Material/ From a real interview (told by someone)
The content and opinions / are original to the author
My name is Shi Chengliang, and in 1996, I came to teach in a township middle school in the northwest mountainous area.
This year, I was twenty-eight years old.
After graduating from Normal University, I worked as a teacher in a school in the city for five years, signed up as a volunteer teacher, and after I was approved, I went to the mountains to support local education.
When I write about my marital status on my resume, I write about divorce.
Half a year ago, I got divorced.
The divorce was initiated by my ex-wife, and I did not hold on or fight for anything.
She cheated on me and framed me for cheating first.
When we got married, she was an executive in a foreign factory company, and I was a teacher, so I didn't work in the same unit, and both of us were very busy, and we had to work overtime a lot of the time, and we got off work very late.
I only thought that this marriage could last for three years, which was already beyond my expectations, but in fact, in the first year of marriage, I had a hunch that it would not last for many years.
Eventually, I decided she was cheating.
I also negotiated with her at the time, as long as she changed her ways, I could forgive her for the mistakes she had made in the past, and when nothing happened, I could continue to live our married life.
However, she was afraid that I would sue her, so she framed me for cheating and used the lawyer as well.
I divorced her peacefully, and there was no entanglement in property, because we both received our own salaries.
My ex-wife and I don't have children, she has been using contraception and doesn't want to have children.
In the nineties, the social pressures of divorce were much greater than they are now, because there were relatively few divorces in those days.
If someone among relatives and friends is divorced, many people will look at him with strange eyes.
I don't care about other people's eyes, but I have suffered a lot of pain, and I feel most sorry for my parents.
I was their only son, and they spent a lot of money to get me married, but in the end, I couldn't get them to hold their grandson, which was my biggest failure.
When I came out of the pain, my biggest wish was to remarry and give birth to a son and a half daughter, so that my parents could hold their grandchildren and enjoy the joy of family.
But I know that remarriage is very difficult.
At that time, in the eyes of ordinary people, teachers were a profession with low income, and if they were divorced, it would be basically difficult to find them again, and even if they did, they would be in poor condition.
The treatment and environment of the township middle school is definitely much worse than the middle school in the city, you have to take a cold shower, there is no air conditioning, there is no washing machine, there is no entertainment at night, you can only read a book, which is quite hard.
However, I only think that coming here to teach and educate people can better realize the value of life.
Whenever I see the progress of the students, I will have an indescribable sense of satisfaction in my heart, and doing a good job of teaching every day has become my spiritual pillar, so that I no longer have to bear the pain of my emotional life.
On the third day I came to the dormitory building of this township middle school, I noticed a beautiful female teacher.
She lives on the second floor of the female teacher's dormitory, while our male teacher lives on the third floor.
Since I didn't know much about everything as a new recruit, she took me to the dormitory arranged for me, and introduced all the surrounding environment, the basic situation of the school and the living facilities.
Her name is Yang Qinglian, and when I saw her for the first time, I only felt that her big glasses could not hide her rather temperamental eyes, and her face was snow-white, with apricot eyes and willow eyebrows, and she was quite good-looking.
However, I could tell that she was not the kind of young governess in her twenties, because she smiled and there were some signs of age in the corners of her eyes.
But on the whole, she is still quite feminine and beautiful.
When I talked to her, I also felt that her voice seemed mature and gentle, revealing that she was a woman with a lot of thoughts.
She and I were facing each other in front of the empty dorm room.
She smiled at me and asked me if there was anything else I could do to find her downstairs.
With that, she was ready to turn and leave.
At that moment, I couldn't help but ask her, "Teacher Yang, are you living alone in the female teacher's single dormitory below?" Why don't you live in a family dormitory? ”
I knew that my questioning would be too presumptuous for her and me, who were still strangers to each other, and might cause her displeasure.
She just smiled bitterly and replied: "I'm still single, I'm forty, I haven't met the right person yet, God seems to want to make my fate come a little later, and won't even give me this fate, but I think it's okay, it's good to be single." ”
After hearing this, I just felt that I should not have said something like that and mentioned her sore spots, so I apologized to her.
She smiled and shook her head, saying that it was nothing, and then she smiled and asked me, "What about you?" ”
I replied directly that I got married when I was twenty-five years old, but unfortunately my wife and I could not survive this marriage, divorced, and now single at the age of twenty-eight.
After hearing this, she looked at me with pity, and seemed to see the frustration and melancholy in my heart, and finally said to me that I am still young, although I am divorced, but at the age of twenty-eight, it is not difficult to find a suitable woman to remarry, and she is forty years old, but it is quite difficult to marry.
But I told her that she was actually a very attractive woman, so mature and charming, full of femininity, she was so beautiful, there must be many men pursuing her, how could she be so pessimistic about her marriage.
She smiled wryly again, but shook her head.
Immediately afterward, she told me that many men, as well as their parents, have a traditional concept that finding a woman to marry home and marry is to have children and pass on the family lineage, and women are already past the best childbearing age when they reach the age of forty, and even many traditional older generations may think that such women cannot have children at all.
Therefore, no matter how beautiful she looks, she looks like she is about thirty years old, there are indeed many men who pursue her, and some unmarried male teachers in the school have pursued her, but they have all given up.
She walked around the streets of the town outside, and there were many men who admired her and wanted to get to know her.
However, she will always make it clear that she is already a forty-year-old woman, so the other party will be discouraged.
If he continues to pursue her, he does not consider the marriage and whether it will end in the end.
After saying all this, Teacher Yang Qinglian's eyes were filled with a heavy light, as if she was embarrassed and confused about her current marriage and love status and encounters, and she was also at a loss as to whether she would have a marriage destination in the future.
Suddenly, I felt as if I saw the inner world of this forty-year-old female teacher, and it was her frankness and undisguised nature that made me feel the loneliness she usually endured, as well as all the pressures that the world gave her.
I couldn't help but feel a pang in my heart, and immediately told her that she should be optimistic, and God would definitely arrange a good fate for her, so that she could get a good marriage and live with that suitable person.
She smiled helplessly again, saying thank you for my blessings, she thought I would be a good friend, and I could communicate with her more in the future.
When Teacher Yang Qinglian left, I was alone in the dormitory, I couldn't sleep all night, my heart kept beating, maybe this is a throbbing, but at the same time it is also a kind of entanglement and uneasiness.
The question I was pondering was, if I were to marry Ms. Yang Qinglian, would my parents object, would they be unacceptable because I was going to marry a 40-year-old woman, thinking that we might not have children, after all, a 40-year-old woman will not have a smooth birth as a woman in her 20s in terms of childbearing.
Besides, I have a heartfelt feeling for Yang Qinglian, however, will she dislike me, a 28-year-old divorced male teacher?
After all, I'm a second-hand man.
What am I like in her heart, and what place can I occupy in her heart?
After thinking about it, I only felt that I might really fall in love with her one day, but my final decision was to interact with her in the form of ordinary colleagues and ordinary friends in the next time, and get to know each other, which would be better.
If I had pursued her immediately, she might not have been able to accept it, and might even avoid me, and I would have no chance of becoming ordinary friends with her.
Whenever I go to the school cafeteria, I always see if I can sit next to Ms. Yang Qinglian so that I can talk to her.
However, such opportunities are quite rare.
In addition, because I teach different grades, Ms. Yang Qinglian and I have nothing to do with her in our work, she teaches mathematics and I teach English.
And less than a month after I came to work in this township middle school, I only felt that the unmarried female teachers in the school seemed to want to get close to me.
I thought to myself, maybe it was because they didn't know that my marital status was divorced, and they found out that I was a normal graduate of English 8, so they wanted to know me more, maybe it would help them improve their English.
I eventually told my colleagues about my marital status very directly.
In this way, all the female teachers know that I am divorced, and they will not have the enthusiasm they had before and will be estranged from me.
Only Teacher Yang Qinglian, she is still very active and enthusiastic to greet me with a smile every time she meets me, so that I only feel that she has no prejudice against me, a divorced male teacher.
I only thought in my heart, should I be quite active and blatantly pursue Teacher Yang Qinglian and let the whole school know?
But whenever I have such an idea, I shake my head, and I just feel that it is not feasible.
Because this will become a laughing stock, and it will also make Teacher Yang Qinglian feel embarrassed, and in the end, it will be impossible for me and her to develop a romantic relationship.
For a while, although I really wanted to express my love to Teacher Yang Qinglian and pursue her, I only felt that I had no way to start, there were many difficulties, and it was really not so easy to pierce this window paper.
However, God seemed to sense what was going on in my heart, so he arranged for me to have a relationship with Teacher Yang Qinglian.
Once, in the evening, Yang Qinglian fetched a bucket of water from the hot water supply on campus back to her dormitory.
"Is it Mr. Yang? I'm here to help you! I immediately stepped forward and helped her carry the large bucket of water.
She smiled kindly, thanked me, and whispered to me that she was sorry for me.
That smile made me feel her virtuous and elegant.
And when I helped her bring the bucket of water to her dormitory, she asked me if I wanted to go in to her, and she poured me a glass of boiling water for me to drink before leaving.
Immediately after, she opened the door of the somewhat old dormitory, and I saw that everything inside was quite clean and tidy, and there was a burst of floral fragrance coming from inside, I don't know where she picked the magnolia, anyway, it was her careful thinking that was enough to improve her life style a lot.
I couldn't help but walk in, but found that the electric light in her dormitory was flickering on and off, but after a while, it returned to normal.
I said to her, "Teacher Yang, the lights in your dormitory are broken. ”
She nodded, and reluctantly said to me that this was indeed the case, but she felt that it did not affect much, because it was only a temporary malfunction, and she also had a small desk lamp, which could get light to read at night.
But I told her that this one needs to be repaired, and I know how to fix it, so let me see what the situation is, and then replace her with a light bulb.
When she heard this, her eyes were full of thanks, and she said to me, "That's really going to trouble me."
I hurriedly pedaled my bike, ran to town, and bought a new light bulb.
Then I went to Ms. Yang Qinglian's dormitory to change the light bulb in her dormitory.
Since there was no ladder, and I asked myself if I was tall enough to have the electric light high up in the wall, I asked her to move a stool for me to step on so that I could do the action.
However, as I stepped on the wooden stool and changed the light bulb and the whole dormitory became brighter, I heard a "squeak" of wooden blocks breaking under my feet.
This really scared me, because the wooden stool was too old to hold my weight and broke.
I immediately felt unsteady on my feet, and my whole body lost its center of gravity, and I was about to fall to the ground.
Yang Qinglian had been watching from the side, and when she saw such a situation, she immediately exclaimed: "Teacher Shi! You have to be careful! ”
However, I still couldn't stand on my feet, and I was about to fall to the ground, and I guess I would be injured if I fell like this, and it was possible that the injury would not be light.
But in the end, it was Yang Qinglian who hugged me desperately, and used her body to withstand the gravity of my dumping past, so that I could land smoothly and without the kind of injury I was worried about.
At this moment, Yang Qinglian and I hugged each other and looked at each other.
She and I were both blushing in embarrassment, and I guess she had never experienced it before, so her blush was beyond my imagination.
In the end, I held her steady and apologized to her, after all, she is a big girl, and I made her suffer by being close to her like this, which is really what I am sorry for.
"I'm sorry! Teacher Yang, I really shouldn't be like this. I said awkwardly to Yang Qinglian.
But Yang Qinglian just asked me if I was hurt now, and she didn't think I needed to apologize to her, after all, in this case, we would inevitably have to do this, otherwise one party would definitely be injured.
I replied that I was not hurt.
She told me that I must have been frightened at this moment, and she was only embarrassed because the light bulb in her dormitory needed to be replaced, which caused me to break out in a cold sweat.
I said nothing.
Just as I was about to leave, she suddenly lost her breath, as if she had mustered up a great deal of courage, and said to me:
"Mr. Shi, let me express my apologies this time, I want you to go to a dessert shop in the town tonight and eat red bean paste together, are you free?"
After Yang Qinglian said these words, she kept panting, and she also looked quite nervous, as if she was worried that she would be rejected, and that she would lose the reserve that a woman should have, and suffer a setback.
I thought to myself, if I rejected her, it would really break her heart, so how could I do that? What's more, I am also eagerly looking forward to having a chance to develop with her, and now she has taken the initiative to invite me, and I don't need to take the initiative.
Eventually, I nodded and made an appointment with her.
I made an appointment with her to wait at half past eight in the evening, in front of the school gate.
Since she and I didn't want anyone in the school to see us, she and I each pedaled a bicycle, and when we got to the front of the school, we both nodded to each other, and then we pedaled back and forth towards the town.
When I came to the dessert shop with her, and the two of us sat down opposite each other, I only felt that I usually had too many words to say to her, and I could finally talk to her at this moment.
Teacher Yang Qinglian probably has no experience in love at all, so even if I sit opposite her like this, she will be flushed and quite shy.
I first told my ex-wife about my love and the process of getting married, and what was the reason why my ex-wife and I divorced, and I made it clear to her with the most frank and sincere attitude throughout the whole process.
She listened attentively, nodded her head constantly, and her eyes showed sympathy for me, and she also felt the same as me for the failure of my marriage, and only felt that I was actually quite unlucky.
And when I asked her about her past love experience, she replied that because she is introverted and likes to read romance literature, her demand for the spiritual aspect of love is quite high, so she will not accept other people's pursuits casually, and she has never been in love.
When she was studying as a teacher, she never fell in love because she obeyed her parents' instructions, and after graduation, she became a people's teacher, and she devoted herself to teaching with all her body and mind, so she had no time to talk about it, and it dragged on until she was forty years old.
I was dumbfounded, and she smiled awkwardly and asked, "Do I not believe me?"
I nodded in convincing.
Because, if a beautiful woman living in the city told me that she hadn't been in love until she was forty years old, I wouldn't believe it.
But if a beautiful female teacher like Yang Qinglian, because she is so focused on her work as a teacher, that she has only devoted all her time to teaching, so that she has not fallen in love, and has not married until she is forty years old, I think it is worth believing.
After I finished dessert with her, she faced me, although she was still so shy, but she seemed much more natural and comfortable than before, and looked at me with an affectionate gaze, and there was a wave of eager anticipation.
I took a deep breath and asked her if she wanted to experience what it was like to be in love and taste it, and if she accepted the pursuit of a twenty-eight-year-old male teacher who was married and divorced.
At that moment, her heart seemed to be beating non-stop, and she spoke with excitement and excitement, and she asked me, am I serious? Did I really think about whether my parents would be willing to accept her as a forty-year-old daughter-in-law if I were to fall in love with her and marry her.
She didn't know if she would be able to have a baby, so I had to take that into account, and whether I could withstand some outside voices and eyes, all of which could be stressful on me, because she was forty years old, I was twenty-eight, and she was twelve years older than me.
I told her that I had thought all of this very clearly, and that my parents, I would make it clear to my parents when I brought her back in the future, even if my parents were against it, I would stick to my decision because of my love, and I was ready to marry her.
In terms of childbirth, I also obey God's arrangement, if God does not allow us to have a son and a half daughter, I will not regret it, because at least I have love.
She burst into tears of excitement after listening to what I said, and finally she nodded tearfully and agreed to be my object and fall in love with me.
In order not to arouse the discussion of teachers and students in the school and cause adverse effects, Yang Qinglian and I fell in love in secret.
Even on a date, she and I each pedal a bicycle, meeting at a certain location outside the school, and then pedaling to a certain place one after the other.
In the end, after more than three months of sweet love with her, I just felt that we were both very suitable for our other half, and we were a real couple who could be life partners, so we were ready to get married and meet each other's parents before we got married.
When I went to her hometown and met her parents, I was actually nervous.
Because I don't know if her parents were prejudiced against me when they learned that I was a married and divorced man, and therefore disagreed with my marriage to her.
But her parents are also quite open-minded elderly couple, and because she is forty years old, her parents are actually very happy to know that she can finally find the right person to marry, and after talking to me, her parents also think that I am a very good man, and can trust their daughter to me.
I took Yang Qinglian back to my parents, and my parents learned that she was forty years old, although at first, they were also a little shocked, they were only worried about a little bit of fertility problems.
I told my parents that Yang Qinglian and I would do our best, believing that medicine is now very advanced, so even if we give birth to a child at the age of 40, there will be no major problems.
In the end, my parents also agreed, and they said that in the matter of childbirth, it is also natural, if they can't give birth smoothly, they can accept it, resigned to fate, anyway, the most important thing is that I find someone who really loves each other and love each other for a lifetime.
Yang Qinglian and I got married on the next day.
In the first year of marriage, she and I worked hard to get pregnant, and finally gave birth to a healthy son in the second year, and she finally made me a father.
When my parents hugged their grandson, they all cried with joy, and they only felt that it was my blessing and their blessing to marry such a good daughter-in-law.
－END－
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