I remember when I was in elementary school and junior high school, I had two homework books during the winter vacation, and I was like this every time. Me: "A, I write Chinese, you write mathematics, shall we copy it when the time comes?" A agreed. Then I said, "B, I write mathematics, you write Chinese, shall we copy it when the time comes?" B agreed. Then every holiday brother has a very chic time, just wait to copy it.
There is a black birthmark on my 3-year-old son's buttocks, and one day when my wife was bathing my son, I said worriedly: Will this birthmark affect him to ask for a wife in the future? Wife: No! By the time she found out, it was too late. She makes a point, huh!!
I went to my girlfriend's house for dinner last night, her parents sat opposite me, and after the dumplings were served, I went to get vinegar, and when I came back, I thought, we are both engaged, and we are about to get married, so I said to my mother-in-law first: Mom, let's have some vinegar? Mom was pleasantly surprised: come on. Then he said to his father-in-law: Uncle, are you jealous?
There are seven people in the department, six old comrades, the average age is 44 years old, I am the youngest, I am usually tired like a dog every day, I come to everything, this is the background, do not cut. I finally heard that new blood was coming, and I was so happy. Finally, today's official announcement came, and two old comrades in their fifties came, bringing down the average age of 49 years old, and I trembled with my 88-year-old ID card...
Yesterday, I saw a buddy buying knee pads, and I asked him, are you going to play ball, or are you going to exercise? This thing lost a sentence that made me think about it for a long time before I understood. He said, "The mat on the bed is too hard."
Yesterday, I went to my little girlfriend's house to see her parents, and when I opened the door, it was my first girlfriend, my girlfriend was actually her daughter, and what was even more nonsense was that my father-in-law was actually the head teacher who persuaded me to break up with my first love.
A: "Your dad is such a stingy guy, he's a watch seller, and you only wear a worn, old electronic watch" B: "Your dad is even more stingy, he's a dentist, and you only have 3 teeth"
Our math teacher always likes to pretend to be humorous and tell jokes that no one laughs at, and we all talk about pranking him, and when he says the first thing in class, we all laugh in unison, and that day he came in and was silent for a while, and said that his dad had died, and I immediately laughed out loud, and the others were silent.
Yesterday afternoon, I suddenly found that I had neck lines. I didn't have the heart to eat dinner, so I went to the Internet to find out if there was any neck care cream. Husband: If you don't eat, you go shopping online, what do you want to buy??? I didn't bother to pay attention to him, so I replied: Buy it to wipe your neck. Husband: Daughter-in-law, do you still need to buy it? We have kitchen knives and fruit knives.
Child: "Dad, what does the FBI mean?" Dad: "FBI." Child: "Daddy, what does Warning mean?" Dad: "Warning." Child: "Dad, what does FBI WARNING mean?" Dad: "Damn, you dare to mess with the computer and kill you!" ”