After eating, I took a walk in the park and saw a fat father and son doing sports. The father was helping his son do sit-ups, but when he saw that his son was dying, the father shouted, "Do you want to marry a wife like your mother in the future?" The son shouted, "No! "I'm back motivated. Uncle, you hang like this, does your wife know?
On the weekend, my son has to go to the bathhouse to take a shower! To be honest, in the winter of several degrees below zero, I only washed it the day before yesterday! No matter how you coax him, you have to go, don't let him say that his body is too dirty, smelly, and other children don't play with him, so there is such a good reason not to let him go! So I took shampoo, shower gel, and bath towels and drove to the bathhouse, lined up to buy tickets to take a hot bath, and after less than five minutes of bathing, my son couldn't wait to say that he was done with the shower and wanted to go out, and reminded me: Dad, this bath is done, and the ice cream seller in the hall is still there! Didn't you say last time you would buy ice cream for you when you came to take a shower? I instantly understood that I wanted to eat ice cream after making trouble for a long time......
This morning, barefoot wearing slippers to cook rice balls to eat, out of the pot, the spoon deflected off a rice ball on the back of my foot, Nima hurt me, immediately jumped up and stepped on the rice balls barefoot......
I went to the hotel with my mistress to open a room, because it was cheating, so I went in and out separately, pretending not to know, just came out of the room, walked to the bar and I was checking out, she was waiting for me not far from the hotel door, and saw her husband and a woman walking to the hotel. She stepped forward and grabbed her husband's ear and said, "Fuck, my mother has been squatting here for days, and she finally caught you."
The first time I went to my girlfriend's house, I was about to tell a joke when I wanted to liven up the atmosphere during dinner, and her father said very sternly: "My family has a rule that you can't talk during dinner." "Later, when I went there a lot, I got more familiar, and every time I ate, her father would listen to me tell jokes. The girlfriend whispered to her father, "Have you forgotten the rules of our family?" Her father also whispered: "This thing is eating too fast, we won't have any food if we don't let him talk." ”
When I went up the stairs after lunch today, I was followed by a female colleague, she stepped on high heels and didn't walk steadily, and I grabbed me in front of me when I stumbled, I hurriedly turned around to support her, and asked with concern, "Are you okay?" How does it feel? She replied shyly that it was fine, and then said that in order to thank me, she would invite me to dinner in the evening. After saying that, I walked away in shame, leaving me alone to silently lift the sweatpants....
My chubby is a kindergarten teacher, a child's father's mobile phone fell in the child's schoolbag, the bell rang in class, chubby took it and answered: Hey, hello, I'm 。。。。。 The mother of the child over there interrupted and scolded: You stole my husband's mobile phone? No, my husband is with you? My chubby family was aggrieved, and was about to explain again, when the child approached and called "Mom". The other end of the phone went crazy, and the child's mother cried and shouted: I beg you, I don't want the phone, oh no! I don't want my husband anymore, can you give me back the child?
A speeding motorcycle on the corner of the street grabbed a bag and drove away, the girl chased a few steps out of reach, squatted down and lost her voice, after a while, a bag was gently placed in front of her, she opened it and looked, wallet, ID card, bank card...... The disability and deaf-mute certificates are all there, and there is an extra 100 yuan in it, with the lame word "sorry" written on it
I have had a dream since I was a child, wearing sunglasses and driving a BMW for more than 20 years, and I am finally not far from the dream.
As soon as I answered the phone, the other party opened his mouth and asked, "Are you home?" "The number is unfamiliar, but the tone must be an acquaintance, I don't know who it is. I was afraid that the other party would be embarrassed, so I also pretended to be familiar with him: "Can I still be home on Friday?" Dinner! It's like that on Friday, where are you? What's the matter with me? The other party was silent for a while and said, "The takeaway you ordered, I'm at your doorstep." ”