"The Story of the Little Window" said: "It is better to make people have the joy of friendship at first glance, than to make people tired of not having a long-term place." ”
Walking in the world, we can always meet all kinds of people, and just maintaining a good relationship with each other can make us tired.
Sometimes, a blurted out sentence makes people feel guilty.
Sometimes, a casual action can also be unpleasant.
The difficulty of walking is not in the water, nor in the mountains, but in the repetition of human feelings.
Therefore, in the fifty-eighth chapter of the Tao Te Ching, it says: "The saint is not cut, honest but not slashed, and straight but not wanton." ”
Such a person is upright but not hardened; Angular, but not hurtful; Honest and straightforward, but not overly presumptuous.
When we get along with such people, we will feel like a spring breeze and feel relaxed.
01
Don't ask, understand each other
Chapter 58 of the Tao Te Ching says: "Its government is inspected, and its people are lacking." ”
It is to tell us that the more shrewd the political indoctrination, the less educated the people will be.
And the more shrewd a person is, the more annoying he will be when he breaks the casserole about anything.
It is a good thing to get to the bottom of learning, and getting along with others will only hurt feelings by mistake.
But in life, there are always many people who put on the coat of kindness and want to find out everything.
Some people know that it will make people worried, but they still want to chase and block other people's topics; Some people have seen that others are deliberately avoiding it, but they are still chasing after it.
The deeper the ploughing, the more severe the injury.
As the saying goes: "The one who saw the deep fish is unknown." ”
Shrewdness to get to the bottom of things will only reap the consequences and bring bad luck to yourself.
Life never needs reasoning, there are always things that should not be traced to the past, and there is no need to spend effort to seek understanding.
Just like a butterfly, although beautiful, is a caterpillar that many people avoid before turning into a butterfly.
There is a saying in "The Theory of Heaven": "Everyone knows why it is made, but I don't know that it is invisible, and the husband is the sky." Only the saints do not seek to know the heavens. ”
It basically means that people can see everything in nature, but they can't understand how they are generated, which is why it is called natural.
Whether it's a friend or a lover, or a parent or even a child, everyone has secrets and feelings that they can't tell anyone.
Between people, no matter how deep the relationship is, no matter how good the relationship is, we must maintain a respect and give each other some space in order to make the relationship last for a long time.
02
Don't cross the line, feel comfortable with each other
The Tao Te Ching says: "Contentment is not disgraceful, and knowledge is not destroyed." ”
If you can be content, there will be no humiliation in your heart; And if you get along with your friends and know how to do it in moderation, you won't invite disaster.
All the troubles of getting along with people stem from the lack of sense of proportion and the lack of a sense of boundary between each other.
Even if the relationship is intimate, you and I need to separate each other.
Regardless of the wanton nature of you and me, it will only make people give birth to a gap and eventually leave.
When Sanmao was in the Sahara Desert, he had a very good relationship with the girl next door, Guka.
However, after getting along for a long time, Guka lost his senses, and today he ordered onions and took away some firewood tomorrow.
Once, Sanmao looked for one of his dresses, but couldn't find it.
Later, I found out that it was Guka who looked good, so he took it on his own initiative.
Faced with this friend who has no sense of boundaries, Sanmao has never had contact with her since.
The ancients said: "People can do nothing, and then they can do something"
Life has a degree, when the flowers are half-opened, the wine is slightly drunk.
The most comfortable relationship between people is that the two are familiar with each other but never exceed the rules.
Get along with each other in moderation, don't do anything, and get to the point; Friendship should not be overdrawn, and a few points should be kept.
No matter how deep the feelings are, they will be broken for granted, and the flowers will reopen on a day, but it will be difficult to recover if the feelings are lost.
03
Don't force each other, be free with each other
In the Tao Te Ching, it says: "The way of heaven is to win without fighting, respond well without speaking, come from without calling, and be frank and strategic." ”
When we reach a certain age, we will understand that in this world, time, trust, and those who want to leave can never be forced.
Instead of reluctantly having people who want to leave, it is better to face the gathering and parting indifferently.
But whatever is demanded is pain.
During the Spring and Autumn Period, Gongzi Chong'er fled to the Jin Kingdom, and since then he has been displaced, and the people around him have left one after another, but Jie Zitui is still close by his side.
Many years later, after all the hardships, Chong'er became the Duke of Jin Wen, and when he was rewarded for meritorious deeds, he forgot Jie Zitui, and when he remembered it under the reminder of his subordinates, Jie Zitui had already said goodbye and returned to the mountains and forests.
Duke Wen of Jin was reluctant to let Jie Zitui leave, so he went to personally beg Jie Zi to push out the mountain, but Jie Zitui never wanted to meet.
In the end, Jin Wengong chose to set fire to the mountain, hoping to force him to come out of the mountain to meet under the billowing smoke, but finally burned Jie Zitui alive.
The ancients said: "There are times in life when you have to have it, and there are times in life when you don't force it." ”
Not everyone we meet has to be invited into our lives.
Coming and going are all guests, gathering and scattering and following fate, you have your pursuit, and he also has his choice.
The fate is deep, so they rely on each other and walk hand in hand.
The fate is shallow, so I will send blessings and leave a thought.
It's better to be entangled with fate, give yourself a sense of decency, and give others a respect.
▽
In life, compared with strong tea and mellow wine, we often like the purity of water, indifferent and ordinary.
Therefore, there is a cloud in "Zhuangzi": "The friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, and the friendship between villains is sweet." “
The relationship between people often needs to be as light as water.
There is neither the aggressive enthusiasm nor the pressure of "not seeing each other for a day".
It's not sweet, it's not greasy, it's not loose, it's just right, so it's comfortable to get along with.
The road is long, I hope you and I can be in a comfortable relationship, accompany the long road of life, and appreciate the more beautiful scenery of life.