"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." – Robert Louis Stevenson
Do you know? In the Chinese family we are familiar with, there is an interesting phenomenon: among the brothers and sisters, the most "hard" after middle age is often the eldest child. This is not my nonsense, but there are many people who have experienced it in real life.
Let's start with my friend's example. He has an older brother and sister, the elder brother is the pillar of the family, and the elder sister is married to a good family, and her life is quite nourishing. And what about himself? was spoiled by his older brothers and sisters since he was a child, but when he grew up, he became the most worrying one in the family. He said that when his brothers and sisters made mistakes when they were young, their parents always protected them, and when it was their turn, even if they just accidentally fell on a small heel, they would be nagged by their parents for a long time. When he grew up, his brothers and sisters had their own careers, but he was still running for life.
Behind this, there is actually a hidden social phenomenon. The ancients said: "The eldest brother is the father, and the eldest sister is the mother." Traditionally, the eldest is often more responsible, and the eldest is seen as the "little emperor" of the family. Although this perception has changed in modern society, it is still deeply ingrained in many families.
So, why is the eldest often the most "miserable" among siblings? Here are a few reasons I've summarized:
1. Excessive pampering: The eldest child has been pampered by his family since he was a child, and it is easy to develop a dependency mentality, and it is difficult to be independent when he grows up.
2. Shift of responsibility: Parents often shift the responsibility to the eldest child for big and small things in the family, so that he can take on more.
3. Social expectations: In people's subconscious, the old man is often regarded as a representative of "unsuccessful" and is easily misunderstood and prejudiced by those around him.
4. Psychological burden: The special status of the eldest child among his siblings makes him bear more psychological pressure.
Of course, this does not mean that the old man does not have a happy life. As long as you learn to adjust your mentality and overcome difficulties, you can also live a wonderful life. Here are some suggestions:
1. Establish a sense of independence: Cultivate the ability to be independent from an early age and learn to take responsibility for yourself.
2. Learn to communicate: Maintain good communication with your family members so that they understand your needs and difficulties.
3. Broaden your horizons: Participate in social activities, meet new people, and expand your network.
4. Positive Attitude: When encountering difficulties, maintain an optimistic attitude and face challenges bravely.
In short, it is true that the eldest child may face more challenges among his siblings, but as long as we learn to adjust our mentality and face it bravely, we can also live a happy life. As Romain Rolland said, "Life is not about how long it is, it's about how we feel." ”
So, dear elders, don't be discouraged, believe in yourself, and bravely meet the challenges, you will find that the world is actually full of sunshine and hope. Let's dance in the rain and enjoy the beauty of life!