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One night in 2017, 34-year-old Ao Yanhong sat alone on the edge of her cramped bed in a rental house. This old cottage, which is only a few dozen square meters, is the only place for her to stay.
Looking at the familiar but unfamiliar faces in the mirror, she couldn't help but sigh. Once, she was a girl full of ideals and enthusiasm, but her obsession with her idol Andy Lau made her spend her time in the golden stage of her life.
However, now she lives a humble life, surrounded by hardship and gloom, and deep down she longs for a chance to start anew, brush away the scars of life, and taste happiness again.
Ao Yanhong initially fell in love with Andy Lau at first sight when she was 6 years old, and her relationship originated from a chance opportunity. That time, when she went out with her parents to visit relatives and friends, she happened to see a huge poster at the door of a movie theater, and the handsome and chic image of Andy Lau on the poster instantly attracted her attention.
Since then, Andy Lau has become the eternal prince charming in Ao Yanhong's heart. From then on, he became the center of her life, and she began to collect everything related to him like crazy: posters, tapes, postcards, magazines...... She put Andy Lau's photo next to her pillow, listened to his songs repeatedly, and wrote down every fiery love she had for him in her diary.
Ao Yanhong's fascination with Andy Lau gradually rose to the level of her own universe. She was often immersed in her own world, and gradually, her schoolwork was abandoned and her parents began to neglect her.
After graduating from junior high school, Ao Yanhong completely gave up the opportunity to further her studies and chose to devote all her energy to the road of chasing stars.
She became withdrawn and introverted, closed herself in her home, repeatedly tasted photos of her idol's songs, and wrote nearly a hundred heartfelt diaries for him. In addition, Ao Yanhong also wrote countless enthusiastic letters to Andy Lau and other artist companies, eager to find a glimmer of hope.
However, all her letters were like a stone in the sea, and her mood was gradually overshadowed by disappointment.
For Ao Yanhong, it has always been her dream to meet her idol Andy Lau. In order to realize this dream, she paid a huge price, not only gave up her studies, but also devoted herself to this journey of chasing stars full of hardships.
In her eyes, Andy Lau is like a flashing firefly in the night sky, always flying away at the moment she is about to catch it. Despite this, she did not give up, and in order to pursue that familiar figure, she traveled from place to place.
In the spring of Ao Yanhong's 13th year, with a heavy diary and postcards, as well as dozens of yuan of pocket money she had saved hard, she stepped on the train to the bustling city alone.
She came to the hustle and bustle of the big city alone, like a lost little girl running into a wall everywhere, looking for the traces of her idol Andy Lau. However, in the end, she found nothing, and walked for two days and two nights before returning to her hometown, full of loss and melancholy.
However, this did not dampen Ao Yanhong's determination, but made her more determined to pursue her love. Since then, she has left her homely home again and again to chase that unattainable dream.
Every time I set out, I was full of expectations, but I finally came back with an indescribable disappointment.
At the Spring Festival Gala, Ao Yanhong witnessed Andy Lau's wonderful performance, and her gentle temperament fascinated her. Since then, Ao Yanhong has completely poured her feelings into Andy Lau, regarded him as her ideal boyfriend, and even silently vowed to spend the rest of her life with him.
In order to realize this grand dream, Ao Yanhong resolutely resisted associating with any man and unswervingly guarded her loyalty to Andy Lau.
In 2005, Ao Yanhong learned from media reports that her idol Andy Lau had a secret relationship with a female star, which was like the world collapsing for her.
An indescribable tide of despair overwhelmed her, and painful feelings filled her whole body and mind, and she wept uncontrollably in the middle of the night. Ao Yanhong tried to use alcohol to dispel her sorrows, and drank nearly a pound of strong liquor in one go, and the burning sensation of alcohol burning in her stomach made her feel dizzy.
However, she didn't give up, and she then took a full 10 sleeping pills and tried her best to end the fruitless crush.
Fortunately, Ao Yanhong was found in time and sent to the hospital for rescue. After two days of hard treatment, she finally woke up from a coma and her life hung by a thread. However, despite the blow of life and death, her obsession with Andy Lau is still undiminished.
However, after this incident, her love has become even more insane.
After Ao Yanhong learned the news of Andy Lau's announcement of marriage, she suddenly fell into madness. In order to be able to attract the attention of the public, she decided to turn to the power of the television medium.
In a variety show called "All Come to Love Dreams", Ao Yanhong did not hide her feelings for Andy Lau in front of the public: "I only love Andy Lau and am willing to stick to his purity until the last moment of his life."
I hope to meet him and ask him if he would like to be my lover and lover. I expect him to make an exception for me.
Ao Yanhong made a shocking speech at the scene, which caused an uproar, and the guests fell silent one after another, and no one answered for a while. They tried to persuade her to look at things rationally and stop indulging in fantasies, but she did not back down, but earnestly asked: "Do you really understand what love is and what true love is?" In the face of such a crazy and weird obsession, everyone present was speechless.
In order to get closer to the idol Andy Lau in her heart, in 2009, Ao Yanhong came to the bustling city of Guangzhou alone. With expectations, she tirelessly searched for the contact information of major performing arts companies and film and television directors on the Internet, and showed herself to them with enthusiasm, looking forward to a breakthrough on this road and realizing her wishes.
However, the reality is far crueler than the dream. In the days when Ao Yanhong was looking for a job in Guangzhou, she encountered scams from unscrupulous intermediaries in a row, and the tens of thousands of hard-earned money she had worked so hard to accumulate were swept away in an instant.
Once, she was lured to Shenzhen and was almost hurt. After going through a lot of hardships, she finally only got a short-term actor training opportunity provided by a small film and television company, and after getting a junior actor certificate, she stopped there.
The failure of her trip to Guangzhou left Ao Yanhong physically and mentally exhausted, and she used up all her belongings and no longer had any savings to make ends meet. She had no choice but to pick up the pieces and return to her hometown with a glimmer of hope.
For a long time, she struggled to make a living by playing mahjong at home, with a meager income of only a few hundred yuan a month, and this life passed day after day.
The pressure of life has tormented Ao Yanhong, and she often misses the days when she was chasing her dreams in Guangzhou. Although those days were full of trials and tribulations, there was at least a glimmer of hope that drove her forward.
Today, she lives a life of poverty, and her dreams for many years have been shattered by reality.
Because of the failure of the trip to Guangzhou, Ao Yanhong was physically and mentally exhausted. She used up all her possessions and no longer had any savings to make ends meet. With reluctance, Ao Yanhong returned to her hometown with the remaining hope in her heart, with a heavy heart.
In the long years that followed, she relied on playing mahjong at home to earn some living expenses, and her monthly income was meager, only a few hundred yuan, and her life was in trouble.
Ao Yanhong was unable to even apply for any form of loan assistance to get through the difficulties, which often reminded her of the hardships she had when she was chasing her dreams in Guangzhou. Despite all the trials and tribulations and setbacks, there is at least a glimmer of hope that drives her forward.
However, now she lives a life of poverty, and her former ideals are brutally trampled by reality.
What's even more suffocating is that as soon as Ao Yanhong walks out of the house, she will be pointed out by passers-by with strange eyes and ridicule, because her well-known fanatical star-chasing experience in the past has made many people have prejudices against her.
"Aren't you obsessed with Andy Lau, what are you looking for a job for?" The employer's ridicule and rejection almost shattered Ao Yanhong's self-esteem.
Once upon a time, she was a young girl with a dream to one day marry the prince charming of her heart. But now, she can only cry silently at home, and her life is in trouble.
The criticism and discrimination from the outside world made her feel at a loss and her heart was tormented. At one point, Ao Yanhong even wanted to end this shameful life, but in the end she chose to give up.
Time flies, the days go by, and Ao Yanhong's life becomes very poor. Her dreams were completely shattered by reality.
Ao Yanhong finally woke up from a long difficult life. She understands that she can't waste her time like this anymore, and she must start a new chapter in her life.
Ao Yanhong is very eager for plastic surgery and makeover, and she wants to get rid of the shadow of the past and re-embrace the new life brought by the sun through the transformation of her appearance.
In 2017, when 34-year-old Ao Yanhong was interviewed by the media, she publicly expressed her vision that she hoped that a plastic surgery agency would provide her with free plastic surgery services to help her achieve a transformation in her life.
Ao Yanhong has always longed to find a stable job and live an ordinary life.
When she was alone, she quietly looked at herself in the mirror, and the brilliance in her eyes gradually dimmed. The memories of the past flashed in her eyes, and she seemed to see the girl who was deeply attracted by Andy Lau again, as well as the self who had gambled for him and even risked his life.
The young and frivolous girl has grown up and experienced countless encounters and tribulations in life. Now, she begins to yearn for the bits and pieces of ordinary life, for the understanding and tolerance of her lover, and for being a virtuous wife and a great mother.
Ao Yanhong realizes that the obsession with the past has not only made her golden years in vain, but also caused her to miss out on many good things. She began to regret her blind infatuation with Andy Lau when she was young, and began to think that maybe she should have set a reasonable deadline for this unrequited love, instead of being entangled until now.
For Ao Yanhong, letting go of the obsession in her heart and regaining her life is an extremely long process, and she has to fight against certain forces deep in her heart every day. But she understands that if she wants to be free, she must untie her knots.
Ao Yanhong looks forward to the day when she can completely forget the idol life of the past, live the ordinary life of an ordinary family again, keep to herself, treat money like dung, and become a person worthy of respect in the future.
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