Author: Liu Yingya
After three years of dating, there are always quarrels, and the other party can't control their emotions. And I don't like to quarrel. I'm tired.
The above is an example.
In an intimate relationship, if one partner can't control their emotions. At this time, instead of criticizing and disliking, what is more needed is attention and care.
Pay attention to and care for the situation of the party who can't control his emotions. Pay attention to and care for each other.
In intimate relationships, at the relational level, the one who is unable to control his emotions is often unnoticed. At the same time, there is also a lack of real connection between the two people.
Attention and care are the real relationships.
Criticism and dislike are alienation and lack of authentic connection.
can give attention and love, and the other party's small emotions on the verge of collapse can be supported and alleviated.
Of course, the party with small emotions needs to face their own internal vulnerability in order to be able to attach to and own the relationship more effectively.
Sometimes when you are vulnerable, you will be overly attached to the relationship, but you will not be able to truly attach to the relationship, you will not be able to mature the relationship, and you will not be able to get nourishment and support from the relationship.
And when we are healthy ourselves, when we are mature and healthy, we are often more able to face relationships maturely. It's easier to have a real relationship connection. Let yourself be nourished by relationships.
Of course, if it is rejection and burying emotions that the partner cannot control. In fact, the party who refuses and buries is also very weak at times, and when it is very weak, it is in a "weak" situation and cannot give more support to its partner. At this time, you also need to take good care of yourself.
Being able to give your partner attention and love is a win-win situation. Being able to support each other and even allow each other to experience some healing.
Not a digression. When you have uncontrollable emotions, pay attention to yourself and care for yourself.
Author|Liu Yingya
Master's degree in Psychology, Psychological Counselor
Researcher of family marital emotion, researcher of family education, researcher of related personal growth