
The more you indulge others, the more they will hurt you as a matter of course.
Some people say:
"Treat others like a pistol, and once it's pointed, don't show mercy. But treat yourself like a delicate musical instrument, and take care of it. ”
Many times, we will always put away our edge in front of people, and the character of being big and grinning and not afraid of heaven and earth has also been smoothed out by real life.
If you accidentally have a conflict or conflict with someone, you will not dwell on who is right and who is wrong, but choose to value harmony as soon as possible to avoid a relationship falling into an embarrassing situation.
However, the more you experience, the more you will find that the more tolerant some people you are, the more arrogant they become. The more you put up with it, the more they will get inched in, or even worse.
The world will never be kind to you just because you get along well, nor will it be tolerant to you just because you are kind to talk.
There will be some unfairness between people, if you lower your posture from the beginning, you will only end up with cynicism and contempt and neglect from others.
Zhou Guoping said in "The Book of Answers to Life":
"Vulnerability is often caused by being too dependent on others, and if you are self-loving and self-reliant enough, you have both the ability to endure misfortune and the ability to strive for happiness."
People have a strong mentality, the more you are accommodating and forbearing, the more others will hurt you as a matter of course, only when you show a bad side, others will be afraid of you and respect you.
Once a person indulges others, he will wronged himself.
Some people say:
"Don't be wronged by your feet for fear of losing a pair of shoes that don't fit."
Indeed, a comfortable relationship is never based on anyone's grievances and bowing heads, but on the basis of mutual respect, understanding and tolerance, mutual achievement and common growth.
Life is short for a few decades, and the most important thing is to be satisfied, not to cater to others endlessly.
But let's ask, how many people in real life really do not wronged themselves?
In the course of life, we seem to have become accustomed to being overly accommodating.
In the face of other people's excessive requests, even if he was very reluctant in his heart, he still subconsciously chose to compromise;
In the face of other people's unreasonable arrangements, even if he felt deeply unfair in his heart, he still subconsciously chose to back down.
As everyone knows, over-pandering to others does not lead to true understanding; If you are too wronged yourself, you will not be able to win the respect of others.
When you go against your heart and choose to condone and fulfill others, you are doomed to suffer some grievances.
No one is more noble than the other, you don't have to grovel to please others, and you don't have to compromise to maintain decency.
Xi Muyun wrote in "Traces of Growth":
"In a person's life, you should live for yourself, you should like yourself, and don't care too much about what others think of me, or what others think of me. In fact, how others measure you is all about how you measure yourself. ”
People who are alive and always care too much about the eyes of others often unconsciously carry a heavy shell.
Moreover, if you are too sensible and too accommodating to others, you will easily become the target of bullying in the eyes of others.
Therefore, from now on, I hope you will learn to be a "principled" person, no longer compromise easily, and no longer lose yourself in order to cater to others.
Love yourself well, not everyone is worthy of your sincerity.
There is a sentence in "The Big Bang Theory" that is very realistic:
"If you're too kind, the world will leave you bruised sooner or later."
This is not to say that kindness itself is wrong, but to remind us that while maintaining kindness, we must also learn to protect ourselves, know how to distinguish between right and wrong, and not blindly give.
As the saying goes: human nature is unspeakable, and human hearts cannot be verified.
No matter what kind of relationship, you must be reserved, because in this world, no one can always be by our side, and no one can guarantee that our feelings will always be the same.
Many times, you think that your good others can see it, and your sincerity will be cherished by others, but you never think that for some people, your existence is dispensable, and your contribution is insignificant.
There are even times when because of your connivance, those ungrateful villains will always give you a fatal blow when you are defenseless.
Wang Xiaobo once said:
"Kindness is never an easy task, wrong kindness will not bring heaven to others, it will only drag you down to hell."
Kindness is a choice, not an obligation.
We can choose kindness, but only if we protect ourselves first.
Only by finding a balance between kindness and self-protection can we go further and more steadily on the road of life.
Otherwise, your connivance, your kindness, will sooner or later become a weapon for others to harm you.
Psychologist Sigmund Freud said:
"You can't control the weather, but you can change your mood; You can't change your face, but you can show confidence; You can't control others, but you can control yourself. ”
How others treat us is someone else's business, but how we treat others is our own choice. ”
A person must first live his own wonderful life before he can have enough energy to care for others.
People live a lifetime, and while trying to do their best, they should also remember not to condone the vexatious troubles of others.
The more indulgent you are, the more others will get worse.
May you become a principled and sharp person, and do not wronged yourself.
Author: Han Su
A long-termist who believes in writing.
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