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【Interpersonal Society•Partner】
作者：Bella
1 Tips for doing things well
After years of observation, I have found that those who are particularly lucky, who have successful studies, successful careers, happy families, and good children, naturally follow one principle no matter how big or small they deal with: find the right person.
It really came naturally to them. That is, it is a habit of theirs, and they don't need to remind themselves of it. They naturally tend to find the right people before they do anything.
For example, it can be very difficult to work or live overseas, but if you find the right lover, work for a reliable company, and find some immigrant friends with the same aspirations, then things will be much easier. And everyone supports each other, and everyone can be surrounded by a warm and positive emotion, and the mentality will become optimistic.
For example, when it comes to tutoring children's learning, many school-hungry children, their parents can't directly tutor their academics, but they will especially provide a good atmosphere for their children. They may find the best teacher for their child and teach him some artistic talents; You may also often take your child to participate in some sports activities or parent-child summer camps, so that your child can find mentors and friends in the right environment.
Those who have watched Game of Thrones should be familiar with the name "Benioff". As one of the main creators of this drama, Benioff once mentioned in an interview that during the filming of "Game of Thrones", the team learned a very important thing, that is, "bring really good people, they know what they are doing, and then make sure they understand what you want." ”
Later, Benioff told the story related to the soundtrack. Benioff's team invited a composer named Lamin Jawadi. You should be able to imagine how much flavor this eye-opening drama would have lost without these classic melodies.
For Benioff's team, Lamine Jawadi is the perfect fit. Every time he gave the soundtrack to Benioff and others to audition, 90% of the time, Benioff and the others couldn't help but exclaim: "Great, Lamin!" "Of course, 10% of the time, the creative team is not sure whether the music is suitable or not. When they express doubts and hesitations, Lamin always thinks about it and says, "Let me try again, I get it." Benioff bluntly said that Lamine "is both a high-level artist, but also has an open attitude and does not feel easily offended." ”
In the process of filming "Game of Thrones", the main creative team met a lot of such suitable people. It is precisely because of these suitable people that this divine drama has left a perfect impression on people in all aspects.
2 Don't miss the right person
Since the right person is so important, how can you find the right person?
I believe you must have a lot of wonderful answers to this question: you have lofty ambitions in order to attract like-minded partners; If you continue to enter a better circle, you can increase the probability of meeting excellent people; To see the talent and wisdom of others, we must pay more attention to a person's quality and pattern......
These are principles that are both valid and practical. But today, I'd like to share with you something from another perspective that might be overlooked, and that is to avoid missing the right person.
Many times, our principles, ideas, and starting points are good, but if in the process of action, we are too attached to certain views, we may miss the right person because of overkill.
Here are 3 points for us to pay attention to:
First, just because a person does something that doesn't fit my mind doesn't mean he's not the right person.
In fact, the right people are often complementary people, and the other side of the word "complementary" is "difference" – because only you are different can make up for each other's shortcomings. If you are too gentle with your child, your partner will definitely be stricter. If you are resolute, your partner will need to be patient and cautious to curb your impulses.
Difference not only means complementarity, but also variety. Iron sharpens iron to sharpen the edge. In the same way, excellent but different people can polish each other more delicately and sharply when they run in together. Quarrels are inevitable when the right people are together, but quarrels are for running-in, not for alienation.
Second, we cannot seek complete blame, but demand that the other party be comprehensive.
A right lover is not necessarily a right partner. A good doctor may not be able to take care of the health of his family.
The so-called "right person" is premised on a specific occasion, and you can partner smoothly and happily cooperate in a certain environment. But out of this occasion, you may have the same shortcomings; Or to put it another way, you or the other person may face the embarrassing situation of having no place for heroes.
So, be more tolerant of others, and don't be yourself. In fact, you need to interact with different people, and you also need to go through different successes and failures in order to have a more comprehensive and profound understanding of yourself and life.
Third, leave opportunities and leeway for others.
No one can get right all the time, and neither can you. Just because a person does something wrong doesn't mean he's not the right person.
On the one hand, a person who has always been right is not necessarily more suitable than a person who knows his mistakes and can change them. In fact, if a person can deny himself on a regular basis, it is a testament to his humility and flexibility, to his constant growth, and to the pure love and heartfelt respect he has for what he has done and for those around him.
On the other hand, a right person is constantly learning, and as long as he keeps learning, he will change often. Therefore, he will definitely overturn his previous ideas from time to time. He overturned what he had built with his own hands, not that his past was completely wrong and no longer good, but that he could always find something better, and he was always breaking through himself.
3 Stay away from the wrong people
I believe you must have discovered that every wisdom is multifaceted. You can get a revelation from its front, and when you turn to its side, you can also see the light.
Finding the right person is the other side of wisdom that is also of practical value. The "other side" is to stay away from the wrong people.
We can give an example. Let's say you have two groups of people around you, and they send you two completely opposite views on the same thing.
The words of a group of people always give you confidence and hope. They are positive, optimistic, sensible, and cautious, and they can always see the light in the dark places, and they use all kinds of wisdom to persuade you to persevere, be strong and courageous.
The words of the other group of people always make you feel hopeless and lonely. They tend to take away the motives of others from the deepest malice, to see things in the worst light, and they urge you to give up hope and make you accustomed to being discouraged.
Assuming that these two groups of people are exactly the same in terms of numbers, abilities, etc., guess which side you are more susceptible to?
You may think that since the two sides have exactly the same power, then I should be in a balanced position, right?
Not really. Because, although the forces on both sides are the same, you will have a tendency. On the surface, you are standing between these two groups of people and not making a choice, but in fact, if you can't run to the sun willingly and resolutely, it means that you have actually left room for darkness, and it means that you are actually thinking, maybe there is some truth in what the second group said. This hesitation will put you in a huge tear. If you miss out on the sun because you hesitate, or end up with nothing because you have difficulty making a decision, then the darkness has triumphed. The darkness does not need to pull you completely to its side, it only needs to make you question the light, deny the light, and already turn you into its slave before you even know it.
I want to give this example to show that it is just as important as finding the right people and staying away from those who are not right. Only by clearing the foolishness and filth from the heart can there be room for wisdom and light.
If the person is right, things will go smoothly.
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[Since you're here, don't go.] Focus on "The Vow" and let's meet again in the next topic. 】