There is a saying in psychology:
"Parents and children are the best gifts they can give each other."
Only when a person becomes a father or mother can he experience the joy and difficulty of being a parent on the road of life, and understand the meaning of being willing to pay.
A person becomes the role of a son or a child, so that no matter where he goes, he has a concern in his heart, knowing that the people who love him in the world are his parents, as long as he returns home, he can unload his fatigue and enjoy the warmth of home.
Parents and children are people who complete each other, and because of this, they can become the closest people in the world and withstand the ups and downs along the way.
But in real life, too many parents and their children are becoming more and more estranged, and even get along with each other in a "hostile" manner, making each other the strangers in the world.
There are many reasons behind this, but the most important one is that as a parent, you can't put yourself in the right position, and always use your own way to give and manage, but you don't realize that you can understand their growth from the perspective of your children.
In the long run, when neither of them can understand each other, it will only make the relationship between parents and children tense, and each thinks that they are right, no matter what they say to each other, it will be futile, and it will only exacerbate the relationship to strangers.
Among them, the most common and main reason is the following.
Parents and children turn their faces and become enemies, mainly because of these 5 words: You have to listen to me, but unfortunately many people don't pay attention.
1 The best relationship between parents and children begins with respect
Do you remember this scene in the TV series "The World"?
No matter what the youngest son Zhou Bingkun does, in the eyes of his father Zhou Zhigang, he is useless, or he is not doing his job.
Because in Lao Zhou's heart, only sons and daughters who can go to college are the most promising, because they all listened to their father's arrangements, and only Zhou Chengcheng always had his own ideas.
However, no matter how Zhou Cheng proves himself in front of his father, he will always not get his father's approval, but as long as the two are together, they will never be able to talk together.
In the end, the reconciliation between father and son is that Zhou Zhigang really understands that he should not always ask his son in his own way, he should have more understanding and respect, they have their own life path to go, and they do not necessarily have to follow their own way.
In real life, parents and children turn their faces and become enemies in the end, most of them start from the parents' "one word" and "their own decision", no matter what they say, as children, they must implement it 100%, and there can be no opposition in the slightest.
This kind of love is a kind of bondage for children, and it will intensify the relationship between parents and children.
There is a reader named Xiaofang who said that she will never forgive her parents.
It turns out that everything I have done since I was a child will be arranged by my parents in advance, even if I have some personal opinions, I will be ruthlessly rejected by my parents.
I have always liked broadcasting and hosting, and she is also an active literary and artistic element in school, and her teachers and classmates also praise her for her talent in this area.
When she wanted to apply for such a college during the college entrance examination, she was severely criticized by her parents, who thought that it would be easier for her to find a job in the future.
When she expressed her disagreement, her parents used "if you don't obey, you will break off the father-daughter relationship" as an excuse to force her to obey her arrangement.
Xiaofang had no choice but to obey her parents' arrangement, and she was not happy and happy when she studied, and after graduation, she didn't expect that it would be not so easy for normal graduates to find jobs, so she could only go to a kindergarten not far from home to teach.
This is not her dream at all, and the long-term depression made her suffer from depression, and the whole person became a little trance.
At all times, parents should not take their children for granted that they are their own personal belongings, but should treat them as independent individuals, give them respect and understanding, even if they want to choose a different path in life from their own hearts, do not oppose all of them.
Times are changing, and their social experience may not all be correct in the present, so it is better to give them more advice, so that they can know the priorities of their choices, and it is the best concern for parents for their children.
2 Parents and children can have a harmonious relationship, and they are often inseparable from each other's proportions
There is a saying:
"The more intimate the relationship, the more important it is to get along with each other."
In many people's cognition, the closer the relationship between two people, the more they can be fearful, and the other party can understand what they want to do.
In fact, this is a big mistake.
Because they are independent individuals at all times, even if they have been together for a longer time, they will have different views and opinions around an issue.
This also applies to the relationship between parents and children, who want to get along with each other often inseparable from the word "measured".
The real sense of proportion is not to do everything for them personally, nor to let the children obey their own arrangements in every detail, but to let go selectively.
No matter how much parents love their children, it is impossible to shelter them from the wind and rain for the rest of their lives, but give them a ride and leave silently.
In this case, don't get along with your children in line with the principle of "you have to listen to me", but let them choose and experience it themselves, even if there will be pain, but only after really experiencing it, will they spread their wings and soar into the sky.
Whether it is when their children are young, or when they grow up, parents must put themselves in the right position and can provide them with more opinions and suggestions, but the final choice is in their hands and let their children choose for themselves.
Life is an experience, and it is the greatest pride of parents to let their children choose to follow their own life path and let them become the best version of themselves in life.
When children really grasp the right to choose life, they have the ability to be responsible for their own lives, even if they encounter failure, they will get up again, and they will definitely not lose the opportunity to be themselves because they obey their parents' arrangements too much.
The deepest love of parents for their children is never in the name of love, to restrain their growth and choices, but to give respect and measure, so that the relationship between them will last for a long time.
If you want to get along well with your children and not turn your face into an enemy, you should have more respect and understanding, and leave a suitable space for each other, so that you can get along well and have a harmonious relationship!
Remember!
-END-
Image source: Photo.com