A sharing from a mom
In the first few years of becoming a mother, I was full of children, and I poured all my energy into them without reservation.
However, instead of becoming as good as I expected, the child became more and more rebellious, and the parent-child relationship became strained.
In the case of my child's homework, at first, I always watched closely, and I couldn't help but lose my temper at the slightest mistake and accuse him of carelessness.
As a result, the child not only does not become more serious, but instead becomes resistant to homework, and his temper becomes irritable. This made me realize that using a temper to discipline my child will not solve the problem at all, it will only make the situation worse.
Later, I began to adjust my strategy, and the concept of children's education was "less", not only did the parent-child relationship improve, but the children also made great progress.
1. Pay less attention to your children
I found that when I pay too much attention to my child and spend too much energy on his every move, I will always unconsciously have various opinions and want to intervene and control his behavior.
For example, when my child is playing, I am always worried that he will play for too long and delay his learning, so I frequently urge him to finish. But this excessive intervention not only hinders the child's self-growth, but also seriously damages the parent-child relationship between us.
2. Less competition with children
When my child grows up and has his own ideas and opinions, I always compete with him.
For example, he wants to participate in a certain interest class, but I think it is useless and resolutely disagrees, but the child and I are twisted, and no one will give in, and in the end both sides lose.
Later, I learned to "retreat as advance, and overcome rigidity with softness", listening to his ideas first, and then analyzing the pros and cons with him, so that my child was more receptive to my suggestions.
3. Help your children less
I used to do everything for me, helping the children with dressing, feeding, and organizing school bags. However, the child's growth rate is very slow, and the sense of independence is also very weak.
Until one time, I tried to let the child tidy up the room by himself, although he didn't do it perfectly at first, but in the process, he gradually learned how to plan the space, how to organize things, and his sense of independence increased significantly.
This made me understand that by being a "rotten" mother, children can bring us more surprises.
4. Less preaching
In the process of educating children, I have also fallen into endless preaching. Always nagging in front of the child, repeatedly emphasizing that you should study hard, pay attention to this, pay attention to that.
But children often go in and out of the left ear, and the effect is almost zero. Later, I changed my method, no longer just verbally, but set an example, insisting on reading and learning every day, and the children saw my efforts and persistence, and were unconsciously affected and began to take the initiative to pick up books.
5. Don't take care of children
In daily life, I have also learned to "grasp the big and let go of the small", giving children freedom within the bottom line. Let him decide what to eat, what to wear, and what to play with his child.
Once, my child went to school with a set of clothes, and although it didn't look beautiful to me, he was confident and happy all day. Since then, children have become more decisive and assertive in their choices.
6. Less anxious children
I used to be anxious, worried that my child's grades would not be good, and that he would not be able to do well in the future.
But then I found out that 99% of my anxiety was useless, and it was easy to get myself into negative emotions, and even project this anxiety onto my child, causing great stress to my child.
Now, I've allowed myself to relax and stop worrying too much. Many moms may wonder, as I once did, are we not doing anything?
In fact, this is not the case, parenting is inherently a process of constantly letting go.
For example, when a child learns to ride a bicycle, we can't hold on to it all the time, we must let go at the right time, and let the child try it on his own to master the balance.
We must first do our best, become a role model for our children, and give them the energy and motivation to move forward. It is like a bright light, not to illuminate the road under the feet of the child at all times, but to guide the direction in the distance, so that the child can work hard along his own path.
In short, as mothers, we must learn to adjust our mentality and methods, "less" at the right time, give our children more space and freedom, and believe that our children will bring us unexpected growth and progress.
I hope that we will accompany our children to grow up with a more intelligent and calm attitude and welcome a better future together.
(The picture comes from the Internet, invaded and deleted)