A few days ago, an old classmate came to talk to me, and his words were full of helplessness and anxiety: "I am really heartbroken about my child, but why doesn't he grow up?" "It turns out that children are always careless in their studies and procrastinate. The classmates taught many times, but to no avail.
Hearing my classmate's complaints, I advised her not to be too anxious, as children's growth needs time and correct guidance. In fact, in the process of children's growth, the more "ruthless" the parents behave in certain things, the better the children tend to become.
01
Parents who are more ruthless in cultivating self-discipline habits
If parents are asked what are the most important aspects of their child's education? It is estimated that more than 80% of parents will choose to "develop good habits".
Many parents understand that self-discipline is the key to their child's success. But there are not many parents who can really work hard in this regard.
I think of the kids in my neighborhood.
Every night, his parents asked him to complete his homework within the allotted time, then read extracurricular books and go to bed on time. At first, the child was always reluctant, crying and resisting. But parents always adhere to their principles and never relent.
Today, the child is doing well in school, excelling in grades, and is well organized.
The famous writer Ye Shengtao said: "Education is to cultivate habits." ”
Parents who are not slack-conscious in cultivating their children's self-discipline habits tend to have their children able to manage their time wisely and complete tasks efficiently, making it easier for them to gain a foothold in a competitive society when they grow up.
02
Parents who are more ruthless in frustration education
I have done a survey on the Internet, what are the qualities that parents are most worried about when their children are growing up? Most parents chose "resilience".
When a child encounters a setback, some parents are always distressed and immediately lend a hand. And truly sensible parents will choose to be "ruthless" and let their children face and solve it by themselves.
For example, the child fails to participate in the competition and is depressed. Ruthless parents do not overly comfort, but encourage their children to analyze the reasons for failure and learn from the lessons.
Such children will not give up easily because of a little difficulty, they are strong in their hearts and can grow tenaciously in the face of adversity.
As Nietzsche said, "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger." ”
03
Parents who are more ruthless in their academic requirements
Many parents hope that their children can achieve good grades, but in practice, they do not put forward strict requirements for their children's learning.
I know a parent who is extremely strict with her child's learning. A certain amount of study tasks must be completed every day, and homework must be completed conscientiously without the slightest sloppiness.
The child also complained of stress, but with the insistence of the parents, the child developed a serious and focused study habit. Eventually, the child was admitted to the ideal school with excellent grades.
This kind of "ruthless" parents in learning have cultivated children who understand the importance of learning and know how to work hard for their future.
04
Parents who are more ruthless in moral education
In today's society, many parents only focus on their children's grades, and the most neglected aspect of education is moral education.
However, truly far-sighted parents are not soft on moral education.
When a child lies, steals, or bullies others, the ruthless parent will criticize him harshly, so that the child realizes the seriousness of the mistake and bears the consequences.
Such a child will grow up to be a moral, responsible, and respected person.
As Immanuel Kant said, "There are only two things in the world that can deeply shock our hearts, the brilliant starry sky above our heads, and the sublime moral law within us." ”
The way parents educate their children determines their children's future life path. The more "ruthless" the parents are in these four things, the more they can raise excellent children.
Of course, the "ruthlessness" here is not a sternness without warmth, but a firm guidance full of love and expectation.
From the perspective of children's psychological development, different stages have different characteristics:
In early childhood, children are curious and need guidance from their parents to start cultivating habits.
In primary school, children begin to have their own ideas, and frustration education must keep up.
In middle school, the study tasks are heavier, and the study requirements cannot be relaxed.
During adolescence, children are prone to impulsiveness, and moral education is particularly important.
Here are three ways to help your child grow
1. Be clear about your goals and expectations
In the TV series "Little Shede", Nan Li has a clear goal for her child's education.
She knows her child's strengths and weaknesses, and she also knows her expectations for her child's future.
Parents should work with their children to set clear goals and let them know where to go.
2. Lead by example
Parents are the best role models for their children.
If parents themselves are unable to be self-disciplined, unable to face setbacks bravely, do not pay attention to learning, and have poor moral character, how can they ask their children to do it?
3. Give encouragement and support
Just as a tree needs sunshine and rain to grow, children's growth also needs the encouragement and support of parents.
When children make progress, give timely affirmation; Give warm hugs and encouragement to your child when they are struggling.
As Mr. Tao Xingzhi said, "The whole secret of educating children is to believe in children and liberate them." ”
Write to the end
Chen Heqin, an education expert, once said: "Parents should be patient in educating their children and grow up with their children. ”
Parents are the guides of their children's lives, and the "ruthlessness" in these four things contains deep love and expectations for their children.
I hope that every child can thrive under the careful guidance of their parents, bloom their own light, and move towards a better future.