There are currently more than 100 million marriageable young people in China who have not yet entered the palace of marriage, which is really an incredible figure, and many of them actively choose to be single and childless.
This phenomenon has aroused widespread concern and heated discussions from all walks of life.
"Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, and I enjoy happiness without children and grandchildren."
"Poor sons and poor daughters, rich to raise their own bodies."
Many netizens have said: The reason why these young people choose this way is that they are unwilling to let the next generation endure the hardships of life.
But is that really the case?
The financial pressure is heavy, and it is difficult to afford the cost of raising children
In today's China, it takes hundreds of thousands or even millions of yuan to raise a child from birth to independence.
According to incomplete statistics, the average total expenditure for raising a child to the age of 18 in a first-tier city is as high as 960,000 yuan. Among them, education expenditure accounted for the highest proportion, reaching more than 35%.
Faced with such high childcare costs, many young people can't help but retreat.
Especially those who work hard in big cities, their income level is often difficult to afford the huge expenses of having children after marriage. As the saying goes, "it is difficult for a good woman to cook without rice", and the weak economic foundation makes them shy away from starting a family.
Some people may ask, hasn't the per capita income level of Chinese increased significantly in recent years? Why do young people still feel that they can't afford to raise children?
It's like a "scissors bad" problem.
While incomes are growing, spending is rising at a faster rate, especially for education and housing prices, which is putting pressure on them. Just like a balance, with rising wages on one end and prices on the other, the quality of life of many young people has not improved substantially.
In addition to the financial burden, the opportunity cost of parenting can be daunting for young people.
The most intuitive example is that many female employees in the company choose to leave their jobs as soon as they get married and have children, because their energy and time are occupied by their children, and it is difficult to balance their careers. And those new mothers who insist on working are often exhausted and physically and mentally exhausted.
It can be said that raising children requires not only money, but also a lot of time and energy, which is undoubtedly a huge challenge for young people pursuing career development.
The economic pressure is huge, coupled with the prevalence of chicken baby culture, many young people bluntly say that "they can't afford it, and they can't raise it well".
In a highly competitive social environment, childcare becomes a heavy burden
With the increasing competition in society, many young people feel like a "spinning top" that is constantly running, and they may be left behind by the times if they stop for a while.
In such an era of "fast-paced, high-pressure, and great change", many people put all their energy into working hard in the workplace, for fear of missing any opportunity. As the saying goes, "opportunities are always reserved for those who are prepared", and the pressure of not advancing or retreating makes young people dare not slack off.
Once you have a child, parenting responsibilities can take up a large part of your life.
According to a survey of women in the workplace, nearly 60% of respondents believe that childbearing can have a detrimental effect on their careers.
They worry that they will miss out on promotions by taking time off to care for their children, and that they will lose their competitiveness because of maternity leave. The shadow of the "glass ceiling" looms over their heads, making many people choose to postpone childbearing or even give up the opportunity to become mothers.
Even men face the same dilemma between career and family. For many 9-to-5 office workers, the conflict between work and childcare can seem difficult to reconcile. They have to make a difficult choice between family responsibilities and personal development.
In addition to the squeeze of time and energy, there are also many social pressures in the process of parenting.
The emergence of "tiger mom" and "wolf dad" reflects the prevalence of chicken baby culture. From preschool to extracurricular classes, from Olympiad mathematics to programming, parents are afraid that their children will lose at the starting line, and they are competing to push their children onto the battlefield of the "arms race".
Hoping for a son to become a dragon not only makes children miserable, but also makes parents physically and mentally exhausted.
In a standardized, fast-paced society, parenting seems to be a never-ending "race". In the face of many pressures, whether it is a career-oriented new human or an overly anxious parent, it is inevitable that they will be shy away from having children.
Traditional family values are changing, and individual choices are being more respected
There is an old Chinese saying, "There are three unfilial pieties, and no queen is greater".
However, with the development of society and the renewal of concepts, this traditional concept is facing challenges.
More and more young people are beginning to question: can the meaning of life really only be achieved through inheritance? Can the value of an individual only be measured by whether it is later or not?
They answered with action. According to the survey, nearly half of the post-90s group believe that "personal development is more important than family". They crave more time and space at their disposal, and don't want to be tied down by family responsibilities.
This change in perception is inseparable from the accumulation of social wealth and the improvement of women's status.
Since the reform and opening up, China's economy has continued to grow at a high speed, and people's material living standards have improved substantially. After worrying about food and clothing, the spiritual needs are becoming more and more prominent. Self-realization and personality emancipation have become the demands of the new generation of young people.
They are no longer satisfied with "getting married and having children for the continuation of incense", but hope to achieve inner growth and sublimation through colorful life experiences.
The change in attitudes among women is particularly significant.
With the popularization of education and the expansion of employment, the status of women in society is constantly improving. They began to get rid of the traditional role of "husband and child" and bravely pursue their life goals.
Economic independence has given women more choices, and many would rather be "their own queens" than succumb to the shackles of "inheritance".
As the well-known writer Sanmao said: "The value of a woman does not lie in whether she is married or not, but whether she loves life, has wisdom, and knows how to respect herself." ”
The rise of this phenomenon of "single aristocrats" is also due to the increasingly enlightened social concept. Divorce is no longer a taboo topic, and the unmarried and infertile groups are no longer discriminated against by public opinion. Personal choices are increasingly respected and inclusive.
In 2021, the Civil Code was officially implemented, and "it is forbidden to interfere with the freedom of marriage of others under any pretext" was written into the law. This is undoubtedly an important manifestation of social progress and a sign that individual rights are being protected like never before.
Of course, the traditional family model still has its value, and many people still regard forming a happy family as their ideal in life.
But in an age of pluralism, a more diverse lifestyle should be allowed.
epilogue
Not getting married and having children is a helpless choice made by countless young people in the torrent of the times.
Economic pressures, social competition, and changing attitudes have all woven a complex background to this phenomenon. We should not simply define it as "willful" or "selfish", but should look at it from a more open, rational perspective. Everyone has the right to plan their life according to their own wishes, and whether to choose marriage and childbirth should be respected and tolerated by society.
At the same time, we should also reflect: what makes young people have to make such choices?
Whether the social support system is perfect, whether there is sufficient space for personal development, and whether the cost of marriage can be reduced...... Only by facing up to the problem and making efforts in various ways can we create a more friendly living environment for young people and give them the confidence and courage to pursue a better life.
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