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Text: Yanyan
Edited by Yeon-yeon
Preface
In life, we often hear the old saying "trouble comes from the mouth", but did you know that some words will not only affect interpersonal relationships, but may also violate the will of God and make your fate difficult.
It is often said that there are four things that should not be easily spoken, otherwise life will be full of twists and turns. What exactly are these four words?
Why are they so important that speaking out can lead to bad luck? Is there really such a mysterious power that controls our destiny?
1. Be cautious in words and deeds: the double-edged sword of words
In traditional Chinese culture, "speech" has always been regarded as a double-edged sword. It can make or break a person. As the Analects says: "Clever words make the color, and the words are fresh." This is a warning that rhetoric is often the opposite of sincerity and kindness.
In the long history of history, there are countless examples of being convicted for speech. The most well-known is the story of Tang Bohu, a genius in the Tang Dynasty. This merry and talented man should have a bright future, but he caused trouble because of an arrogant remark.
It was a spring afternoon, Tang Bohu and his friend Xu Jing went to Beijing to take the exam. On the way, they were fortunate to get acquainted with the chief examiner of the imperial examination.
On the day of the exam, in the face of difficult exam questions, many candidates were worried, but Tang Bohu and Xu Jing were confident. In front of everyone's eyes, they said such wild words as "can be the champion" without thinking.
This sentence is like a pebble thrown into a calm lake, stirring up a thousand waves. Other candidates speculated that they had a private collusion with the examiner, and even reported it to the imperial court, accusing them of cheating in the imperial examination.
Although the investigation confirmed that there was no such thing, rumors were already spreading. In the end, Tang Bohu not only failed to win the examination, but was also sentenced to 50 boards and was permanently deprived of the imperial examination.
The lesson of this story is that words are like knives, and if they are not used carelessly, they can hurt others and hurt themselves. Even if you are talented, you need to be careful with what you say and do, otherwise a casual remark could ruin your future.
2. Humility is cherished: the wisdom of low-key life
The old saying "full of losses, humble benefits" speaks to the importance of humility. On the stage of life, humility is not only a virtue, but also a wisdom.
Let's look at the early days of the Han Dynasty and see how two highly decorated generals went to very different fates because of their different attitudes towards the world.
Zhang Liang, the word Zifang, is the right-hand man of Liu Bang, the ancestor of the Han Dynasty. He strategized and won a decisive victory, and made great contributions to the establishment of the Han Dynasty. However, after becoming famous, Zhang Liang was not complacent, but always maintained a humble and low-key attitude.
He is well versed in the truth that "if you are far away from the rivers and lakes, you will worry about your king", and often stand up at critical moments, and return to the mountains and forests in peaceful and prosperous times. This kind of way of dealing with the world with a heavy weight not only won Liu Bang's appreciation, but also allowed him to die a good death.
In stark contrast to this is Han Shin. As one of the "Three Heroes of the Early Han Dynasty", Han Xin's military talent is unmatched. However, he doesn't know how to restrain his edge. After his great achievements, Han Xin became more and more arrogant.
Not only did he frequently compete with other ministers in the court, but he also directly asked Liu Bang for the throne. This attitude of not knowing how to restrain eventually aroused Liu Bang's suspicion. In the end, Han Xin was executed on the charge of treason, and ended up in a tragic end.
These two very different endings tell us that it is awe-inspiring to be a master of merit, but knowing how to be humble and low-key is the way to stay long-term.
As the old saying goes, "When the water is full, it overflows, and when the moon is full, it loses", staying humble will not only help us avoid unnecessary conflicts, but also win us more opportunities and respect.
3. Be cautious in words and deeds: a wise choice to stay away from right and wrong
In the complex interpersonal relationships, we often encounter all kinds of rights and wrongs. However, getting involved can often bring yourself unnecessary trouble.
The ancients said: "Those who are right and wrong are right and wrong." This sentence expresses a profound truth: people who like to talk about the rights and wrongs of others often become the center of right and wrong themselves.
Let's review the character Wang Xifeng in "Dream of Red Mansions". As the daughter-in-law of Jiafu, Wang Xifeng is smart and good at managing her family. However, she has a fatal weakness: she likes to tell right and wrong.
She often talks about others behind her back, and even sows discord. This behavior, while earning her some benefits in the short term, ended up planting a bane for her.
Once, Wang Xifeng heard that Jia Lian was having an affair with the daughter-in-law of Bao Er's family, so he secretly sent someone to investigate. When she learned that the news was true, not only did she not communicate directly with Jia Lian, but spread the news everywhere, trying to restrain Jia Lian through public opinion pressure.
However, this practice not only did not improve her relationship with Jia Lian, but instead plunged the entire Jia Mansion into chaos. In the end, Wang Xifeng not only lost the trust of Jia's mother because of too much involvement in right and wrong, but also made many enemies in the family.
Her fate also confirms the old saying: "The tongue brings disaster and blessing, and the curse comes from the mouth, and you must be careful." The lesson of this story is that it is wise to stay away from right and wrong and focus on your own business.
As the ancients said: "Sit quietly and think about your own mistakes, and don't talk about others", we should reflect more on ourselves and talk less about others. Only in this way can we stay awake in complex relationships and avoid getting caught up in unnecessary disputes.
4. Positive and optimistic: the right attitude towards life
Life will inevitably encounter various setbacks and difficulties, but how we perceive them determines whether we can draw strength from them. The ancients said: "If you lose your horse, you will not know whether you are blessed", this sentence profoundly expresses the impermanence of life, and also reveals the importance of facing life positively.
Let's take a look at the modern literary writer Yu Hua's Fugui. In the novel "Alive", Fugui experienced a series of hardships such as the fall of his family, war, famine, and the Cultural Revolution.
He lost all his loved ones, and eventually was left with only an old cow to keep him company. However, even in such a difficult situation, Fugui still maintained his love and hope for life.
Fugui often said to his old cow: "As long as you are alive, there is hope." This sentence is not only his encouragement to Lao Niu, but also his admonition to himself.
After experiencing countless hardships, Fugui did not complain, but chose to accept everything in life calmly. With his actions, he interprets the true meaning of "living": to maintain the love and hope for life even in the most difficult moments.
The lesson of Fugui's story is that difficulties and setbacks in life are inevitable, but we can choose to face them with a positive attitude.
As the "Yellow Emperor's Neijing" said: "Anger hurts the liver, joy hurts the heart, thoughts hurt the spleen, sorrow hurts the lungs, and fear hurts the kidneys." "Excessive negative emotions not only do not solve the problem, but can harm our physical and mental health. Therefore, we should learn to find hope in adversity and opportunity in difficulties.
As Helen Keller said, "When one door closes, another opens." "A positive and optimistic attitude not only helps us get through difficult times, but also allows us to grow and emerge stronger in the face of adversity.
5. Kind words: warm others and illuminate yourself
In this age of information explosion, we often overlook the power of words. A kind word may bring warmth and hope to others; A malicious word can cause irreparable harm to others.
As the saying goes: "A good word is warm in three winters, and a bad word is hurtful and cold in June." "Let's take a look back at the famous book "Les Misérables" by the French writer Victor Hugo. The protagonist, Jean Valjean, is imprisoned for stealing bread and is rejected by everyone after he is released from prison.
However, a good bishop treated him with tolerance and kindness, not only providing him with food and lodging, but also lied to the police that it was a gift after Valjean stole his silverware.
The bishop said to Valjean: "I bought your soul with these silverware, and I saved it from evil thoughts and gave it to God. "
This sentence completely changed Valjean's life. Since then, he has changed his mind and become a good person who helps others. This story teaches us that a kind word, a kind act, can completely change a person's fate.
In real life, we should also learn to warm others with kind words. For example, saying "you have done a good job" to a friend who is struggling, and saying "believe in yourself, you will be able to do it" to a colleague who is frustrated, these seemingly simple words may bring great encouragement and strength to the other party.
At the same time, we must also keep in mind the teachings in "Caigen Tan": "Don't blame people for small mistakes, don't make people selfish, and don't think about people's old evils." "This is not only a kind of cultivation, but also a kind of wisdom. When we are able to tolerate the shortcomings of others and understand the difficulties of others, our interpersonal relationships will naturally become more harmonious.
epilogue
Words are a bridge between people, and a link between the inner and outer world. Learning to use the art of speech not only makes our lives smoother, but also helps us build more harmonious relationships.
Let us work together to warm others with kind words, face life with a positive attitude, and believe that our life path will be more exciting.