A: A brother asked me to borrow money, saying that her girlfriend was pregnant and wanted to be killed. B: Did you borrow it? A: If you don't borrow it, you think I'm stingy. But if I borrow it, I can't bear it, after all, it's my own flesh and blood. ……
My daughter-in-law came back after cutting my bangs and asked me how I cut them, and I said, "Nice to say, like a fairy." She glared at me and asked, "What about that bad sound?" ”“…… Like a fairy. I pinched my throat and said in the voice of a duck.
History is always strikingly similar, and I was single for another year. It's not good to work, it's not good to be in love, it's not good to put on makeup, it's not good to sing K, it's not good to look, it's not good to have a body, it's not good to have economic strength. I've been thinking about what has kept me alive for so many years...
Once upon a time, there was a boy who had a crush on a girl in his class, and when he applied for the college entrance examination, the boy asked the girl where to apply, and the girl replied: Jinan University. After hearing this, the boy decided to quietly apply to the same university as her, wanting to surprise her. So two months later, the boy stepped on the train to Shandong......
A taxi driver accidentally hit a BMW, and when the BMW driver got out of the car, he shouted: "Yanchang went there, can you afford to pay for the car of three or four hundred thousand?" The taxi driver calmly replied: "I need more than 300,000 yuan for this car to go through all the procedures." ”
On the day of graduation, the class president proposed that the whole class sit in a circle, and each person write a secret of his own on a slip of paper and pass it on to the person on the left, so that everyone can share a secret of their own while keeping a secret of others. I deliberately sat to his left. I had a crush for four years but didn't dare to confess, and it was good to know a secret from him, so I comforted myself. There were only three words on the note that came: I love you.
Bought a shirt online! I tried to lose weight when I arrived, the buttons couldn't be buttoned, and the seller didn't change it, I thought about it again and again, and I made up my mind to lose weight, I also fought for this shirt, and every time I ate, I lost more than 30 pounds after running five kilometers a day, and I tried the shirt again, and looked in the mirror, which was good, and it fits perfectly! Sadly, the clothes I usually wear are now as big as wearing Hanfu, and none of them fit...
One day my daughter-in-law told me that she was bored and wanted me to take her to find something exciting to do. I said, why don't we go for a bully meal? The daughter-in-law happily said yes, yes, yes. So after ordering, we found a place to sit by the door, and while she went to the bathroom, I secretly settled the bill. When she came back, she started to eat, and when she was almost done, I whispered to her if she was ready. The daughter-in-law nodded excitedly, and then I pulled her out and ran out, and along the way, the daughter-in-law smiled so happily...
When a taxi pulled over on the road, it collided with a motorcycle, and the two drivers got out of the car and quarreled. Noisy and arguing, the uncle riding a motorcycle suddenly pointed at me and scolded: "You are a red face and a troubled water!" Oops, I'll go...... The scolding makes my heart feel good.
I earned money outside and bought a new car to return home. My brother greeted me from afar, still in the same tattered clothes. When he got into the car, he blinked and looked up and down, his ass twisting uneasily, and muttered, "It's good." Do you think your ass is upside down? I said, "How can it, this car is more than 300,000 yuan, and I don't feel like it is bumpy at all." "Oh, that's good. I took the villagers to grow vegetables in greenhouses, and earned more than 100,000 yuan, so I built this road. "I...