My name is Lin Fang, I'm 68 years old, and I've been with my 73-year-old husband, who just died suddenly in a nursing home, for most of my life. However, this so-called companionship is full of endless pain and betrayal.
When I think back to when we first got married, I was also full of hope for the future. At that time, he seemed to be honest and responsible, with a stable job, although his family was not wealthy, but I believed that as long as we were husband and wife, life would always get better and better. On the day of the wedding, I was dressed in a simple wedding dress, with a happy smile on my face and anticipation for my future life.
The picture comes from the Internet
But who would have thought that soon after marriage, he began to show his true colors. I remember it was an ordinary weekend, and I was cleaning and preparing dinner at home as usual. He came back from work with an unfamiliar smell of perfume. The scent was rich and pungent, completely different from what I was used to. The woman's instinct made my heart tighten, and when I couldn't help but question him, he said lightly: "I just accidentally rubbed it on the bus." I looked at his evasive eyes, and although I was skeptical, I still chose to believe him, after all, at that time, I was not willing to easily break the peace of the family that had just been established.
However, this is only the beginning of the nightmare. As time went on, he came home later and later and cared less and less about me. I started to notice subtle marks on his clothes, such as lipstick marks, women's hair strands. Every time I confronted him with this evidence, he always had all sorts of excuses and justifications.
Once, I found a movie theater ticket stub in his coat pocket, and that day he told me he was working overtime at the company. When I questioned him with the ticket stub, a hint of panic flashed in his eyes, but he quickly calmed down and said, "This was given by a colleague, and I put it in my pocket." I didn't believe him, so I asked him aloud, "How long are you going to lie to me?" But he said impatiently: "Don't be so suspicious, I'm tired enough from working outside, and I have to face your questioning when I get home." ”
The picture comes from the Internet
As the children grew up, they also learned about their father's absurd behavior. Once, the son was ridiculed by his classmates at school, saying that his father was a big carrot. The son came home angrily and shouted at his father, "Dad, can you think about this family for us?" What you did out there made me look up at school! But he shouted disapprerovingly, "You don't have to worry about my business! What do children understand! The son ran back to his room in tears, and since then, he has become silent and his academic performance has plummeted.
The daughter was also hurt by her father's actions. Once, she saw her father holding hands with a strange woman on the street, and she ran home and told me. My daughter and I hugged and cried, and I didn't know how to explain it all to her. The daughter cried and said, "Mom, why did Dad do this to us? I was speechless and could only hold her tightly, my heart full of pain and helplessness.
Over the years, his cheating has never stopped, and I have gone from anger and quarrels at the beginning to discouragement later. I used to try to salvage our marriage, for the sake of the children, and for the sake of the family. I talked to him in the hope that he would change his mind, but he ignored my words.
I remember one year on Valentine's Day, I carefully prepared a sumptuous dinner and bought him a gift, hoping to surprise him and make him feel the warmth of family. However, he did not return that night and did not even make a phone call. When I came back the next day, I still had the smell of alcohol and a woman's perfume. I had a complete breakdown and had a big fight with him. He said indifferently: "You can live this life, and if you can't, you will get divorced!" "At that moment, my heart was completely dead.
When the children grew up, they all left home. My son went to work in the field and rarely came back. Although the daughter is in the local area, she rarely interacts with her father. The house became deserted, and I was the only one guarding this empty shell home.
All these years, I have endured all the pain and stress alone. I used to cry countless times in the middle of the night, asking myself why fate had done this to me. But for the sake of the child, I still survived strongly.
The picture comes from the Internet
Now, he died suddenly in a nursing home. When the nursing home told us to deal with the aftermath, my children and I looked at each other. The son said coldly: "Mom, let's leave him alone, he deserves it!" He never fulfilled his responsibilities as a husband and father, so why should we grieve for him? The daughter also chimed in: "Mom, my brother is right, such a father is not worth our sadness for him." ”
I was silent for a long time, and my heart was mixed. The love that once had was long gone, and all that was left was endless hatred and disappointment. His indifference and his betrayal in those years surfaced in front of my eyes. I remembered everything I had done for this family, I remembered the hurt my children had suffered, and eventually, I gritted my teeth and said, "We don't want his body as if he never existed." ”
After making this decision, my heart did not feel relaxed, but there was an indescribable heaviness. After all, he is the one I once loved and the father of the children. But I know that we have been hurt too deeply by him to turn back.
In the days that followed, my children and I struggled to live our lives, trying to forget the pain of the past. The son has achieved good results at work, and the daughter has also found her own happiness. Watching the children get better and better, I also have a sense of comfort in my heart.
Sometimes, I would see an old man of his age walking by the hand of his wife on the road, and I would feel a wave of emotion in my heart. If he can cherish our family, maybe we can also have such a happy old age. But all this is only if, he himself ruined it all.
Some people may think that we are ruthless, but who can truly understand the pain and suffering of these 47 years? Is his life pitiful or deserved? Perhaps, only he knows. But for me and my children, his departure may be a relief. We can finally shake off his shadow and start our lives again.